It's always like this for me. I'll be the one falling first, in any situation. That's why when i put up my defences, they're as solid as a steel cage. Cos when i do fall, i am defenceless.

I've fallen.

Nikola could read from my face that when i do fall in love with a man, i fall very very deeply.. i am very loyal, and i get crazy in love.

That's why, i need a man who's worth it.

##

Had dinner with Nikola, a Yugoslavian customer who came by Chico's 2 nites back and offered me a job opurtunity in his billion-making company.
Had dinner with him at Shangri-La, and i felt like a queen.. what's more is that it was a buffet style of all cuisines..u name it. Sushi bar, italian kithen.. and my favourite of course was the dessert island. they had a fucking CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

i nearly dived in, i swear. and what's better is Nikola is offering me a trip to Switzerland for a week, all expenses paid (plus shopping allowance). And im bringing my family so yahooooo!!!!!

Switzerland here we come!!!

##

I feel lucky in a sense, i connect with mature (note: rich) customers nearly 80% of the time but i haven't found any of them to be husband/bf material. i still stick to the typical Singaporean men and i fall deep into them.

Azry.Azry.Azry.

You drive me crazy boy, you drive me up the wall.

It's not that it's a one way thing going on between me and him, just that i don't know how he feels.. yes, he does things for me.. we've made love.. he keeps in contact with me everyday..

but i need to see some more.

that's the thing about two people who have given their best to each other. they wanna see more.

im not asking for a r/ship, don't get me wrong. i just want to see him fall.Fall the way i did..
and be devoted. to me. i think.

i want to see him fight. Fight for what he believes is his.

I may not be his at the moment, but i could tell from the conversation we had that he wouldn't wanna share me..

Mira : Darling, how would you react if i told you that i still contact my ex bf and that i still meet up with him for sex once in awhile?

Azry : *In shock* It's better for me not to know.

And when i was pissed-ass drunk on Saturday night, and Diy called him like 28 times over a time period of 2 hours, he got so shocked.
He was telling me..

Azry : Just the night before we were spending the night at ECP, then the next night u got so drunk.. i don't understand why lah. So shocking u know.

AW... so he does care. Initially i thought he didn't cos he was listening to my story like it was just another story..
Then when he really did tell me how he felt was when i told him how badly i was wasted.
It was the worst ya'll. i have never in my life been so drunk, i thought i was gonna drown in my own puke.

Like what Nisa would be saying is this ; i was wasted like a FISH.

Diy my girl was there by my side all along..making sure i was fine. and im glad it was her. I wouldnt wanna ask for anyone else. cos only she knew how i'd feel if i were to get so drunk and end up wailing..she'd know what's going thru my mind. she would stroke my head..make me feel better.
She'd be there.
And i thank her from the bottom of my heart for being there that night.

##

It's starting to get a little random now, but i gotta go. I have to go somewhere.
And tonight, im meeting my sayang again..he asked me out to Soccer at DB.
I miss him, and i think..i think.. i may be falling in love with him..

Sounds dangerous.