our seventh month..and counting.

not defunct. as yet.

fiskus

solo

lonely

sharing my life with you

Salaam

a few good reads.

what women want.

some's up

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

December 2008

June 2009

Many things have been going on in my life.

And it's no rainbow nor butterfly.

I'm in a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions, simply said, i'm growing up. Waaay to fast.

Things have been bugging me,and i must admit that i don't like problems left hanging.Issues to be cleared, should be voiced out and cleared asap to avoid further problems..i don't know why it's still h a n g i n g .

The voice deep in me just wants to escape, run away... but my armor tells me to fight. It's my battle eventually, and i'll be my own man standing..

What have i been searching for, these past few days? am i taking the days by day or am i locomoting into something good in the near future...?

My heart tells me to keep peace and my mind is at war. The life's a battlefield now, men injured by the thousands.

Memories were too painful to keep, and it comes flushing into my valleys..

This is not good, but this is growing up.

I shall then learn to foster this lifestyle.

What is clubbing? a mere excuse for fun? FUCK THAT.
every clubbing experience isn't a good one, by the way. I've seen the calamaties hidden underneath.

And spending time with your friends..your truest, most loyal friends..what does that mean? do i really appreciate it's grace? damn right i do..nothing in the world beats knowing the fact that you have true friends. NOTHING.

And the family? i don't wanna lose them. right now, i'm losing the parents...

When was the last time that i felt carefree and innocent? oh, that was waaay back.
When was the last time i fell in love? That goes way back too..
When was the last time i saw Rina? WAAAAY BACK.

You see, maybe i'll get over this ibby-jibby. It's just another phase i have to go through..yeah.

Someone, please hit the beach with me. i need it.NOW.

Mira's Love.

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorableEven a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's lifeBy giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

....very, very true.



(I watched over as they spoke.)


A: I feel that you're a person with a split personality, each retaliating against another.
B: What do you mean? i have been like this all the while what.What are you talking about?

A:You claim to be the person you speak of, only to have your actions speak a different truth about you.I am shocked to uncover that.
B: Oh please, you're just assuming things. You're just judging me and jumping into conclusions. I am not who you think i am.

A: Is it? Am i not right? So this person that you are... you've been like this all this while?
B: Yah! all this while what. Why, why now then complain and point it out?

A: Because i realised. Because i saw. And it urks me to see you like that. It ain't eye candy.
B: Go ahead then. Say all you want. Say whatever you want. This is my battle, i fight on my own.

A: But how can you say that? Am i nobody to you?
B: How can i say that? Of course i can, it's MY LIFE. Besides, how could you, of all people, think of me in such a manner? Ever thought of that? Huh?

A: Because I Love You. and i care. and i don't want you to be empty and voidless. Ever thought of that?
B: Hey, if this is my own way of unwinding and taking in fresh air, you are in no position to restrict me.

A: I am not restricting you. I just want you to realise that this isn't the right way. And it's definitely not the ONLY way.
B: It's my life, and it's now or never. I can handle my own affairs. And i don't need you to tell me what to do, or restrict me from doing things i enjoy, when i never interfered in yours.

A: And you call yourself a friend? just coz you don't interfere in my personal life, it doesn't make you a good friend. Where were you when i needed a critic to tell me what's right or wrong? You just looked from afar. You didn't point out my mistakes, coz why? You didnt wanna interfere in my personal issues. And you call yourself a friend?
Fine, be it that way.
B: Let me be. I am sick and tired of you turning your back against me in times like these.You have no idea what i go through. You thought you knew, but you are damn wrong. Coz you're not in my shoes.

A: You know, if you think that what you're going through is THE HEAVIEST BURDEN EVER, well think again my dear. Try going for an abortion, only to see your parents fight almost all the time. Try having to lose someone you love so dear leave you. Try seeing your parents agree on a divorce. You failed to understand that people have their own battles to fight,too. It's how they go about fighting it.

I have all the many reasons to go down the drain, but no. I made sure i'm a BETTER person after all this. I made sure that i'm not empty. After all that i've been through, i didn't complain. I became a stronger person, and that's not by chance. I didn't wanna make myself feel that i should regret over the abortion or whatsoever, i made sure i learnt from it. I wanna make sure that i'll grow up good. The rest of my teenhood should be satisfying, and not wasted.

Most importantly, i know how to get through. I know how to go about finding strength, and standing up tall even when my heart crumbles. I know i have friends. Friends who love me, friends who i can seek refuge or solitude in at anytime. And most importantly, i love my mother. I love her so much, it makes me wanna cry sometimes. And i know the value of a dollar and how scarce money is to everyone right now.

Simply said, i understand, appreciate and i hold faith upon myself.

B: I have nothing else to say.

A: Nothing else? what should you be saying? You won't realise the extent of damage you've caused to yourself and to me until it's too late. I'm sorry, but that's how it's gonna be. All i ever wanted you to do, is to think twice before you did anything. Take me as an example. I'm sure you don't wanna share the same pit with me, it's no fairytale i tell you. All i wanted you to do is to open up your eyes and realise that there is more ways than one to tackle harship.

B: I'm happy the way i am and that's that. I don't need people like you to be preaching to me. It's final, let me be.

A: Alright, i take that at face value. So don't you dare tell me that you're an adult. Coz what you just said, it sounded so teenage. That's it, you're still a teenager finding your own lease in life.
B: Whatever.

And they parted ways in fury. 'A' had a stick of cigarette while 'B' on the way home.

It was an eye opener.

It was something i needed, very very much. And i realise that A was a reflection of myself. How ironic.

The day was good. I'm happy that i went out just now. It was me, Diy and that Yan Earship. Funny thing was, i THOUGHT i'd totally turned-off.He did get quite lame almost ALL the time.Of course i did lah, but he was a good listener, i admit. And i talk alot so yeah.

Town was always the same, and it still is the way it is when i paid it a visit just now. Poured like London and it was suche bad-ass day to be chilling out. Should have been at home sleeping or bumming or something. But NOOOOOO i just HAD to meet Diy and His Earship. Ngiah.

Had my jambol up like a horn just now, and i kinda liked the unique feeling i possessed due to my hair. I know, damn cheap of me. *Silly grin.
You guys ever noticed the men who whistle (irritatingly) in the name of traffic control at the crossing between Hyatt Hotel and Far East Plaza? Yeah, them. Baaaahhstards they were. 'Whistling' at both me and Diy. GATAL. idiots. mofuckers. go do your stinking paryah job lah!

If you haven't known till now, Mira grew up to become an unfriendly sight. I am very cautious but once i've passed that, you wouldn't regret knowing me. *Silly grin.

And the day wouldn't be a day, if Imran hadn't come down alllll the way from Stagmont Camp. Sounds alien to me as well, i know. So there he was, reaking of army odour and dresses in jungle green, trotting down town to meet Diy,myself and get this: That earship Yan who doesn't have a clean/decent/friendly/GOOD history with Imran. No, they weren't gaaaaay. They were just vying for the same girl.(Diy). Imran was the boyfriend and Yan was the guy who thought he could be a better boyfriend. Geddit? Hahah. Like those soap operas you watch on Star World, yeah. Like that lah.

So things got a little uncomfy, but then the silent tension eased when i started immitating my fren Mel going all 'riiiiiiiiiitttte' and whatsoever, leaving the guys and girl in fits. That's Mira for you.
Then after all that laughing and joking and what nots, Yan left for MOS, and we headed down to Hilton where Daddy came picking us up.

I think my butt's getting big. Imran kinda said something about it. Lack of you-know-what lah. Not that i need any right now, i'd prolly opt for exercise. (yeah riiiiiiiitttte.)

So people. I wanna go sleep now. And Dad said somethings pertaining the situation my frens and i are in now. He advices to be 'adult' about it. So here we are, being adults. You know, maybe that's why i grow up too fast. My dad's always telling me to be 'adult' about things until i forget to become a normal teenager. I'm turning 18 lah for goodness' sake. Only 18??!?!?!

Haiyo.

And oh, i miss my Lutfiatonton Bacencon so much. We call him that coz gurrrrrrrrl, he can be THE cutest guy alive, but he ain't the smartest. Hahah. And you know, we can only be friends. I can't see having a bf like him. And i had this small thought racing thru my mind just now. I wanna try being single for a year. I wanna know how that'll feel. If it will kill me one day. Certainly, i won't turn suicidal. I just wanna test my limits.
Cos, (warning : I'm gonna get a lil emo here) i really have to agree with what Imran said that night. He says that i am still in search/yearn/crave for the man who'll immasculate(sp?) me.The very same man, who'll take up that manly void i have, and make me the woman i never was, and will be. Oh my God i dunno what the hell im talking about.
Then again if i do find that man who's gonna fill up this void, i'd probably turn into a very subtle human being. But come to think of it i am naturally domineering and aggresive,territorial and strict. So yeah. I dunno, you decide.
Forget it.
Just to pepper this,
I cried just now (sucha wuss, i know) as i listened to the REGGAETON song 'Yo Voy' coz it reminded me of Mexico Night. That was the best party i had man..all of us were so happy to be with each other that night, no fuss, no worries. And now, it gets all too complicated.

I wanna sleep now, and dream on the single life i'm about to venture on, especially knowing that i WILL be single for loooong.

Take care my loyal reader.
Resident bitch out and away.

Who would write sucha long entry just to make a stand?
What the fuck. She could have saved all that knuckle energy into some very useful verbal vomit.
When asked to confront the matter,sit down and listen or talk out about the issue like the fine young ladies that we are, she retreats, back into the same shell she sits in.

I do not want to waste my time on such people anymore lah. Eh Wany, you should know me better. Suit yourself if you want to have it this way.

I was expecting some woman power la, seriously. Like they say, if a man had balls, he'd stand up and come by the issue in a respectful manner. Yes. Ignorance brings you nowhere,you know. She's been an egoistic person since the very beginning, and it's that ego that's gonna make her lose us. I guess that's fine with her, as long as she's happy riiite.

I wanna add that some things she said, was very much exaggerated. Make me sound like some makcik kepo padahal im her close friend sia. People, think about this : Who else in the world would come up 100% honest with you, and still cared for a solution to the problem? Your girlfriends. Seriously. If there's something they'd like to say...then you should know it's out of care and concern. Unless your girlfriends are bitches lah, then that would make you one too, since your mingling with them.

But nonetheless, i find this very stupid and ridiculous, to blog about this.When i can speak(or shout/scream/slap/yank hair) out my mind to her, make things a clearer view, and make all this scuffle stop. But neh, it seems the other party just has no time.It's sucha sickening reply, you know? Who you tryna bullshit, you know? I wasn't born yesterday.

Anyways dear friend,
Diy and me are exhausted in our attempts to reconcile. We're fucking it in the anal now, and we shan't care less anymore. So good luck eh! All the best! Gi enjoy lah sampai mampos.

Too crude, i know. But that's just how i'd put it. This is, inevitably Mira.

On the contrary, the day has been good..
Was raining cats,dogs,snakes and lizards.My whole room kena rain..coz my darling mother was too lazy to close my windows for me while i was bathing..

And and and,
I slacked the whole day with Imran at his place, where his very hospitable siblings entertained me..and then Diy joined us at night, and we were on big happy family. Of course, i was his second wife. HAHA.
We still going ahead with the Tioman trip, we're still gonna rock Tioman.

And i wanna wish Nisa my darling all the best in clincing what she wants most in life right now.

And i am a very tired and mosquito-bitten-all-over person. I wanna go do some smokes, relinquish the pain, and probably, just move on in life.

Oh, and just a fuel for thought,
Did you ever have a true female friend? Ever wondered why Aisyah did the same? or...maybe why the females in school back then were so mean? Maybe, and just maybe, you should think about that. About why not many girls can take you to be so true. And oh, and why me and Diy were never introduced to Farna, even though u and her were so close? Does Farna really know how it is to have a friend like you, be so close with you, see you through good times and bad? Does Farna really know who you are?
Yeah, i kinda wonder, why you never had a true friend.Why people in your life come and go. Not for God to punish, but you, see for you to prolly wake up and look at yourself in the mirror. Coz most certainly, Diy and i have. And we're no longer the menacing scum bags you described us to be. Noooo. we're more than that.

We've grown up. Alongside. Together.Didn't you see? where were you?

Oh wells. Too many questions, so little time. Don't bother.

It's sad, people come and go.

It's the fun we had that night.
It was us five.
Us five.

Enjoy,enjoy-ed.


Brian managed to slot himself in for this shot..


At the alfresco Red Cafe..waiting for 3 am.. It's Safwah,Atikah,Nurul,Safrina and myself.


Post-devils. See how smug and tired Mul looks.


Mul,Crys,Saf,Mira,Tika.The five of us again, just like it used to be in 2004. (ok this time without that Alinda woman.)

It was fun, i tell ya. And thanks to Crystal darling for bringing along that cam and snapping the last few shots before her batt went flat on her..

Anyways,

these past few afternooons have been raining so bad eh..wonder whats going on..on a happier note, Baby Nora came by to Singapore. Kak Fida and her husband are ever so happy..and her baby is beautiful. They flew in from Amsterdam on a 12-hour long flight. Will be having a family gathering soon, and i'll snap fotos of that baby k. and i found out her really long name - Norafidah Hortensius Baashah. She's half Belgian and half Indian.
So go figure.

Gotta go ya'll.
Tc.
xoxo Mira.

I should be gone for awhile.

Be back by the end of the week.

I got piles of stuff to do, lots of things to sort out.

**

And to some people who's lives revolve around the nightlife and glamour, i say it's worthless.
Coz the nightlife, if not handled properly, WILL change a person and it's the nightlife that will stop you from doing the things you wanna do, and make you lose people that you love.
I say she's lost her substance.
Men-indulgence+Money-spending+Crazy nightlife = WRECK.

What has my friend become.
At the very realisation,she shuns away from those who truly care for her ; she doesn't budge to save herself and her friends.
Ties have been damaged,
Respect's lost.
I question her integrity, her substance, and her truest woman's worthy.

And she loses herself to the life she pretends to live in.
A person, who was once passionate about life, is now not passionate at all..

Mas Wany i hope you're happy in this life now.
You failed to see the writtings on the wall.



I'm about to do something outrageous today. Something so so unthinkable, that when i speak of it, i set the minds on fire.
I'm doing something new, a thing i've never done before. A virgin entry.Yes.Tonight, they're losing their virginity to the Devil.

##

I'm pretty much excited about what's gonna happen tonight. I've never been to that place without either Wany,Diy or Imran (or anyone experienced for that matter).
I just hope i bump into the usual lot of people, tho Zul and Ali don't really frequent that place much often anymore.
And i really really really hope that Hakim's gonna be there. At least i'll feel somewhat at ease. I kinda miss that bugger, seeing his face and getting all ibbie-jibbie about it.

##

I cooked today. Sardine in tomato puree. easy thing, i know. but it was delicious, tho now my mouth stinks of that fish.And mom's long-time friends are here for a visit.I have been good, i think.
And dad just laughed at the fact that i'm gonna do that THING tonight. He says it's gonna rain thunderstorms tmr.

Big laughs!

take care ya'll. i hope i can smoke in the company of them.

Sorry to those going Tioman with me.

Because of the 'shoulder period', staying at Minang Cove Resort will burn a huge hole in our pockets.

So because of this unjust,
I've made yet another meticulous cyber journey in search of the next best accomodation.

And...
i have come to Panuba Inn.
It's directly North of where we're supposed to head, and it's great coz then at least we'll get to cross the island.

check it out if you don't think my reseach is good enough, coz any resort Mira mentions is worth mentioning coz Mira is the picky one. (especially about the toilets.)

www.panubainn.com

Anyways. It'll be a better stay cos then it's gonna save us alot on accomodation money.

Say,you'll prolly be bringing...S$400?

So let me calculate that for ya :

S$400 --- RM 903 (exchange rate is about 2.28)

Two nights' stay at Panuba Inn per person = RM 98
One nights' stay at Japamala per person = RM 295

In total ; RM 393.

RM 903-RM 393 = RM 510.

Oh my gawwwd that's more than enough. So that means we can bring lower our budget.

And that's good news ya'll!!

I have two friends who are so alike.
So different, yet so alike.

They come from different walks,
And speak two different talks,

But still are so very alike.

She hates the other,
the other hates she.
they despise of each other's feminity.

they can bitch all they want,
in the end it's them,
them who are being condemned.

the first one says, she's smarter than her.
the latter disagrees but doesn't bother.

she lets time tell, and surface it all.
the agonising truth to be broken down from inside the wall.
in the end she's like her,
only more pretti-er.

and still she indulges in all those men.
living a life, empty in pretence.
to fill up this void, what does it take?
friends and family, maybe heartache?

she denies the daunting fact of that matter.
for it is she, who by far is smarter than the latter.
she's holding on,losing her grip.
she will know soon , that she's gonna trip.

dwelling in the past, she fails to last.
last in the cruel race, where she's to move fast.

her substance, her integrity.
and her truest humanity,
all to be questioned
by her own woman's worthy.

stand up on those feet, and she cries out.
she's gonna fall soon, without a doubt.
her ego crumbles, avalanching their way.
making her life more painful,with each passing day.

she struck this upon herself,
YOU know that's without a question.
things could have been different,
and that's fact,not fiction.

so here i am speaking of those two,
but in particular the smarter one, if YOU know who.
she's high up in clouds, she fails to look.
the familiar handwritting written in the book.


6.44 am

JapaMala Resorts say,

"Dear Ms. Nur,
Greetings from JapaMala Resort, Tioman, Malaysia.

We are delighted to learn of your kind interest in our resort. We do not have any packages to offer. The room on your requested dates are RM 450 nett per room per night. You will need three rooms in order to accommodate 6 persons.(Mira says: DUH.)

Kindly send us an email to confirm your accepting this offer. Please be informed that prior to receiving your confirmation, the room remains open for booking.
For further queries, please feel free to contact us again.
Looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you.

Sincerely yours, Andy Ng JapaMala Resort, Tioman
MALAYSIA Tel: +609-419 6001
Fax: +609-419 6002
E-mail: reservations@japamalaresorts.com Website:

then...Minang Cove Resorts says,

www.berjaya-air.com

From Tioman Airport we will arrange transport for you direct to Minang cove. It takes 30 minutes from Airport to the resort.

For traveling from Mersing we will arrange boat transfer for you to the resort. Speed boat transfer is RM 45.00 per adult and RM 40.00 per child, from Tioman Airport or Mersing to our resort, one way.

To confirm this reservation we require a deposit of 50%, which you can pay by credit card. Please send your card number, expiry date and 3 digit security code on the back of the card. Visa or Master only. ASAP.

Look forward to your reply,
Best regards,
Ifa

www.minangcove.com"

I am a very very very bad student. Kana tendang pon cantek. I hope i can finish up my assigments on time.

Anyways.

It's a thursday night and also the eve of Good Friday. So i suppose it's party everywhere eh. Had my doze last night. must say, it was shitty.

i seriously cant take the crowd in DB any longer. Ashraff suggests me switching to Living Room instead, so i'm thinking of checking out the place quite soon. Say, when my REAL holidays are here. they don't check for id nor do they charge the cover. You just enter and have your first drink. So i'd be wise to go there with money.

For now, Diy and me have termed Imran with yat another nickname.Guess what this one is. He had some army training in the jungles of Sembawang a few days ago, and he got bitten by the ruthless mosquitoes alll over. So now, we call him Mosquito Man.

Yeah balls!

Met up with him just now, had a good chat session over cigarettes about our trip to Tioman this coming July and about every other thing else. About how i am a man of myself and how the new guys in my life are just plain BULLSHIT.
eg. Remie,Epul....etc.

Don't get me wrong. It's not Epul from Glitched. It's another Epul from the land of Mats, a guy i regrettingly agreed to 'make friends with' at DB. it proved to be suicidal.
And i must add that Hakim, Adib's good friend and a fellow clubber at DB, looks exactlyyyyy like Sabiq. Yes, that asshole of an ex-boyfriend. The one who should have been behind bars for his inhumanity.
And it's all good now. Coz Hakim looks exactly like him,hair,posture and all.That freak of nature.

Alrightee.
I think i should be going off now, to bed.
Goodnight.

Thinking of making Khai a birthday present.
Given me and Diy, we can do anything with about everything.
Its Khai's 18th next week on the 24th, and i feel that i play an important part in making her feel 'legal'.

Gawd, when was the last time i met herrrr?

anyhooos.

tonight's ladies nite. and im thinking, it's a night i may get my ass drunk. and is that what i need right now? oh i don't know. but i know i need a rush of some kinda adrenaline. it's either inhalant abuse, or getting drunk.

and then i have tons (okay,seven.) assignments to complete.

Right.

ok at least i have bought the fucking Sun Wukong book. so that's half the battle won.
and then now i just gotta start drawing like nobody's gonna stop me.

I hate this.

I have been a bad student.
I can't get my ass up in the morning to go to school.
I procrastinate alllotttt.
I don't feel guilty not going to school.
I have skipped 3 days of school and still got the cheek to smile.

I have that sudden urge to go clubbing tonight, since it's ladies night.

FREE FLOW OF DRINKS TILL 6 AM.

Then again,i'm thinking. i neeeed to go to school tmr. how am i going to school after a night of partying. will i be able to do it?
can i do it?
shit.

sometimes i wished i don't have to think.
....just DO it.
yes, without thinking.

coz thinking's so difficult. and now i may seem mindless to you.

that's coz i am random and very very ****able right now. i need **x.

OMFG did i just say that?

It's 7.07 am on Sunday morning and Mira just finished a night of clubbing.
Mira is shacked, very drained out after all that dancing and pumped up adrenaline.
Mira doesn't like to accept nonsense now, as she watches Channel News Asia and blogs at the same time.
Her attention is then reverted to Lola....

Of course, she's at her friend Wany's house,since it's empty.

It's a nice sunday morning.

So nice, she wished she was snuggling up in a fluffy bed beside her man.
Unfortunately, we all know that Mira has no man. She is her man herself. She's sleepy and oh so... so-so.

And speaking of which, she got good response from both Adib and Lutfi about going to Tioman. She's happy the least, to know that she wont be going there without a partner after all.=)

now,smile for her lah at least.

And she notices that Lola's been prancing around like a mad cat.

And Wany's complaining about work, about not being able to go.

Alright. So now Mira realises that her body's telling her that she's tired and that YOU have to stop reading. so stop.

bye bye.

A good shower is always the best remedy after a long day or a long week. Yep, i got that one right. I ended my looong day with a nice cooling shower, just to freshen up. And i love the way my hair and my skin smells right now. Like a baby.

Anyhoos.

Had a nice evening with the ladies, dropped by at Wany's and accompanied her for her driving lesson where we met up with Diy. Us being girls and ALWAYS hungry, stopped by at the 24-hour kedai kopi near McD at Bedok Reservoir, where we then met up with Adib.

I must admit that i kinda think wrong about him. Thinking that he was an immature and irritating peciment, he's proven me wrong by kindly dropping by with us at the kedai kopi just to share more laughs.He was supposed to meet his friends at Simpang at 11, but stayed with us till 11.20.And when he gestured to leave, he had this 'i'm sorry to interrupt' look and told me that he had to go off. Bad news for him, left his full pack of Marlboro and had to come back all the way just for the ciggies. And i thought he'd just come by, grab his pack and go off. But no, i was wrong. I was surprised to see him seat himself comfortably beside me. I was even more surprised to hear him order a drink for himself, just to mingle with us awhile more. That's just really...sweet?
By then, Dad was at our table and we were making fun of Metal songs in particular Japanese Metal and how the language goes.Then we started talking about moshing which Wany apparently found alien. So we all had a nice chat and went our seperate ways, Dad sending the girls home as well.

It won't be long til it's Wany who has to drive us home,prolly all the time.Heh.

Oh well, Adib does look hot in short,kempt hair. almost irresistable. but hey, they say he's just a friend.
I'm beginning to think twice on asking him to join me and the others to Tioman this july. If not Adib, either Haikel (yes, my classmate/neigbour.How irritating is that.) or Lutfiaton.

Adib is by far, someone i know im comfortable with. I'd sleep with him, no problem, for 3 nights without feeling awkward. Coz we can lie on the same bed and talk all night. We've done that before. Really, just talk till we fell asleep.
Haikel though, is a friend i can only look as a friend. He's reliable, yes, and oh so knowledgeable about things, but to share a same room with him for 3 nights? might make me feel a lil uncomfy. DO NOT ASK ME WHY.
And Lutfi? yeah, he's hot and all but so what. If i can't feel comfortable with him means he can't go. I'd prolly stay up all night regretting that i brought him along. What? just so we could sleep together? Hell, i don't need to go to Tioman to do that riiite.

So simply said, i need a companion to bring along to Tioman. Not a fuck partner, not just a person to share my room, not a person to fill up the next seat, not even a cheap thrill. I just want a companion. Someone i can trust, someone i'll feel safe with, someone who'd mingle with my friends and who's ready to see the wild side of me. A friend who appreciates me for who i am, and can watch out for me. Someone who's the Imran to Diyanah.

I know, that sounds like Superman, but i know, it's among those 3 guys that i have that Superman. Of course, im not looking for a relationship, don't get me wrong. I just wanna share this trip with someone who's worth it. Worth every bit of it.

On a brighter side, i wanna include what my dad said earlier on the night.

Or rather, asked.

"Wany's really waiting for Skye eh? She must be a very loyal person."

I hope that's enough to make you smile babe. And i didn't make this up. Ask Diy if you don't believe me. He knows how much you love Skye, as everyone else does.So you hanging in there, you got fifteen months to go. It'll fly by, as long as we're here.

And as for me, I dunno. I haven't found him yet. i thought i found him in Izwan. But the truth's surfaced, he's not him, i guess. Oh brutherrr. I can't be bothered to think. If it's him,it's him. If not then ok lorrr...

Alright now. I'm working at Spinelli for the very first time tmr with Diy and i start shift at 12 noon. So yeah, it's been a looong time since i worked and i'm all excited. Ok people, gotta go now. Goodnyte and take care.

*I miss my secondary school friends, suddenly. I dunno why. You know what, i miss 4F. *shrugs.

It's been a good friday for me so far.. been slacking and chatting up with Haikel and Melissa, a classmate who's in my good books already. Mel's a pure tomboy, and i enjoy her company.

Showed them the 'ethyl chloride' photos in which Riddie claims that i look diva in. Oh what the hell Riddie.

Mum sat down and discussed with me issues pertaining the car. She's thinking of selling our dear ISIS to get the family a smaller saloon car and to get me a Kelisa. Wow, i thought. a car? for me?
IF i get my license by the end of the year. IF only..

I'm supposed to do a wedding invitation for Mickey's class, and am in the midst of doing it right now.
Nafa is so much fun, come to think of it.

Anyways, i must add that im proud of my built-in alarm clock. i woke up on my own today! at 9am!
achievement dokk.

and yeah, i got tat Spinelli job at Forum and i can't wait to get earnings.
Tioman, i'm coming to ya this July you can count on that.

And Hairul darling thanks for the nice comments, i really appreciate it. i think i can see my undies tearing apart now.

Ok, im off to my work. laters.

All hail the new skin!!

i liiiike this skin. very my colour (thought not my kinda image) but heck it's fine with me.
I dunno who the hell these women are, but at least they're pretty to look at ;)

Aaanyways, will be heading down to Spinelli at Penin to have that interview. Just maybe, i'll be meeting up with Lutfi for some coffee.

I'm having my menses as of right now and it sucks, it's craming up.

Have a pleasant day ahead ya'll. toodles.

It is set.
Tioman, here we come.

I spent the whole night multi-tasking ; Tioman research and water-colouring.

Found a suitable self-made package that's within our average budget of $400.
Ey, with that can get good deal you know.
Two nights' stay at Minang Cove Beach Resort with affordable Scuba-diving facilities and laid-back environment and a last nights' stay at Japamala Tree Top Resort, a haven on earth.
Plus travel and leisure, all that not going beyond $400.

Now you can imagine the immense research i was in.

The next step is to find a partner by 2nd week of April, and it'll help if he's a HE and that HE works.
I dunt wanna spend romantic nights with females or men i don't fancy for that matter.

Alright then. I'm off to sleep. Nites.

I am officially single, if you haven't noticed. I haven't been mentioning about him much often either.
Life is better this way i suppose, and i can't really imagine myself being in a relationship right now.
Maybe that's not what i need.

And so i'm doing my usual browsing through the internet in search of good articles to share..
..and i came upon this one that states about life after a break up.

It goes -

'So, you've found out that Mr. or Miss Right isn't the soul mate you've always dreamed about. Now what? The period of loss and pain doesn't have to extend on to an eternity of what ifs. After spending a few days wallowing in self-pity, you'll probably want to start making a few steps towards life after love. To help ease this transition, try a few of the following ideas.

Keep a daily journal.
Letting loose on your emotions is a quick and self-healing way to recover from incidents of loss and pain. This is especially true of keeping a journal. Make a commitment to write for at least a few minutes every day.

Learn at least one new thing a day.
Keep your mind busy with new information. Whether you decide to learn a new word or how to do something new on your computer, it will help you keep moving forward instead of looking back.

Take a daily walk.
Get yourself out and about with a 20 to 30 minute walk. Just the constant, repetitive motion of moving your legs one after another is enough to help you put things in perspective.

Go out with yourself.
Just because you are not attached to someone doesn't mean you can't enjoy going out. Think of it as a chance to go to all the places you've always wanted to go.

Develop a hobby.
Maybe there is something you've always wanted to learn how to do. Now is the perfect opportunity to develop it! Try anything from bicycling, joining a walking club, sewing, bodyboarding or surfing, learning how to watercolor, or cooking.

I think i'm pretty much doing those things.I do keep a daily journal,i learn new things everyday. Like for yesterday, i learnt that a certain kind of chemical if taken in a large dose can cause damage to the kidneys.
I walk alot everyday. I walk from Bugis MRT to school alone, and that's enough a walk for my mind to wander.Developing a hobby? well does exercise count? coz i have been doing push ups in the toilets whenever i bathe. and oh ya! i started collecting Zouk postcards and all sorts. so yes, i think im handling Life after Love well.

That's cause i can't be the least bit bothered with the ex-boyfriend. Yeah sure we're still in contact, but my feelings for him are minimal now. Love just faded, i guess.

Ok so it seems that Wany's star sign is giving her ibby-jibbies uh. All happy for the inner package? oh what the hell, it's fun to believe in such things sometimes. Though i must say my personality isn't based on the star that i am, i am just me.

Have a great day ahead ya'll. I'm off to the clinic for a FREE tyfoid jap and to the library after that to do my work. and congratulations to myself and my girls for getting the job at Spinelli. =)

I'm happy i got a second chance at FNB.Spinelli isn't so bad.And we're going to Langkawi instead of Bali this June. That's gonna have to be the highlight of the mid-year for us. Ok sweets, i'm off.

What is a female orgasm?
We're writing this explanation in the assumption that you - the reader - are male. But what follows will be of interest to a lot of female readers too. What happens in a woman's body during a climax is very like what happens in your (male) body when you ejaculate. In other words, there's a feeling of increasing excitement, building up to a point where everything 'blows' in a great blast of ecstasy. This 'orgasmic moment' is characterised by surges of contractions in the sex organs, occurring almost every 0.8 seconds.

Men are well aware that these throbs of pleasure are accompanied by the pumping out of spurts of seminal fluid. Obviously this doesn't happen in women. A few females do produce some fluid at orgasm, but the impression given in so many erotic stories that most women 'ejaculate' is not correct. Only a minority of females do this.

Multiple orgasm.
The other big difference between male and female orgasm is this: after the first climax, many women can 'come' again, often within a minute or two. This ability is extremely rare in males. Relatively few young women can achieve multiple orgasm, because it's an ability that usually has to be learned. But with the help of a skilled lover, most women can eventually achieve the capacity for multiple orgasms - if they so desire.

Bringing women to a climax.
For men perhaps the most important thing to realise about female climaxes is that with women, it's not a mechanical thing - as it generally is with men. You see, most males will ejaculate quite quickly if they have their penises rubbed. This applies even if the circumstances aren't very romantic - or even if they don't particularly like the person who's doing the rubbing! Women are not like this! Female orgasm isn't a push-button response. The conditions have to be right. Although females vary, many women need the following if they're going to reach a climax:
-a romantic atmosphere
-pleasant, comfortable surroundings
-a partner who they really like
-a feeling of being wanted and appreciated
-a good flow of natural lubrication - so that the delicate female parts don't get sore
-a skilled partner who knows how to stimulate the clitoris. Unless you can provide the above, you are not going to have great success in giving your partner orgasms.

Please bear in mind that - contrary to what many men think - sexual intercourse by itself is not likely to produce an orgasm. This is because intercourse alone is not very good at stimulating the woman's clitoris. Nearly all females need additional stimulation of the clitoris by fingers or mouth. What to do:

In summary, here's what to do if you want to bring your partner to orgasm regularly:
-don't be in a rush.
-don't be too demanding - it's not an Olympic event.
-talk to your partner, and ask her what she wants you to do to her.
-always create a romantic atmosphere.
-make sure that everything is comfortable and nice for her.
-give her lots of kisses and cuddles before you even think about making any approach to her sexual area.
-when you do start to stroke, rub or kiss her genitals, don't rush into 'attacking' her clitoris. Take things gently, and see what she wants.
-use her own natural lubrication to moisten her clitoris. (If she is over 40, it may be a good idea to use some additional lubrication from a chemist or a sex shop).
-remember that stimulation of the clitoris is the key to female orgasm.
-sometimes encourage her to run your sex sessions. You can learn a lot by watching how she stimulates herself or by really listening to her when she suggests a sex position, or a particular caress.

This is a good article i stumbled upon, and my oh my i definetly agree to this writer. All men should learn the art of orgasm in order for their women to stay vigilant and sexually loyal to them. Don't you agree?
I mean, what is sex without the orgasm?
What is love-making without the moans and the groans and each other climaxing?

Ok people, let's revert the topic.

It's also another article i stumble upon while researching about drunk driving. And here's a catchy yet heart-slammingly sad story. Her name's Jacqueline Saburido, and this is her story.



Not everyone who gets hit by a drunk driver dies.

She was hit by a car in late 1999 that was driven by an 18-year old drunkard. She was pinned at the front seat and within minutes her vehicle caught fire. Two of her close friends died on the spot while she was rescued, 60% of her body badly burnt.

Till today, she's fighting to recover. Her face is unrecognisable and people, imagine her agony. If you think you've been tested and pained in life; think again.She's a changed person, and i wish her all the best in her recovery.

###

As of right now, i have a DOG of a father. He came home cussing and swearing at us. Yeah sure, cuss all you want at us daughters but not to your recovering wife. She suffers in silence, this mother of mine. She swallows her sorrows, this mother of mine. All her life she's been tested. All her life's filled with sacrifice.She keeps that DOG in her house as a husband, but never as a worthy one. As a father of her daughters but not a dutiful one.

Let me just tell you what he's been doing for the past week. Smoking bong and getting all high till the wee hours of the morning. Complaining of too much workload when all he does is laundry. Goes out and meets his friends till 3 am. Neglecting the business. He's still a kid. Not grown up yet.

A fucked up person he is, and im just sad. I'm too matured to rebel, but i will turn my back against him one day. I'd probably kill him.
This anger, the rage and the vengeance on how much i see my mother suffer in silence under the brutality of a man i call father.

This sinful world we live in, is full of hypocrites.

What do you get when you have your closest friends, a night of party and ethyl chloride?
Pure fun.
And that's exactly what i got out of my Saturday.
The girls and Imran and i went clubbing after eons, even my clubbing gear caught dust.We were supposed to head down to Cheekys, but it proved to be the April Fool's Day of the century when we learned that it was still shut tight, unable to receive patrons as yet.
What the hell lah Cheekys, bile mau bukak,bongok?

I started Saturday with a grooming session at the salon at Ubi, got my hair done. Cut my fringe and gotten a babydoll look. wtv. the lady felt sorry for my unkempt brows and plucked them and gave them a breather in life. they're fine and prettier now.

Attending Etah's 5oth birthday BASH was really, a bash. Her Royale mango cake got me igniting my senses. that's how delicious it was. *melts.

Then i headed back to an empty home to get ready to party..wore my new top, a really unique-cut top i spotted at Far East the other day.Met the peoples at Raffles Place MRT and my heart was thumping. it's been soooo frikkin long since i saw my babes in their night's best.

Here's a photo journal of my night on Saturday. The bomb i tell you.


Mira,Wany,Diy.


Suppering at Shah Alam where there's Wany's favourite Fish Curry.She orders that without the prata.

And so we thought of heading down to Rouge only to get ourselves rejected. No fret, we did have a blast without going there. But to get to Somerset,took us an hour even though we were from Boat Quay. LET ME SHOW YOU WHY.


We took the bus going to the wrong direction!!!


Imran's 15". And Diy screams.


The cam whores that we are. A tinge of fun was enough to keep us smiling through the journey. Ixus, we love you.

Walking down the road at Orchard after getting rejected at Rouge wasn't so painful, coz we were equipped with ETHYL CHLORIDE. this thing is the bomb. but before meeting up with Kumar and snuggling at the back of Orchard MRT Station, we bumped into Crystal and Han, and i wished her a belated birthday and we snapped a photo or two.=)


Diy,Wany,Crystal and Mira. Now, they don't call me Beyonce for nuthn'.


Crys and her rubber face. what the hell.

And so she left for Han's and we were left by the streets to rot till 3am. We were on Hamid's guest list like always, and didnt want to enter Devils too early. so i gave my friends a piece of heaven. *wide smile*


Getting ourselves comfy at the spot where noone walks.


As i explained to them what is yet to happen, how that shit works and the kinda high they're about to feel,and you're about to see..


And the sniffing begins! Don't get me wrong, it aint glue.


Some more lah dey..


Wany action terror.


If you're wondering what the hell we're sniffing, it's my blouse they're using to dampen the chemical. (chemical???!!!)


And after a few rounds of sniffs, we start to giggle..


...and get high!!!


The guys doing their thing.


you go crazy with this thing!

My knockout.


Diy's knockout.


Imran's knockout.


Kumar's knockout.


Wany's knockout.


And then we started sprawling all over the Orchard ground...


Ohhh....


Roll it giao! Roll it giao!


Mampos terbaring. I think i died for awhile.


On cloud nine.


Bye Kumar!




Couldn't stop laughing..

When the gals got high..

Check out Diy's Emily Rose look.


I remembered Imran telling me to sing Twinkle Stars. Idiot he.



Kumar trying to curb me from further sudden outrages.


Buey tahan lah Joya.


Wany ripping her ass.

....and so on and so forth.

You can find almost the whole collection of pics on Wany's blog.

So then we headed down to Devils after much ass-ripping and laughing and crying coz we're laughing. the last round of laughing gas ended well with all 5 of us sitting in a circle as if in a trance and engaging ourselves in the laughing gas high. it was pure EUPHORIA.

sitting by the 7-11 outside Forum.



This is random but i gotta slot this in : the only beer i drink is Baron's.

So aniwaes..


dancing the night away at the dancefloor..


Guess what??? we bumped into Brian at Devils! boy was i happy.


Us four having fun..


Happy,happy on the podium.


Pimpin'!

and so the night went on...

we were having too much fun to snap fotos. the crowd was good, i must say it was one of Devil's most happening nights. we were oblivious to the crowd, and we had a jug of Vodka Lime that we enjoyed. though the music sucked, it was an orgasmic blast at the end, with Sean Paul back to back. power dok! i'm a fanatic of that fucker so yah! i was beaming throughout my whole dance get-up. DJ Oli spun almost thru the entire night, dunno where the hell Hamid went to. i must say,Hamid is a better DJ coz he knows what the crowd likes. He can capture crowd vibes and never fail to bring us pumping.

The night ended with a remix of My Humps and that ends well.

A shacked and exhausted clique of 5 settled down at McDonalds to have early morning breakfast and a chitty chatty session. I think Brian still has a crush on Wany.
I read the SMS he texted me the following day, 'So glad i bumped into ya'll today! Thanks again. And oh my gawwwd Wany looks absolutely gorgeous!!Ok ah i'm off to sleep in train and dream.Morning!'

What can i say, we're a bunch of fun people and my darlings are bombshells. *winks

Ok people, i wanna wrap up this very long entry with a gambar classic.


It's the girls bingeing on breakfast. Check out Wany's squint and Diy's retarded jaw-opening.
SO MUCH FOR BOMBSHELLS.

Toodles.

What gets me going,gets me talking. What He brings me to, He brings me through.

Twenty
elegantly bolder&badder
INSANE.
fake and dismissive

travel.gossip.girls&boys.

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