good things when short are twice as good.

I am drunk.... at..... 6.46m.

am having trouble typing.

am at sady's office.

i think i broke down the worst man today.... fucking hell!!

listening to some songs to cheer me up....chop suey's on the list!!!

sady's music selection is like...amazing.

im speaking like a blonde cos i just finished crying buckets...wailing like a stupid kid...

but it felt good, to let go...
and know that so many ppl at harry's mexican love m so much,..

i swear...im so tipsy...atleast this was better than just now,

i got to pee out all the alcohol i consumed....

oh and by the way,

I SLAPPED AZMAN ACROSS HIS FACE LAST NIGHT, INFRONT SO MANY PEOPLE!!!!

HOW COOL IS THAT SHIT UH?!?!?!?!?!!??!?1

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Brand new ME. 7:06 AM

It is funny where life brings you, no?

Last night, was ROUND #1. For those who have been there for me, who know what the hell has been going on, i thank you..and i swear..HE won't get away scott-free.

I shan't mention here what happened last night at the cafe...take it from me, he got busted...BAD.

He's been asking for it..you guys know how it has been eating up inside, how much it has been killing me.. This break up,
is different from the rest that i went through..this one involves SWEET REVENGE.

Revenge IS sweet after all.

Like i said,
never be mean to Mira. you're gonna regret it. Mira can do wonders.. her radar system is like 40-km all round and in minah language, her INFO is KETAT.

Khekhe.

But...you know, after all this...

HE STILL WANTS TO BE FRIENDS.

Eiii brader,
lu pikir apa?
gua pompan bodoh apa?
Suka-suka pa..kau dah tipu aku,
kau dah mangkok semangkok-mangkok tidak..
dah kene korner,
beh nak baek2 ngan aku??

*insert : Imran comment*

ISAP BUAH AKU SAMPAI KEMAM.

what the fuck sia.

Whatever it is.......nothing's gonna change the big showdown this saturday. Where the justice will be served and i'm all for girlpower right now, so trust me......it'll be a blast (for me, to him.).

What else you want from me...?
Some more money...?
A chance to swallow my mum's money again....?
A reason to bruise my morale...?
A reason to notch-up your ego...?
WHAT?!?!
what is it.........?!?!?!
don't....waste.....my...frikkkkinnnn....tiiiiime.
In my eyes, you are, and will always be..... a jantan dayus.

##

On a seperate note,
one year ago Izwan and i celebrated our 1 and a half year anniversary..and it was the sweetest and most memoriable because,
one year ago was also the day i found Aqil.
Aaaah....
Memories.

Izwan came over just now...and it sucks to know that i become an emo-bastard everytime i see him.
What else did Mira do (besides dumta-dumta *coughs*) ??????
Mira cried like a baby lah siak.
But i must say...his arms are more solid than they were when i left them...and i managed to confess to him, that "You've grown up,Izwan. And i didn't manage to see that.".

Ohmeegosh.

I'm just sick and tired of the all games.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Ngyeheh. 3:03 AM

Oh,
and i have to slot this in.

Text message from Diy at 2345hrs on 17/11/06.

"Babe besok gi clubbing, aku nak kacip jantan. Mission : MABOK."

*Mira laughs out loud.*

I'll think about it k babe, cos that's not exactly what i need right now. I need some girl power,dok.

afraid 2:46 AM

I am very afraid right now.. very afraid of giving myself to anyone else again. He's damaged that part of me, and i will recover in time to come.
I'm afraid to commit ;
I'm afraid to fall in love ;
I'm afraid of a man's sweet words.

I AM VERY AFRAID.

So to all pricks in the world, please leave me alone.

It didn't help that i was involved with a guy (or man, if you prefer) who promised me hand in marriage and played with my trust.
Worst of all, he used my money and was living OFF me. And mind you, he's 27,supposedly "stable" and "responsible".

POOOI!!! MY FOOT!!!

He's hurt me.
Damaged me.
Coz my trust was being played with.
And it doesnt help that it's so difficult for me to confront him (cos of his lack of balls) and bloody PUNCH HIS FACE which would be a dream of mine,
he owes my dear friend Ayul money too.

*Say it together*

MACAM SIAL KAAAAAAAAAN.

Azman Marican,
you slut.
Never thought you'd turn out this way. All the sugarcoated words and empty hopes and dreams, all washed down like another Sun TV soap opera episode. It's true what Maswany says, 'Mira termakan.'

My life, for the past 2 months..has been crazy. ABSURD. RIDICULOUS. what the fuck was i thinking?!?!?!???!?!
It's been like a typical indian soap opera relived, and i swear i'll never date another INDIAN GUY.

they scare the shit out of me.

And so after much hurt, i think i have a gaping hole in my right ventricle. It's physically and emotionally draining, i've prolly lost blood. The very epitome of the statement 'cekik darah'. So because there is a gaping hole in my right ventricle, i'd prolly wanna throw some doa selamat kenduri to selamatkan me from any future episodes like this. I've had enuf, and i am serious on throwing a doa selamat. And if as serious as it gets, i DO get to throw a kenduri, all of you are invited, my friend.
Especially those who have been seeing me through this ruffedge.

But you know what,
Nothing beats the pain i went through (and overcame) exactly ONE YEAR AGO.
When Aqil came into my life.
Remembering back those times, one year ago, i can't help but feel bersyukur to God for the tests He gave me.

I've found myself again.
This time, stronger and assier.

Friday, November 17, 2006

The B....F. 8:46 AM

This is gonna be a raging entry.

MAK KAU PEH PUKI SIALLLL..KAU PIKIR AKU POMPAN BODOH KE APE AH?!
SIAL PEH JANTAN, TAKDE BOLA. KONEK KAU PON TAK BERAPE BESAR LAH SIAK.

KAU MEMANG, KLASIK PEH MAMA, KLASIK PEH JANTAN SUNDAL TAK GUNER.

KEJE KAU, MAKAN DUIT AKU, BOHONG AKU, TIPU AKU, PIJAK KEPALA AKU.

YOU REALLY LIVE BY THE STATEMENT "FEED ME , FUCK ME , SHUT THE FUCK UP".

HEARTLESS MOTHERFUCKER. TWO-FACED,DISPECABLE,DECEITFUL SON OF A BITCH.
YOU OUGHT TO ROT IN HELL AND STAY THERE.

IMMA BUST YOUR ASS, YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOUR LIVING FUCKLIGHTS. CHIBAI.

MAKAN DUIT AKU, MENGHILANG SATU HARI, JANJI MAMA, BERBUAL WORLD(PADAHAL SATU HAPRAK PULTIK PUN AKU TAK NAMPAK).

YOU ARE NO MAN, YOU'RE WORSE THAN A FUCKING KID.

EH! SEKOLOT-KOLOT IZWAN EH, MEMBER TAK PERNAH MAKAN DUIT AKU LAH SIAK. TAKYA CAKAP DUIT AKU, DUIT MAAAK AKU PON MEMBER TAK PERNAH MINTAK LAH SIAKK.

KAU MEMANG JANTAN TAK TAU MALU TAKOT MAK! SIAL! OHH!! PANDAI KAU AMEK HATI MAAKBAAPAK AKU, AKU KAU BUAT MACAM POMPAN BODOH.

KAU TIPU AKU TAKPE TAU, ATLEAST TAKYA NAK SMUNYIK2 AH SIALLLLL .. SAMPAI BILE PUKIMAK?!

EH, AKU TANYE KAU EH, KAU TAK PENAT PER TAK ABES2 BOHONG AKU. KAU TUNGGU APE? TUNGGU AKU TAREK KAU PEH LIDAH SAMPAI PUTOS??

HAAAA

NI AKU DAH BINGET GILER EH, TAPI AKU MAINTAIN JE. AKU TAKKAN PERAH2 MINYAK KAT RUMAH. AKU NAK MEET KAU FACE TO FACE, HAH PART TU KAU TAU AH APE KAU DAPAT.

PENUMBOK KESAYANGAN.

your lies have a way at coming back at you. let's just say...they've backfired.

ASSFUCKINGSCUMBAGHOLE!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Saakhi Re. 7:42 PM

You all must download this song,
Saakhi Saakhi from Musafir.
It's a bloody Hindi song, but it's a bloody nice Hindi song.
By Sukhwiner and Sunidhi Chauhan.

What the fuck sia Mira..?

Oh saakhi saakhi re saakhi saakhi
Aa paas aa, rahe na jaaye koyi khwaahish baaki.

in the mood for dancing. 5:45 AM

I swear im jamming my ears out in my room right now.
I dunno why,
but i gatal wanna club already.

MACAM SIAL KAN AKU.

Nisa must be sighing already.
-_-

Listening to Teriyaki Boys and some trance.
I know! wtf! trance??!?!?
but Safri Duo rocks my boomboomroom man..

Today was a weird day.
Better than yesterday of course,
but i feel a little bit more liberated siol.

And tomoro is...
....WEDNESDAY....
which means...
it's....

.....LADIES NIGHT!!!!!!

Ask Diy,
seriously ask her.
WHY OH WHY
i miss Cheekys.
I can't explain why sialll.
Maybe i just need to *zenn*.
And then Imran's house will be empty next month.
Plans are already underway...khakhakha!!

I feel so Mira last time, u know?
yah.
it's not good, i swear.
oh well.

Mira...grow up!!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Indian Accent. 5:18 AM

: Saakhi Saakhi from Musafir :

These are some photos which were so due.
Eid Mubarak 2006.
And taken are baby pics of the newborns in the family,
be it paternal or maternal side.
I'll just run through those of my favourites, yeah?

Enjoy. =)

Family photo Day 1.

Myself on Day 1.

Nadya and her Beyonce Aunt. =)

MamiNah and the young addition, Nora Hortensius.

My Angels, Nadya and Nabyla.

Latest addition to the Shah family; Safiyyah.She looks
exactly like her father sia.

The extended family.

Shah sisters - Etah,Mak Bibah and my mother of course.

3rd day outing. Me and Sharrah in tudong. yikes.

Minah Tudong Violent.

I'm going very random, now am i not?

Outing with my ladies.
Gadis Islam Menawan.
Yeah!

Another family outing,this time in Creme.
I'm a minah tudong with an ASS.

When Auntie Latifah and Shahirah came by.

Best of friends.

My younger sister looks so diff from me,
and i was having a hard time stopping myself from squeezing
Safiyyah.

And i have to slot this in :

Him and my parents engaged in a heavy conversation over at my place
after dinner last week.
Well, i'm sad the good times are gone.
-_-

I guess that's enough of photo-updating.
Don't know what steam I'm having.

##

And for the sake of my own happiness,
i shall not suffocate you.
(if that was what i was doing lah)
And so i shall move on,
stand up on my own,
with or without you.
Rest assured i'll keep the wonderfully good memories
close to my heart.
But, it's just that lor.

Sniff Sniff.
So sad.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Reborn 10:38 PM

: Bon Jovi's Thank You For Loving Me.

It's a blistery Monday morning..and i love it.
I have the whole day to myself,
but unlike yesterday,
i feel like i wanna do something today.

First thought was,well..
to have my own Movie Marathon.
Dig up all the old Bollywood dvds i have
and run through them with a tub of popcorn.

Yeah.
I need self-indulgence.
Stuff i could do alone that'll make me fall in love with myself again.
I know,
i sound pah-the-tic.
But u see,
I'm breaking up.
And i need myself now.

I'm on my own two feet again,now.
It's been soooo super long since i last felt this way.
And heck,
this is probably the worst break-up i've ever experienced.
But i thank God for all the shit i've went thru last time,
to help me pull thru this time..
yeah..

And strange as it sounds,
i feel like dropping by at Sady's to catch the movies.
He's got tones of movies to watch..
i don't mind if he's at work and im at his house,
making myself useful.
That'll be fun.

And Rina's back!
i have a date with her tonight at her place.
Maybe, i shall just crash at her place tonight.
With candles and all..
yeah,
girl power.

You know what?
This time round,
i wanna do things i've never done before!
Not like clubbing and partying..
or hanging out at town..
but seriously,
things you've never heard me doing.
Like cable-carring.
Or bunjee-jumping?
Kayakking?
Oh man. the list goes on..
haha.

It helps..to know that you guys are a part of my life.
Whoever u are,
im thankful to have you in my life.
Say hello to Mira again,
the one who'd laugh till she cries.
And cries till she laughs and knows that tomoro comes a brand new day.
Excuse the emosi.
But oh wells,
it's been an amazing time,no?

Thank you.

Ride's over. 10:21 AM

Just thought of letting out..

I've finally allowed myself to let go..
of all the hurt,
of all the damage done.

I swear,
it was painful.
But i'm recovering well..
and i hope,
i'll get better as the days roll by.

I loved him, and that's all to that.
I'm just so so sad that things turned out this way.
But heck.
It really opened my eyes to the harsh reality of life.

I'm starting to live life without him..
And adapting myself back to the old Mira.
The one people knew me to be.
I don't need a man to pin me down,
to demoralise me,
to make me feel so little.

*Shit. now i need to smoke.*

Like i told myself,
people change.
And to God,
If You know he is the one,
please change him.
Cos only You know what's best for me.

Retribution has it's ways.

I can make it through the rain, this time.

Goodnight.
Hello to the new world.
=)

To the left, Boy! 4:02 AM

I want ya'll to read this entire post,aite?
And understand. =)

To the left!
Everything you own in the box to the left.
In the closet that's my stuff - YES.
If i bought it Boy, please don't touch.
And keep talking that mess, that's fine.

But you could walk and talk at the same time,
And it's MY name on that Jag
So remove your bag let me call you a cab.

Standing in the front yard telling me
how I'm such a fool - talking about you.
how I'll never ever find a man like you.
You got me twisted.

You must not know about me
You must not know bout me.
I could have another you in a minute,
Matter of fact he'll be here in a minute,Baby.

So go ahead and get GONE
And call up that chic and see if she's home.
Ooops, i bet ya thought i didn't know.
What did you think i was putting out for?
Cos you were untrue
Rolling her around in the car that i bought you.
Baby drop them keys,hurry up before your taxi leaves.

So..
Since i'm not your everything,
How bout i'll be nothing.
Nothing at all to you.
Baby i won't shed a tear for you.
I won't lose a wink of sleep.
Cos the truth of the matter is..
Replacing you is so easy.

Don't you ever for a second think you're irreplacable.

Hell,no.

Thanks for the ride, Boy.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Remember? 6:04 AM

Hey..

day's been good.
i was naughty last night.
i went clubbing.
-_-
*zen mode*

must say it was dissappointing though.
funny,
cos in the morning,
right after my shower..
and just before i crashed,
i was thinking to myself -
Man, i don't need this.

cos i was thinking about Baby all the fucking time.

i felt so stupid.
of course,
main agenda wasn't to dig into another guy,
fuck no.
i thought of just letting loose.
but neh,
didn't work for me.
not that way, yeah.

He was on my mind the entire fucking night.
couldn't run away from that.
and fuck, i was so happy when he called at
seven in the morning.

He'll be busy with the new project he has..
and i might just fall out.
oh well,
come what may.

fucking hell im sleepy now.
gooznait.

will come back on a better night,swear.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Go on, Kill Me. 9:08 PM

Dedicated to N.A.M.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
singing my life with his words..
Killing me softly with his song..
Killing me softly..with his song..

Telling my whole life..
With his words
Killing me softly..
..with his song..

Go On, Kill Me.
I'll never die without a fight.

Sandiwara? 8:45 AM

I'm still hurting..
It just hit me, reading back on Diy's blog.
It just hit me.

"Fucken hell... i'd rather go out with a mat who goes "u... i sayang u tau...i takkan tinggalkan u", than be in a 'serious' relationship with a guy, or if you prefer, man, who goes to geylang holding hands with a fat blonde minah behind my back."

Now..it's all falling nicely into pieces.

But seriously,
who's telling the truth .. ?
B denied
and
D swore she couldn't been mistaken.
Especially if "I" was there to witness it too..

I'm just lost and so confused, i don't want to be thinking
about it anymore.
Honestly,
even if it happened,
i hope he'll come clean once and for all one day.
I'll pray that the guilt would eat him alive..
cos till that one day comes,
it would be a living stigma..
I've forgiven him for it, deep inside.
Because I've done it with my previous taboo.
And if this is what you call 'retribution' ,
then i'll take it in it's grace.

What goes around, does come around.

I'm just still so overwhelmed by the mere fact of deceit.
This is really,challenging.

A small part says - 'main giler'
while the bigger part is telling me to stay sane.
Keep my dignity,
and not crumble.

Who are you?
Why have you arrived?
What do you want from me?

##

Belle baby..
i love you.
Stay strong and i swear, you're not alone.
You're probably feeling what i felt..
and isn't it just magical?
Have faith in yourself..cos right now,
you need yourself the most.

##

Nycer darling..
I'm so happy for you.
Like i said,
you only deserve the best..
and it's an amazing man you have yourself there..
And i'm only wishing for the best to come..
Hug the Man, but smile at the Rock, huh?
=p

##

God knows,
I've never felt this way before.
This cheebye motherfucking feeling.

##

Oh and to all Insomnia staff who reads this ;
(note : Apparently some Insomnia staff read my blog. GOD KNOW WHO)
your fellow Bouncer,yep,that big guy i used to
ok well 'have feelings' for,
owes me $100 and is reluctant to pay me back.
GOD KNOWS WHY.
and im just sick and tired of him,
and his nonsense.
This brings me no joy or pleasure,
and it's wasting my darn energy but just thought
of broadcasting it.

Jahat eh Mira.

##

Upcoming sensational THING. 3:48 AM

For the first time in my life last night,
i slept in the dark.
I slept well and peacefully, to add to that..

And that came with a new sense of Reborn.
I came to my senses ;
and it was a disastrous day for me yesterday.

I put him through so much mental calamity,
and i ended up in the losing end.
It was a night i nearly lost him.

I spoke affluently,
i spoke well..
Like he said, i 'nicely put' things together..
and since my decision was that,
he'll grant it to me..

But WOH GAWWD i couldn't sleep well after that.

It's only after i called him up again and spoke to him
for awhile and soothed my senses,
and called Safrina to sound all crazy,
that i finally gotten peaceful slumber.

It's weird, this thing im in.
I don't know how else to say it.
He's just amazing,
and funny how i feel so attached,
i can't live with or without him.
He fucking pisses me off all the time
with his direct words,
but hell i still love him.
He puts me down,
crushes me..
but still, he makes me feel like the most amazing person in the world.

Why?

But i'm set on it;
I'm not letting go..
and i swear to God i'll never dare losing him again.
It's too surreal to be ending this courtship,
the pain would be so unbearable,
i prolly won't be able to stand up again.

Yes.. that is it..
When i told him to leave,
i could see my entire sense of direction so haphazard-
i could see my legs grow weak-
and i could see myself digging my claws into him.
I needed him.. and i need him still..

I've never been so attached to a person on such a hollistic level.
I've always been a fighter,
a strong believer in inner strength,
and a person who is of her own..

Not that im not any of that anymore,
just that i've vowed to keep it to that..
i believe very much in the relationship he and i have..
and i'll stand true and strong to it.

No other woman on Earth could stand a chance with him..
..but believe me,
I WILL.

Burp

What gets me going,gets me talking. What He brings me to, He brings me through.

Twenty
elegantly bolder&badder
INSANE.
~~fake and dismissive~~

Mira A.

travel.gossip.girls&boys.

Le Comorades.

Dibs
Mul
Souqie
Rina
Frinn
Nadirah
Ben Tricheks
Farah Faith
Karooona
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and i fly again.