Good morning everyone, it's 8.18 on my clock on a sunny Sunday morning and guess what?
i just got home from clubbing.

What a night!

I had more than just fun,
i had an eye-opening experience.

And just to save myself from oversleeping, (cos an idiot like me has to go work you know, at noon some more.) i guess sharing with you my night's experience won't be such a bother.

Let me go by sequence, shall i?

Saturday night wasn't busy night at all, it was exceptionally quiet for a saturday night.
Weird as hell.
I had fun working..what with cracking my ass with Haris and all..
And the highlight of the night would be,

AZRY DROPPING BY TO GIVE ME A SURPRISE!!!!

Oh dear Lord, tell me why im smiling?

I swear. my jaw practically dropped when i saw him seated at the bar near the cashier area.
I was speaking to Haris and all, suddenly i saw a man sitting by the bar..
instincts told me to look..
and there..
i saw him, my sayang..handsome as ever, with a huge smile plastered to his face.

My eyeballs were popping out, i couldn't feel my jaw.
I was surprised ok?
Baby, gimme more of these. They could really help with my endorphins.

And so i approached him, oblivious to the world..
by then, the crowd was weakening, so i could afford to screw work for a tinie while and attend to my much needed love and fond absence of the man i've truly fallen for right now..

We hugged, and we kissed..and i introduced him to everyone.
No one was spared, expect for the chefs who were busy with closing.

Earlier on the nite, i made Azry a small little rose using a piece of serviette and a straw, and i cut out a heart-shape from a piece of plain paper and wrote, " To my teddy bear, i miss you so much, Take care. From Mira with LOVE.29/7/06." and stapled it to the stem of the hand-made rose.
thought of dropping by Insomnia to pass it to him, just to make him smile..
but then he already made me smile by appearing.
Just seeing his face makes me go tralala.
it's the first time im feeling this way for a guy, u know.

And we sat outside where we chatted, joined by Dewi, Souher and Afiq.
Rizal just had to come by and act all gay again on Azry. My poor baby, molested by an 18 year old.

As i stepped inside to help out with the orders, Souher had quite a chat with him.
As i could recall ;

Souher : So.. you and Mira, what? *sheepish grin.
Azry : *Blushes - We're seeing each other.
Souher : Ooo. ok, good. cos she talks about u everyday.
Azry : Ah? what she say ah? *kepo look.
Souher : i can't tell you, she'll kill me. but it's all good things lah, so dont worry.

My oh my. i must thank souher for being a makcik kepo for awhile, it's all good.
=)

Introduced him to Sady, and soon after he left for work..
i got to kiss him after a long time while on his bike, getting ready to zoom off.
But that wasn't enough, cos i miss every part of him.
And next tuesday, we're gg back to Harry's to have a mexican dinner and then off to Hotel 81 Orchard to spend the night together.
I really hope im done with my menses by then.
eurgh~

So half an hour passed, i was still excited.
I was still filled with an airness that left me feeling good and smiling all the way.

Azry just dropped by Mira's workplace to see her, to give her a surprise, to make her smile.
That's enuf to send her to cloud nine!!

And then..
we left for party.
Ditched DB for Devil's cos i saw someone i didn't like entering the club, and i had a bad feeling of sum sort. So Cheekys was next best option.
Upon arrival,
we were given a discount by Kali and got ourselves a jug, and half of its contents got my head spinning already.
I tell u ah, my alcohol tolerance damn bad sia now.
But, i got nothing to complain.
Not that i need the high anyways.
I have a new sense of high now. HAH.

Met Shabir for the first time, and he's a damn cute bugger.
Well-dressed, tall, handsome, cute and very captivating.
I had a perfect partner for the night.
EXCEPT for the part when he left me for a good hour to go to Zouk to meet his frens and get drunk.
So i stuck with his cousin, Faisal instead. Another fun guy, very outgoing and i had a nice time with him.
He took good care of me.. so did Feroz, the Don of Cheekys. He's ultimately the regular of the century for that club.
That guy's such a gangster, he knows ALOT of people.
So my contacts just went voooom! just by being his friend.

So when Shabir came back to Md Sultan, all of us decided to head down to Boat Quay to groove some more.
And i felt sooo scandalous cos I was kissing Shabir and Faisal on the same night.
Both guys held my hands and hugged me, but ULTIMATELY Feroz announced to EVERYONE that i was his girlfriend.
HAHAHAH

But my loyalty still stuck to Shabir, cos i knew him first, and he was my friend after all..
And he owes me a proper date to Le Baroque sometime next week, after what happened at Khushi.
MAJOR INDIAN FIGHT.
Haiyo, it's an eye-opener cos finally, i got to see how indians fight.
Like kabhi khushi kabhi gham movie like that.
Terbelit2 siallll!!!!!
I see also i pening.

So because of the improper events that occured during our supposed 'night out', he's making it up by dating me next week.
And im looking forward to that, no worries.

Suppering with Shah Alam where i was open about my affections towards Shabir, made Rizal wonder.
I told them, yes, i am very manje with Shabir, that's cos that's how we are..
Shabir is a very manje guy, and i can handle that.
But ultimately, at the end of the night and day, i seek for my man, none other than Azry.

I told him ,

Rizal : Wah..u and Shabir so cute together, so sweet..
Mira : Yes we are, but at the end of the day, my heart's with Azry.. i love him.

##

I've said it.
I love him.
I can't believe i've said it :-

I LOVE AZRY.

Sayang, sayang sekali.

oh my goodness!

oh well, only time will tell, and only my heart knows where to find him.
Azry is safe in my chambers, locked.

Even if me and him don't make it to the future, (eg. relationship/marriage) i know i'll understand why one day and accept it, and i know he'll always be someone special in my life.
Someone i used to have emotions for.
I know i can never hate him.
He's like my second Zahid.

A person i could never hate,
and i love him till today.

Speaking of which, it's been a year since Zahid's death..
and i still can't believe he's gone.
Bags me down, but i know God loves him more than anyone else does,
and i'm grateful for that.

My Azry, do take care of yourself ok..i don't want your life wasted.
Treasure it well, and most importantly, know that you have someone who cherishes you ALOT.

I am officially tired and worn out, one more hour before i have to idiotically go to work.
Sunday lunch, I HOPE IT WON'T GET BUSY.

If you're wondering why i haven't finsihed my episode of clubbing saga,
there's just too much to say and too little braincells to think about every detail.
So i just wanna sum it all up,
I HAD FUN.
and my thank yous to Souher and Afiq for making it a night, to remember..

Adios !

I am dead beat from work and i'm sick and tired of the sprain on my right calf.
You bitch calf!!
I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

I am definitely undergoing PMS.
very dangerous,loh.

Mira gets very temperamental and annoyed easily.

On the other hand, i'm welcoming Baby Mocha with open arms!!
i wanna see it, babe!
he/she 's so cute....!!!

Tmr night, planned clubbing with Souher and her friends. I hope i can bring them in successfully, cos seriously Ridwan can get very 'angin' sometimes.
And Shabir's coming along, my so called 'date' for the night.
Thinking of heading down to Chijmes with him first, then meet Souher and all at DB.
they wanna get the culture shock, so im gonna give them something MAJOR.
hahahaha..

Dad picked me up from work, and it was HIS idea to drop by Insomnia just to meet Azry for awhile.
Sounds very...cheesy kan kan kan?
kanina lah.
-sudden vulgar outburst!-

didn't know where that came from..

And yes, so we met Azry my boo for awhile.
He had his hands full. And i mean full.
There was a fight of some sort.
and some bitch was yelling at him.
YOU BITCH!
HOW DARE YOU SCREAM AT MY MAN'S HANDSOME FACE!??!
NVONQNR18934013 Y0C12~@~!@~!#~#$!$
kaninnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I'll kill you the next time i bump into you at that place.

We were greeted by the 'Sean Paul' lookalike bouncer there, Azry's official buddy lah.
I swear, i dont know his name. But he does look like Sean Paul sia, scary.
So Sean Paul saw us, and he willingly let Azry know.
so sweet of him to acknowledge our presence.

So he knows, that i was there for Azry.. he takes notice. Good guy.
I feel good knowing that others know that im Azry's girl of some sort and that makes me feel special.
I'm crazy, i told you.
I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!

Sean Paul is a nice guy to talk to. Very friendly and approachable.
Has a wife tho, and just became a father.
Good for you!

Sean Paul : Hello..ape khabar?
Mira : Baik, and you? Azry mane? die keje dalam eh ni malam?
Sean Paul : Ah2. Biar die kene torture pulak ni malam.
Mira : Asal?
Sean Paul : Biar lah die, biar die kurus siket.
Mira : Tak baeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Die dah cukop handsome tu!
Sean Paul : No comments babe.

-_-

Hahaha. me and being over-defensive of Azry. i crack myself up all the time.

And speaking of which,
im torn between Hyatt Regency JB or just typical Hotel 81 Bugis/Orchard/Elegance.
I think i'll opt for the latter.
More convenient.
Heh.
(more convenience, more time. geddit.)

And Nisa describe her eyes as looking like dead flies.
That got me laughing!
DEAD FLIES?
Babe, why must they be dead?!
ayo you ah.
horrible sia.

and now im tired.
gooznait.

gives girlfriend a weird look.


YOOOHOOO....!!!
Lady Wany...
Aren't we supposed to go to DBL O tonite?

Oh well, i guess we both totally forgot about it, aye?
Picit me!

##

Anyhoos..
Grand Hyatt JB, here we come.
Azry, get ready to BLAST.
cos im gonna make you drop, boy.

*winks

Mami, no me dejes solo..
Papi, no me dejes sola..
Te gusta cuando yo te azoto..
Papi, tu me vuelves loca..

Papi, tirate ahora!


OH MY GAWD.

i am in love with Daddy Yankee's and Wisin Yandel's song, No Me Dejes Solo.

It's so.... sexy.

I'd love to have it played while i ride my man all night long.

Wooohoooo.

My right foot is hurt all because of the dancing last night.

Impromptu clubbing with who else but Nirrah,Danial,Hanafi and the pussy bouncer Ridwan.
Er..Julie and Rizal were there too.

Operations last night was quite nerve-wrecking, the reason why we decided to let loose. And i wasn't even properly attired.
Dancing at the dancefloor all the way with back2back good songs, right after Bushmen performed.

Honestly and seriously,
i do not understand Reggae.
Gimme Reggaeton, i'm fine with that.
But Reggae?
And what...skanking?
what in the greenest world is all that..?

And i have to frustratingly and painfully announce this ; i lost my handphone again.
I refuse to disclose on how i lost it, but it's lost so yeah.
And there goes my pay.
I gotta get a new handphone for my sister and retrieve back all my important numbers.
On the other hand i feel like giving up having a hp.
IT SUCKS.

Working later on today, and i want to prove Nitin wrong.
He thinks that i talk too much to the chefs.
what i believe is, i make sure my station's ok first, then i go talk to them to relieve my workload.

If you're telling me to work without fun, i'll tell you to kiss my ass and then i'll kick your balls.
And it'll be one of those 9-yard kicks that'll leave your face blue.

So i miss my Azry, and i was thinking of next week, the dinner and then the loveshack. but since i carelessly lost my hp, i doubt i have enuf money to last me thru the month.
Julie and me NEED a day job.
and we're starting with agencies.

Speaking of needs,
i have a fren who has body odour like no other.
And im finding my ways to let her know that.......
...... she NEEDS to know.
i mean, it's embarassing for my outside frens to come dashing to me and telling me that my fren has BO and they remember her as that.
It isn't nice for a lady to smell, you know what i mean?
so do help me out here, im finding the nicest possible ways to treat Miss BO right and to help her un-BO herself.

On the contrary, i LUUUUUUURRRRRRRRVVVVVVVE Julie's Ferragamo scent.
It's soft and lingering,
DAMN SEXY!!

and for now, i wanna bathe and MAKE SURE
i have no.....
body odour.
-_-

Rabak dok.

Yesterday was a good day,
thanks to my Laddoos and Hairul.

Met up with Safrina,Mul and Atikah (and now they're called My Laddoos.You know, the indian sweets? Yeah those.)
cos i think they should be called that.
Sugar-coated some more.

Whenever im late to meet them or what, i fail to feel guilty cos whenever i see their exasperated faces after waiting for me for long, i can't help but fall in love with them all over again..

=D

And we had a good time at McD's whitesands, didn't we?
talking and laughing and catching up..

And the bus ride to tamp with Safrina was a soulful one, i really see how a friend loves me and i could see her disbelieve in all the things that's been happening to us since we all left school..

what can i say?
Things change with a blink of an eye.

And then i headed down to Tamp to meet Hairul, my buddy who's been there for me at the most unexpected times.
Had a nice chat, and i hope i helped him open up himself, his truest desires, and most importantly, HIS EYES.

If you want something in life, go for it. If not, drop it. Don't waste your time, life's too short to be wasted.

And for that special someone who means alot to me, im not trying to 'carry' your balls or whatsoever.
I've learnt that i needed to say those words to help u understand that I understand.
And without a doubt, i do admire the man u are - Strong, Determined,Disciplined.
I am ur bitch and i want you to know that.
I will plaster that smile on ur face at times u think the world's against you.
I'll help u pull thru the day with the littlest way i can without even seeing you, cos now, i understand the emotional battle u fight everyday for a living.
It's no joke,Azry.
And now i know.

Reason being i have been reading.
The book entitled For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.
A riveting book on how to understand a man's inner life.
To understand these complexed yet simple-natured beings so that the human race wont face extinction within the next millenia.

It is fun reading this book, to see how strong (even Godly-figured) men become transparent when they are at their most vulnerable.
And ladies, get this and get this straight up that brain of urs :

MEN NEED RESPECT.

whether they deserve it or not, their whole world revolves around being respected.

And this book teaches me that men dont have what we ladies term it as 'male ego' or 'male pride', the very things that tick us off most of the time when we're with our men,
but they're just so transparent and insecure, they need to feel egoistic almost all the time.

One of the few things i've learnt out of 120 pages in that book.
So go grab it if u must, especially if u think u just can't figure your guy out.

On the contrary, i feel like im in the right path to becoming a sensible woman ; one who sees respect as something unconditional to be given to my man.
Yes, that's what they need out of everything else - unconditional respect.

They are funny the way they're wired, these men, but life wouldn't be complete without them.
*smiles.

I just recalled a good advice a friend shared with me ; never stoop as low as ur enemy in conflict, it won't bring you anywhere.
And secure people don't have to convince people they're having a great time in life,
cos real (meaning secure and streetwise-that's my definition, i dunno abt urs) people know that life isn't always smooth-sailing..

And please fuck, don't go around pretending that ur life is good when ur very basics in life isn't even correctly grounded.
This goes to you, homekid.

As for me, well.
I can't say im perfect either, and pointing out other people's flaws isn't my forte.
People dont learn from upfront scrutinity but from realisation.

Ever realised that each time u discovered something about urself, it sticks to u?
It plays again and again in ur head?
And after much replay, u start to make way for change.
(Hoping that it's good change)

I amaze myself at times, to be so liberal about things and how i fancy helping others.
Because i see helping others as a success in picking myself up from a rut, and getting someone out of there, too.

At the end of the day, life isn't about the number of breathes u take in a moment ; it's about the number of moments that take your breathe away..

Resident BITCH,over....and out.
xoxo

I am exasperated to my ends in this game.
I seriously am.
I don't need help, I just need myself.
I know I can do this. I know I'll prevail.
I'm disappointed at myself for being rather kiddish in this whole game.
It's mind over matter, boy.

And i may be 18, but I AM NOT DUMB.
Like i said earlier on, I'm the smartest breathing thing alive with a pussy.

I know what my man wants and i know how to make his ultimate desires come true.
But Baby, you're not allowing me to make those dreams of yours go wild, you're not allowing me to set my charms.

Just sit back and let loose, will ya?
Just let it all go..
Just sit back, and watch me bring the flow.

A time will come when i'll have no mercy.
I'll rev you up so good, like how Wany revs up her Proton Wira.

Then you'll know who's Mira.

##

On the contrary, just felt like typing those cynical and mind-twisting words.
It just feels good when u can be manipulative and know you're born to be smart. =)

Went merry-go-round in 2 cars with Wany for the past 2 days.. been having fun having a lady driver.
Jakonek skejapan.
Hehe.

Kris tagged along just now, and it's always a joy-ride when we have a male-bitch for company.
(Sorry, Kris! haha..)

Explored the whole length of Serangoon and Hougang..and settled down for Downtown East for some good old McD's.

The thought of clubbing for the night was quite exhillirating, but Mr Hashim's in town so it's NO FOR PARTY.
Thought of heading down to Attica or HRC with Wany, but get this : Attica has their Gay Night on Sunday nights, and it's usually packed to the brim.
So hooray for you gays!

Screw partying, we could always use a little bit of rest and rejuvenation.

And im about to have a monday blast, gonna wake up with lots of overdue housework and Mum just found out i smoke.
-_-

How can two girls get so dumb?

Anyhoos.
This lady here needs to sleep and rest off her emotional exasperation.
Gooznait ya'll.

Clips from the previous nightlife saga.



Myself and Wany at the usual spot outside Insomnia ;


and then...




AW!
My Sayang and Me.
Picture perfect.

##

Friday nights are crazy nights for me.

With a bad knee, i managed to have ballistic time at Insomnia.

My babes Julie and Mimi joined me, and Dad and Adly were there too..
It was fun, but i spent alot of my time just sitting down cos of my bad knee..

Sayang cut his hair and lost alot of weight.. enticing sia that bugger.
Julie was disturbing me the whole time, everytime i looked at him.

'Pek, basah eh Pek..'
hahaha...idiot lah Julie.

And soon after she left for DB. i wanted to go, but hell no cos my knee was aching.
Wany dropped by with her friends just to see me..
Outside Insomnia, where Azry was having his smoke break, she ran across the area to lunge at me..
we embraced in sucha a loud style, Azry couldnt help but see.. haha
" Kecoh siak korang..dah brape lame tak jumpe nih?!"

Oh wells, i missed that gf, for sure.

And so she was equipped with her ever so loyal Ixus, and i so wanted to take a pic with Azry Baby.
The moment i told him i wanna take a pic, he beamed and spontaneously hugged me...
AWWW.
and we took a photo together ; picture perfect.

I'll upload the pic when i have the chance to, pics are still with Wany.

The moment the foto was taken, i gave him a peck on the cheek, and I SWEAR TO GOD the whole bar (with the barmaids n bartenders) were wolf-calling!
hahaha.
i felt a surge of blood run thru my face.
malu sia!
He was so embarrased, he started smiling like a jackass..

Then Wany too, left for DB, and we were left with the band to rock on to.
Electrifying is all i can say.

Dad dropped Mimi off, and Adly sped off in his own bike..
and then Dad and i joined Azry for supper at Adam's corner..

sat next to him..
and under the table, we were holding each other's hands while talking to Dad and pretending nothing's happening.
aw fuck, i missed him so much.
i miss being alone with him.
just him and me,
just us.

Ah well,
good things come to people who wait.
So i'm gonna do just that, play with my time.

Till the next time i blog,
this is Mira over...... and out.

xoxo

Congratulations to Wany for passing her TP test.

Which means,
she's a driver already!

And that's good news to the society.

And i..
booked my btt test date just now with her and Dad.
So thrilling, haha.

I am actually feeling very sleepy right now, and im going off to bed.

Oh before i do that, i need to complain.

Azry's been a very very busy man, i wonder when he's gonna breakdown.
I'm anticipating his contract end, which means he won't have to work long hours anymore as of August,
and that spells good news.

I miss him.

People and their ego.

Sigh.

Can't really blame them.
In actual fact, they're just too afraid to face up to themselves.
Too afraid.

I miss my girlfriends...
..and i hate pretending.

Ever wondered how insomniacs live?

It's no joke being one, ok.
You turn nocturnal and nightlife at home isn't quite a life at all..

I'm supposed to be sleeping, but oh well. Couldnt resist the urge to blog.

Cancelled many plans tonight.

First up,
i knew it was Ladies Night.
Everywhere i go, i could go in without cover.
But see, like i said once,
no money, no talk.

And i am a broke-ass bitch right now.
Sadly.
I'm scraping through July, i swear.

Rina wanted to go either clubbing or barring.
And i was wishing i had all the money in the world tonight so that i could go barring with her.
In nights like these, i'd rather chill out and get the buzz.
Alley Bar would've been a good place to go, but that spells kaching so forget it.

Then somebody asked me over to MOS, and i'm like no!
Not tonight.
Cos if i wanna go to a place like that,
i'd either go with people i really know or with a really fun bunch.
Not saying that the place is worth it,
It'll be new to me..and so i'd wanna prepare for the culture shock/human traffic congestion with people i know who'd take good care of me.

And then Crystal wanted me to go Momo with her cos Brian's having his booty-shaking competition.
And then chances are i'd have to pay cover since i'm only 18, not 21 as yet.
Stupid rules for entry? forget it then.

And my darling invited me down to Insomniac again.
It's a wrong night lah, seriously.
I know how packo that place can get, so forget that one too.
The next time i'd be there is probably on Sady's birthday.
Tuesday night, opening bottle there.

Oh shiags.
It's quite weird to be at home on a saturday night.
Weird, indeed.
But i guess i just have to adapt to the change.
And u know, i bumped into the bartender at Cheekys again.
What was his name?
He's asking me to go to that joint.
Balls, no way.
The last time i was there i was puking like a fish.

So the next time i'd be there is this coming Saturday.
Ngiahahah.
Souher's asking me to go party with her, at Cheeky's and then to DB.
She wants to see my typical Saturday.
And before that, Glitched's performing at DXO.
so i'll check that place out, too.

The place Alinda went to.
I heard the patronage is mostly manjen people.

-Oh well-

You know, i could do good with a Bhangra Night you know.
*hints to Karuna.

Shabir and i are gonna go party at the end of the month, Le Baroque would be a perfect place for barring first..
and then we've decided to go Zouk after that.

Zouk is a must try, i suppose.
Every legal imbecile steps into that club.

I have nothing else soulful to write about, i'm sorry for that.
Party,party,party...
*Sigh what's new.

Oh something soulful would be ; i'm a good waitress and i love my job and i'm good at it (did i mention that already) and that i enjoy talking to Sady about things (eg. SEX).

Oh and i need to make love.

MAKE LOVE.

make love to the bouncer guy at Insomnia..
haha funny i put it that way, i amuse myself sometimes.

And this entry ends here.

*PS: And who says i'm dumb?!
I'm the smartest breathing thing alive with a pussy cos i live by the streets.
Hahahahaaha...

I feel the sudden need to head down to Sentosa for some Jazz By The Beach..

Make it the 22nd, just before Glitched's gig at DXO.
which is this coming saturday, rite?

Right.

I think i wanna take off on that saturday.



Ublues performing! They were one of the many organisers for live bands performing at Timbre, and i know they're worth watching. They're good, balls.

Anyhoos.
Today's been one of the many rare Tuesdays i have where i have the whole day to myself at home.
Wasn't on the schedule, and im just bumming my ass away..
Thinking of going cycling later on.

Speaking of rare tuesdays.
I started off with a surprise call.
A surprise call made by MOHAMMAD TAHIR.

And for those who don't know who the hell he is, he, my friend, is an old friend whom i've been missing for months..
He called,
and i was sleeping.
And the moment i heard his signature 'Hi, may i speak to Mira please?'
I yelled 'Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!!!!!!!!'
At the top of my morning voice.
His name is Md Tahir but i call him Mad.
That way, i he seems more glamorous.

Haha.
Welcome back old friend, now i have your number.
You see, the thing is i lost my hp earlier on the year, and that meant i lost all my good numbers.
So i can only hope and cross my fingers for the rest to give me a call too, so that i can retrieve back a chunk of my previous life.

##

Basically my life for the past four hours since im awake has been pretty much slack, and that's just me.
I realise i have my seasons.
There are times i turn into a workaholic, and then i'll spend the consecutive time slacking and bumming to pay back for all the lost time working.

And i just made a self-discovery.
That i'd prefer indulgence to retail therapy anytime.
Indulgence in a sense, i'd rather spend my money on a new makan place, or a fancy/posh eatery or even a recommended massage place than on a Ferragamo wallet or a D&G bag.
get me?

easier said, im not materialistic.
Even if i do buy expensive items, that's cause i want their quality, i want them to last.
Like for now, im eyeing on a Braun Buffel purse, and i wanna get it pretty soon.
And it'll probably be another 2 years since i get another wallet, since Braun Buffel spells good quality.

Oh my, i need to go to the boutique to check it out, aye.

Malas want to type already,buhbye.

I miss my Azry.

Mimi , Idah, Mira, Adly.
At the auditorium before John Herren gave his talk.

I didn't know that Adly looks good in pictures. *drools.

The past three to four days have been a blast ;

The KL trip was all worth it.

Let me start off with Friday.

Friday 14-7-06
Spent the whole day travelling to KL, and it was a pleasant journey indeed.
Upon reaching the hotel, my family checked in and i was sent to another room where i was sharing with Cik Ju. Retired early, and slept soundly. =)

Saturday 15-7-06
Was a long day, starting with a seminar that begun at 5.30pm.
The thing about staying at a hotel is, you gotta wake up early for free breakfast and so yes, i did the unimaginable. I WOKE UP EARLY TO EAT.
and soon after that, i realised i couldnt fall asleep again.
So.. i headed down to the boy's room, namely my dad's and Adly's room, to have a chat session with the latter.
Adly is a baby in the business, someone as new as i am to the whole N21 family.
He's 21, and he is no doubt the cutest guy around.
So we had fun chatting and talking and laughing till 1pm, and then i headed back to my respective room to take a nap till the time came for us to get ready to head down to the PGRM.

Saturday night itself,
went partying!!!
KL partying is undeniably an eye-opener.
KL afterdark is wild ok.
Wilder than SG,
imagine that!

We went to Planet Hollywood at Bukit Bintang initially, and we thougth club-hopping would be fun since we started on our journey to the clubs late, at 1 am.
The whole day's been jam-packed with seminars so we only got to leave the hotel at that time to start on our clubbing spree.
Half an hour at Planet, and we decided to pay the famous Jalan Ampang a visit.
The jam on the way there was a killer man.
It ate up a good 40 minutes of our time,bitch.

So we landed at HRC, and i wasnt attracted to the place so we opted for Nuovo instead.
Happening dok.
The place has class.
Talk about a huge-ass fishtank in UV light being the main attraction, not mentioning another huge-ass gothic chandelier as mainpiece.
And the DJ console was like a king's throne.
And the DJ himself was fantastic, spinning jams that kept us pumping all night..
Nuovo, i would say, is a good spot for a music video.
Beautiful place, beautiful crowd, beautiful atmosphere.

Oh sorry, and 'us' or rather 'we' refers to Adly, myself, Mimi and Idah, 2 other hotshot clubbers who are part of the business, just like i am.

So 3 am came, and KL after that is no party anymore..
We headed outside to chill while waiting for my dad to arrive, and we saw the atrocities of KL streets afterdark- bloody dangerous place to be in.
I must say, i can handle local men when they come up to me.
But these guys, i couldn't.

A turk and a jamaican came up to me and outrightly wanted to touch my ass and lay me down.
So courageous of them, but i played my game well, and i was in safe hands.
The moment they tried touching me, i grabbed Adly and he intercepted. So i was safe, basically.
Adly is a darling ok, he watches out for me.

And then there were the street fights, and whoah was it a hell of a show to watch.
Smashed cars and running lunatics, that's KL for you.
But i must say, the pure KL guys (I mean the malay malaysian mats or rather) are really a bunch of good-lookers. Every single one of them, sported a modified car and was handsome to add to that.
They were the rich bastards living in bungalows and what nots, and they were real eye-candy.
And then there's the regular blacks from Nigeria seen everywhere. They study there, along with the common arabs.

It's all international, i daresay.

Headed down to Pelita, a hot joint for supper, something like our Spize at River Valley.
It was nice being there, seeing the afterclubbiing crowd reel in.
They are no different from us singaporeans, i must say.

Sunday 16-7-06.
Started the day with breakfast, and had the last seminar before we head back to sg.
This time, the talk given by John Herren from the US proved to be a riveting one, my heartstrings were pulled.
After the phenominal experience, we embarked on our journey back home to sg.
Reached home at 10pm, and i ended my night with a Kopitiam session with Souher and Auntie Aidah and her friend.
It was nice to be welcomed home in such a fashion, with rojak mama and prata cheese being the feast for supper.
i missed those things when i was in KL.

=)

So basically, the weekends was a bomb.
I honestly had fun out of the whole experience, with my first ever WLS and my first ever clubbing spree there.
And not to mention meeting new people and knowing new friends such as Adly. =)

Monday 17-7-06.
Met up with my sayangs Safrina and Mul at McD's whitesands, and had a nice catching-up session before i headed down town to meet Nikola.
Adib dropped by, and it was a nice surprise cos i actually dreamt of him last night, so it was sumhow like a dream come true to see him.

I had my downfall in the evening when i was having dinner at Modesto's with Nikola.
That bugger wants to marry me, his catch for bringing me to Switz.
I knew something fishy was going on. He had his cards up his sleeve, no wonder.
And i thought i was playing smart.
But he was smarter.
Idiot he.

He says that if i wanna go Switzerland and enjoy all my benefits, i have to share the bed with him.
Good things don't come free, do they?
He wants to be my husband and spoil me.
And i'm like Man, i don't need your money.
A man can't spoil me with his kaching you know, i won't be impressed.
Be Azry, and i definitly will be impressed. HAH.

So i turned down the much-anticipated trip down, but i don't regret.
I LEARN.

Men and their nasty intentions.
Fuck them!!!

##

So since i was stressed out with the idea, i headed down to Harry's where i met my lovelies ; Julie, Rizal,Nitin and Sady.
They were hearing me out, and each one of them gave me a comforting shoulder.
It's nice to know that your colleagues are concern for you and that they love you.
=)

So i decided to head down to Insomnia, another invitation by my Sayang who heard me frustratingly yelling my heart out about the cancelled trip over the phone earlier on.

Went home, got changed, and Dad, Rizal and i were on our way to meeting Julie and heading down to Insomnia.

Upon reaching there, Jason, the GM, requested for Rizal's ID.
We were close to rejection just now, but Azry came to the rescue.
And how did Rizal pay back for his kind deed?
HE STARTED BEING ALL GAY WITH MY AZRY.
How dare he.
Hahahaahaahaha..

but it was fun watching Rizal creeping the pants out of Azry.
Pure humour.

Julie is a gerek kaki i tell you, she and me just tick off so well, and we couldnt stop laughing and making fun of others..
I had so much fun with her, i must say.
Talking about men and their commitments, and she does think that i have fallen in love with Azry.
Oh and whats even more surprising is that they know each other. She used to work at Papa Joe's when Azry was working as a bouncer there..so all's good.

I missed Azry so much, that seeing his face stunned me. And im happy that Rizal respects and likes him, and he trusts Azry being with me.

There was an instance when i was walking out to the toilet, and Azry stopped me to ask where i was going..
i said i was heading to the loo, and he just smiled..
He came in a gave me a hug, and he kissed the side of my face..
and balls! i was left squealing!

The night went on, the music was better than ever.. it was electrifying.
And at the end of the night, when we were about to leave,
i approached Azry to let him know of my departure..

He kissed me on my cheeks, and surprisingly gave me a quick peck on the lips..
Jason saw that and he said 'No sex please!' and that got me cracking my ass off!!
'Put your hands where i can see you!' he yelled at Azry, of course in a joking manner..
and the two were laughing and fucking each other off..
and their bried conversation ended with Jason calling Azry a 'Chibai'.
Haha!
So cute la the two of them!

So when me and Azry came together again, this time for a proper farewell, he rubbed my tummy and kissed me on my ear.. and im sorry to sound so 'goo-goo-ga-ga' but hey, it's these little tiny things he does that makes my day..
that makes me go lightheaded.

it's as sweet as he is, and i really like that.

Upon reaching home, while i was having my shower, he texted me, letting me know that he's alright and that he was back home..
And i replied with a casual one, saying that it was nice to see him..
And he said 'It's nice to see you too.. i missed your prettyface.'

AWWWWWWWWWWW.

AZRYYYYYYYY!!!!!! I want to bite your head off!!!! geram kang!!!!!!!!

And ladies, my man has got his chest built up! His chest was swelling, and my oh my his arms were solid!
I asked him where'd he get them and i learnt that he's been going to the gym.
So this calls for my turn to lose some pounds and shed some ass,
cos if he's gonna look good, i wanna look good too.

I miss cuddling him, and that's all i can think of right now.

I'm gonna go sleep with happy thoughts now, so goodnight.

It's been a super long entry, thanks for reading. =D

Weekends at KL was a blast!!!!!!!

Will update more about it later on.
Am meeting up with my Gees at kopitiam in 5 min's time. =)

Wooooooohooooooooo.

My Child ;
Nur Ameerah

I sometimes see your smile in the passing sunshine,
But the clouds take it away.
I watch the butterflies flutter by,
But they never seem to stay.
I hold you in my arms so tight,
Then awake from my dreams.
I see you in the rear-view mirror,
But it is never what it seems.

We'll meet again in Heaven, child,
I'll take you in my embrace.
We'll smile and we'll giggle,
We will laugh and play.
I know you're looking down on me,
As I'm looking up at you.
You might not be beside me,
But you always get me through.

Are you having fun in Heaven?
Is God right by your side?
Does he play dodge-ball with you?
Does He sing you to sleep at night?
Have you friends in Heaven?
Do they play your silly games?
No hatred there in Heaven.
No bullies or pain.

I remember you every day, child,
From your feet up to your hair.
I know your eyes change color,
I know your goofy stare.
I was there when you were born,
And there when you died.
In body or in spirit, child,
I'm always by your side.

I miss my Aqil.

Going back to the memories
Reminiscing bout you and me
Thinking how it used to be
It's plain and clear I treated you bad
But babes you know that I care
Every friendship has wear and tear..
Just draw near babes and try to hear and listen what my heart says.

Many days and many nights
Many heartbreaks... many fights
Many wrongs but so many rights
So babes don't let this love die
Never meant to cause you no pain,
Babes I never meant to treat you lame.
Gimme one more chance rewind come back again.
Don't let this love die.

Just Cry Baby Cry
Cause every tear that flows falls into the ocean
And rises to the sky
And then the rain will come
Right before the sun shines...

Can you feel me reaching out to you babes, can you hear my open thoughts
Never want to disrespect you babes don't let this come break us apart.
'Cause I know I would die without you, my girl can you hear my broken heart.
It's calling out to the good times that we had back at the start.

Baby...
You know I need you in my life daily.
I was a player but now your love changed me.
I'm going crazy ... Never thought losing you would be so hard

So let go
And move on
What we were
Is now undone
My tears have all dried
It's your turn now to cry...

Last night was a blast!!

Should i say it again?

LAST NIGHT WAS A BLAST!!

hahaha...

Azry my Boooboooo......
Went to Pasir Ris Central with him to have dinner, yes...nothing too fancy cos we're both broke asses.
Had a nice time, only that i was suffocating half the time cos of the irritating blocked nose that i had.
So i wasn't having fun trying to chew my chicken porridge and digesting it. Ya! i was having chicken porridge u know, that also damn difficult to swallow down.
But Darling helped me thru with it, and that got me smiling most of the time..

So then afterwards, we headed down to Pasir Ris Park and sat under the ballet of stars..
No, not making love, but just sitting down and talking.
Talking about EVERY GOD DAMN IMAGINABLE THING.

It's nice knowing that he's of a different character entirely, but our passions are the same, and that we can talk for hours lah dey.
So we were having a nice time talking about life, and then the sky decided to pour on us..
Took shelter in a small little hut, where it was slightly darker and shadier (which was romantic) and sat down and talked again..
This time, about how to punch a guy and female self-defence.
I admire his interest in teaching me new things. I learn new things from him everytime we meet/talk. And that's refreshing, period.
It doesn't get me bored.
It's intriguing..

Then it was 2.30 am already, and his eyes were failing him. He needed to sleep, both of us did.
We got caught in the rain and we were falling sick, reason why im down with fever today.
So he signalled to go, and i stood up..

He got up, and we got close..
close enough to hug..
and we did! ahhhhhherhdgfgberqbohfphwbfhwphf~~!@!#!!

Aiiiiiii... I swear i was floating on air.. hahha..
we kissed, and we hugged.. and then we made our way to the bike.
And when he sent me upstairs to my door, which he always does,
we kissed again..

this time telling each other how much we'll miss one another especially with me being overseas the next week..
He'll actually squeeze in time on Monday or Sunday night to meet me, before i fly off to Zurich..
and he already gave me a list of things he needs me to shop for there... so kiasu.

He is my Azry, no doubt about it.
I have confessed my feelings to him, and he just smiles.
I don't expect anything out of the confessions, just letting him know that he has someone who cares, misses, and thinks about him at everytime of the day..

Like he says, he's doesn't want a commitment rite now..what matters is, who's in your heart at the end of the day.

So i shall take this slow, take this right.

I called him when i was done with work just now, and i was using my office phone, and he actually stored the number! he knew it was me. So the moment he picked up, i was greeted with " Hi darling!!!".
*Smiles

And he even saved my dad and mum's handphone number in his mobile.
I was touched by that.


And now, i need to sidetrack. I realise i've been talking about him since forever.
Well, Mira's falling, that's for sure.

And that's too tough for Mira to handle.
She hasn't felt like this since forever.

Oh my.

Anyhoos...RINA'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!
WELCOME HOME DARLING!
i missed you..ok?
and yes, we met up the same night she got back..

small-scale girlfriend talk/bitch/catching-up/gossip session..

and woah did i miss that.

And her party, this coming Sunday at Beaufort Villa, i wouldn't miss it for the world.
You hear that babe? I wouldn't miss it for the world.
And sorry i couldn't call you to wish you, been busy the whole day..
so let me take this chance to let you know how much you mean to me, how much i've missed you, and how much i've seen you grown..

Azean Azrina Alias, Happy 18th Birthday. May God truly bless you, and may your wishes come true.

To the ones i love,
take care and goodnight.
To the ones i loved ;
you're not forgotten.

*Wany, Diy, Imran,Skye- i miss all of you, I miss us.

Afez sent me 2 videos online just now, which were videos of my party at Conrad.
Aw, i miss that night..i really do.

I really did have do much fun you know, especially when the girls were with me, it felt so right..

I bet Safwah's shocked to see her bf's name come first in this blog entry. HAHA.

Copy and paste onto new window, ok? Ok.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKX74f6UOcc

This one's with me getting the cake ready.. (Note: Azean's name was mentioned. That was how much i wished she was there.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7_gJf5cj4w

And this one's with me being so excited about turning 18. HAH!

Go check it out, people.

And the video quality ain't that bad you know, the room looked super nice (it was, ok.) in the clips. And yes, notice the view? aaaargh!





I was gonna kill the cake.

##

That was the last day of my life then.
And i miss my life then.

I'm a new me, now.

##

Not asleep at 3.11 am cos i miss my computer and what i can do with it.
It's been ages since i sorted out online files and clips, and i think tonite's a good nite cos im not as tired as ever.
The weekends spent at DB really zapped my energy.

And tmr im on off cos my Baby Azry wants to meet me and spend time with me before i go KL and fly off to Zurich consecutively.
And Nisa my girl, thanks alot for the advice, i'll take it in. Don't worry, i'll play my game well.
I don't wanna get hurt in the end.

Because i know, if anyone's to get hurt, it'll be me. So i won't let that happen, not for now.

Let me sidetrack.

2 days ago, Azry and Bam were at Changi beach slacking cos of the downpour. Usually, when it rains,they aren't allowed to patrol..so them being the hungry bastards that they are, requested me to send food to them.
So mum sent me there, and story cut short, she met him. Azry salam my mum, and they exchanged a word or two.

So i thought, hey, things arent that bad after all.

But but,

Mum didnt speak to me about it until just now.
Mind you, she just finished her prayers and she sat me down to tell me this ;

Mum: Meer, come here.
Me: Yes?

Mum: Are you serious with Azry?
Me: (Obviously shocked) Not really.. we're just dating. Why?

Mum: Don't give in, not this time around, ok? Mak don't see good.
Me: What u mean?

Mum: I don't know why, but i have a hunch when i see him.
Me: You do, huh? so it's bad?

Mum: i can't explain it, but Mak feels that he's too smart.
Me: As in..? cynical-cunning kinda smart?

Mum: Not cynical-cunning, nothing bad, just that he's too smart for you. I can't really figure it all out, but just know that i have a hunch.
Me: That's sad..

Mum: Meer, don't think you're so matured ok. You're still my baby.
Me: (Smiling and realising) Thanks Mak.

##

You see? That's not good, you know. All this hunching. Maybe cos it's the first time im actually seriously dating a guy 11 years older than me. Maybe the parentals are just freaked out? you tell me.
And when i told Dad of the conversation, he agreed with Mum.
He said there's something mysterious about Azry. About how everything's coming about between me and him.
He just cant figure this bugger out.
Dad feels that Azry's gonna be another heartbreaker.
And he's telling me that this whole ride needs time.
LOTS OF IT.

And im telling him, and myself, relax.
I got it.
I know my game, thank you.

I can't help but agreeing to my parents. For once, im trusting my mother on this. I wanna see what's about to unfold.
If time is what i have, i'll use it.
It's sad that this is how Azry crosses to my parents, and i can't help but think twice about him.

But on the contrary, i know him to be a simple-minded guy. So simple, sometimes us complexed people cant understand him.
I never said he was a good person, you know.
He never was.
I just like his guts.
That's what made me attracted.
His guts, his philosophy on life.

We're 2 different people, i tell ya.

##

Oh whack, what a day.
And i feel like i'm murdering myself.

Gotta go get the rest that i need.

Goodnite, Gee.

Squeezing in time to update before i zoom off to work in 12 mins' time. =D

Hairul, what's up on the 15th lah dey? I hope Rina comes back soon... i miss my girlfriend!

And oh, im suddenly facing a technical fault in my brain.

Oh yes,
ITALY WON!

i was hoping for France to win, with my delicious Thierry Henry playing, but i just knew that somehow the super hot Italians were just gonna win..

Devil's Bar last night was magnifico.
It was a different atmosphere..we were all hoping to groove while watching the game, but noooo.
Hamid's sound system was down, so they switched on commentary instead, and everyone was standing for a good 120 minutes watching the game..

The people around me and Rizal were a fun bunch, being so noisy at watching soccer.
The guy named Hafiz who shared the same space on the table as me was telling me how i'll regret supporting the Frenchmen. And indeed, he was right.
Embarrassing lah France.

Bumped into so many people..the bartender at Cheekys, Isham, Rinadia..you name it.
All the poeple from my previous life.

Ex-siglapians like Safwan and Ayam were there too..

Party on Saturday was at Insomnia with Dad and then at DB with Nirra,Danial and Rizal.
Dropped by Insomnia and i met my sweet Azry..he was shocked and he was happy to see me.
Dad noticed that he kept glancing at me whenever i spoke to a drunk ang moh.
There was this Scottish guy who was speaking to me, and Dad saw Azry looking straight at him, trying to burn a hole in his face or something, HAHAHA.
so cute!

Oh ya and party was fun! DB on saturday was happening. By far one of the best parties i've had in months.
I was in the mood lah, to dance. to pump and groove. and Nirra is sucha hottie on the dancefloor! Surprisingly we complement each other well when dancing.
Besides that, dancing with her brother, Danial, was even more fun cos we were like 2 normal ppl among the M&Ms in the middle of the dancefloor having so much fun..laughing and immitating the Mats there..haha! i wanna do it again baby!
The best part was we didnt drink, not one sip. and i got to convince those friends of mine that u dont have to have alcohol in ur blood to have so much fun..it's all about MIND OVER MATTER DUDE.

any yes, i need to go off now. sempat siak this bitch.

Feeling so fresh and so clean, but when i think back, damn! i'm working full shift tomoro!

Haiya.

Which means..

..i can't wake up late.Gotta be at work by noon.

You know ah, waking up late is by far one of my most favourite things in the world.
I LOVE WAKING UP LATE.

and i can go real late.
Like just now, i woke up at 5.50pm.
Was late for work, but hey! it was worth it. Don't ask my why. hahah.

Last night was party at DB for me, it was Arif's 21st birthday and Crystal threw a party for him.I came by, but i wasn't partying much. If you call sitting down, smoking/watching people have fun/ laughing at people who can't dance for nuts partying, then i say heyyy..that's what i got from last night.

Was so shacked, i swear. and so the reason why i spent my Friday afternoon sleeping like a bull.

I slept like a bull, no kidding.

I even wrote on a piece of paper, in black marker ink, saying " DO NOT DISTURB. I'M SLEEPING LIKE A BULL." and pasted it onto my bedframe in hopes of uninteruppted sleep.

=)

But that didn't stop the parents from trying to wake me up to go to work.

=(

Anyhoos.

I'm watching the 3rd-4th placing game at Insomnia tomoro with Dad, Souher and Auntie Aida.
We need to unwind you know. Yes, we working people.
At the end of the week, just sit back and relax.

Shooting off to KL next weekend with Dad for the seminar and of course, we've planned on going Zouk KL on Saturday night with Mimi and the gang. Power dok!
I'm thinking of asking Adib and Hakim to tag along, cos they did invite me and Dad to go KL one night with them to check out Hard Rock KL. According to Hakim who's gone there, it's really happening.

Zouk KL, here we come.

and then..

after the weekends at KL, i'm flying off to Zurich for a week with Dad.

No pipeline hopes, please Nikola.

Azry and me have lost contact for 2 days since i have been handphone-less
(again) and he's been so fucking-ass busy with work and sleepless nights.

Sigh.

Things should look better for me in a few days to come.

Spoke to Mom and Dad about my future plans, and they seem intrigued in it.

Mom...is actually very grateful for that 'leap of faith' i had..
and Dad...is happy for me. His eldest daughter is growing up..thinking about herself more for now, than when she used to be thinking about others all the time.

You see? that's the problem with me. I get so selfless sometimes.
I think about others all the time, i forget to think about myself..
In life so far, i'm so used to sharing myself. Sharing a part of me..and now, who do i share it with?
Nobody. I don't wanna sound pathetic, but it's a good thing.
To find my footing in the woman i wanna be.
No, not to find. I've found, just to discover further.
God knows who i'd be in 5 year's time. But it's up to me now to decide and excecute it.

Easier said than done, bitch.

But hey, i'm up for it. If it means a change in attitude, count me in.

Seriously, i neeeed to revamp on my attitude.
I ain't perfect either, i have my flaws.
Attitude is in a sense, my reactions to situations, my perspectives on life and so forth. How i actually really think about others, i gotta come clean with myself about it, maaan.

Nitin and Rizal did the most sweetest things for me just now. I realise huh, that i have a really nice circle of friends i don't wanna trade with anything in the world.
They are more than just colleagues, they are my careguys. they really really care for me, and it was shown just now.
They made me cry, mind you, but at the end of it, both were there to wipe away the tears..
what happened was this guy wanted to ask me out and both had a bad feeling agianst the guy..
and they were even more pissed knowing that i said yes to him, and both snapped infront of me lah!
So touching.
HAH.

and they started explaining how much i mean to them, and how much it means to them to see me doing the right things..playing my games smart.. and so on.
I love these two. More than just colleagues, they're the guys i know i can rely on.

I used to think Imran was it. Imran, was inevitably my careguy. A friend who'd be there for me as a loving opposite, someone who'd take my back when need be. But after what's done, i cant think like that no more, cos the trust is gone.
Imagine, a lifetime of trust vapourising in split seconds.

Maybe it will come back, maybe not. And i don't want to care anymore.If me and Imran were to be friends again, i say..it might be quite tough.
But for me and Diy?
No, i don't think so.
Because i can't be there for her anymore, i've washed my hands clean.
Like when i told her she was insecure and all that, i didn't find pleasure in doing it.
It's just for her own good. And i know she knows that too.
That she doesnt think hard enough before she does things or whatsoever, noone's to be blamed but she. But let's not blame anyone for now, shall we? It's up to the individual.
If there's ever another person who can understand and accepet her the way i (or Wany) couldn't then i'd be more than happy for her.
Cos at the end of the day, she has to face her own battle too. And in order to fight, she has to strengthen herself..condition herself to such attacks.

Life isn't very hard.
You don't have to please others.
At the end of the day, just don't put your parents down.

And yes, i have told my father everything that's happened. From what happened to the chalet to that in the hotel room, and he's not very pleased either.
And like i said, i didn't wanna do it, but i felt that i had to.
He feels very, very betrayed.

I thank you for the friendship we had over the past one and a half year, it was good while it lasted. Had it's ups and downs, but none of us expected this.
Now that the damage is done, all we can do is just hope for the best for each other. We've taken seperate paths now, and i bid you my farewell.
Good luck,my friends.

##

On a happier note, i'm actually happy with my life now. Less worries, a load of burden off my chest/tummy/shoulders/ASS.
Whatever i do now, is for my own benefit.
Fuck, sounds so selfish.
I mean yeah..in a good way that is.
I am going to do things in life i've never done before. If not now, when else, right?
And about the heart to heart talk with my mum last night, yes i believe that God has given me his grace.
I am changed after all this.

I'm not a girl no more, i'm a young lady.
I am becoming a woman of my own.
Because i'm worth it.
(insert : L'Oreal/Maybelline heading.)

Aaaanyhoooos. i don't wanna bore you with the most random shits i can ever bore you with, but i miss HAIRUL SAHRIL BIN FUZARI and AZEAN AZRINA ALIAS.
when can we go starbucking-burgerkinging againnnn???

Oh, i miss being carefree and innocent.
I miss falling for young men.
Now, i see them as boys.
Sad, but true.
I like men, especially men like my darling booboo sayang Azry.
Hah! menyampah!

Azryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss you, you son-of-a-beach!!
Boy, if you know you're worth it, you gotta please me.
I'm in need of some TLC, baby!

Tonight, i've made many realisations in life.
And one would be ;

Alcohol toys with lives.

Think about it.

Those words kept playing in my head when i was about to fall asleep, the very reason why im typing all this down.

The statement i just made, would be agreeable to some, and ignorant to others.
I have come to a certain conclusion to safely say that yes, Alcohol does ruin lives.
It blinds the heart. And most importantly, all muslims should know that it's against our so called principles.

And you know, i am a person with very high morales myself. Yes, i am liberal and i can go wild all night. BUT. i do stick by my dignity and my own traditional values.

My birthday lunch went well, my thank yous to those who turn up and to those who didn't, you weren't forgotten. I'm just glad that everyone was happy.
And let's just say that i'd like to end it here cos the rest of the night was disastrous. And i shan't pour out the bad details, then that's just gonna spoil the whole agenda, no?

Let's skip tha part where i had to go (bad) partying, and then proceed onto the rest of the morning i had with Azry.

He is my sweetheart, but as Harry says, i should play my game a little bit more tough.
And as Nisa says, i should 'maz the man out'. Good choice of words, my loves.

We had a bubble bath which i intially planned for and ended up having him doing all the bubble work, and we just rested in each other's arms the entire time..
made love, and had a romantic breakfast at the high-class tiffin room.
Crashed on our king-sized bed till afternoon, snoring away..side by side.
what more could i ask for?

It was all i ever needed the whole night, and he topped it off with the sweet whip cream that he is.
But of course, everything's lovey-dovey and sweet in the beginning, agree?
That's why..i've decided to start playing my game smart.
I'm not gonna be the go-getter in this one.
Screw 'If you really want something in life, you gotta go for it' for now. If it's not meant to be, i have nothing to lose.
If it'll work out, then im not gonna be the man in this.

I'll stick by my Lady Luck. =)

I've also realised that some people make mistakes for me to open up my eyes.
Yes of course, everyone makes mistakes. And ALL mistakes are forgivable. I do believe in that, you know.Just that after what's happened, i know who to stick by and who not to. I know my true friends well now.
People come and go in your life, even in a blink of an eye.

I'm a changed person after all this, you know what i mean? and i thank you for letting it happen, to give me a reason to go...

to give me a jump start on the life im about to lead, a healthier and better one indeed.

Cos i believe, when a person hurts u so bad, it's a sign.
Either this, or that.
Simple.

And i've taken my step. My step, is to step OUT.
We're just colleagues now, and that's all that's to matter. Nothing more, nothing less.

People make mistakes, and it's up to you to take it in.
I've taken it in this way.

*And you know what, i suddenly appreciate a certain someone, because i know atleast she won't do such a thing. She's never, and i belif, never would do such a thing you did that night.
Oh for the love of God.

I'm getting tired going round in circles with my words, just so you know i have to work tmr.
I'm contented being this way, thank you.

Goodnight my lovelies.