our seventh month..and counting.

not defunct. as yet.

fiskus

solo

lonely

sharing my life with you

Salaam

a few good reads.

what women want.

some's up

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

December 2008

June 2009

Maternal Love Part I

My mother is so cute. She's 58, a retired teacher but just recently became internet-savvy.
She has her own personal blog, her own short clip on youtube, and an email account with gmail. How cool is my mum huh.

And i woke up, to see her on the computer, chatting on msn with my cousin from Penang.
So as she chats on and rambles, she actually asks a zombified yours truly, " Eh Meer, ni nama nyer chatting eh?".

And i replied.."Yes Ma..."

Then i realised that she's an impatient chatter. She nudges my busy cousin who's at work, at every time interval of 0.45 seconds. She expects a reply too soon, and she's always on the ball while chatting.

"Apesal ni die diam? Asal die tak jawab Mak? Mak nak nudge die la.."

Aleeeerrrrmak... my mum knows how to nudge a person on msn la!!

coolness siak ni org tua eh.

So yeah, that's my wednesday morning.

MUM'S AN MSN MONSTER.

This is gonna be a super random post.

I need to shake my jellies and let go the last remaining dancing maggots at the back of my neck, and eliminate the dying SETAN in my bum.

I seriously need one last night of clean,pure,fun.

Fiiine, i be really honest with you. I want to go to these places in one night, before i embark on my religious journey ya.

- St James.
- Insomnia.
- MOS.
- Velvet Dragon ( new Momo).

I swear i'm naughty. But you know.. i know myself very well.. i need to let go. The word is LET GO.
And i have Achid to teman me.. haha i'm so very setan i swear.

I miss that Achid man la.. he's the sweet juice. Really.. ok for awhile my brain jam cos my ex bf Syawal texted me on msn. waddahellllll.

abes ah mira.

single and free to mingle ah nampak nyer..


You made me smile for the night..





The corner of your eyes is where you see me the most.


Thanks Achid.

"Touch me...don't touch me..come touch me..don't touch...come touch me soniyaan.."

I just can't stop listening to that song,balls.

Hello my lovelies..

It's been such a short day for me but WOH MY GAWD was wednesday superrr looong..
My day yesterday was a day with minimal words, but much movement and work. I had FOUR client meetings BACK TO BACK. imagine that,balls.. the amount of travelling and presenting, enough to send me to a concussed slumber just now.

Caught the finals of the Champions Leage with Imran and dad last night at Pasir Ris Central.. Kudos to AC!! Ngyahahahhaha. In your face, you Anfield-ers!!!

*evil laugh*

So today's day started out with a client meeting with Puan Hana at her place.. i really do love my job ya know. I discovered that i'm a person with much to say and that i can really work well with people.. All sorts of people. And that makes me feel really really natural in this job scope. Then again, i love my job!!
So after lack of sleep (taking into account the game ended at 4.30 am. -_-), a client meeting at eleven in the morning with a lot of verbal exchange, and a satisfied Mira, i succumbed into slumber the moment i got home at early afternoon. Slept through thursday evening just to be woken up by my boss, and i'm on my way again to some more client meetings.

Just ended a conversation with my old client, Mr Rashid.This guy ah...damn GATAL i tell you. Started becoming all personal on me. So i called Mr Faaiz not long later to complain about his particular guy, and Mr Faaiz disclosed to me that Rashid's a divorcee with charm. RIIITE.

Unfortunately, i have a meeting with him this saturday so wish me luck yeah.

Off to Umrah next sunday, and it is a highly anticipated departure i tell ya.

And now my brain jam. I need to update my pics la. Life's beginning to seem boring cos of lack of photos eh.

K la. till you hear from me again soon.

Hello hello people!!!!!!!!

I'm back, nineteen, assy, smarter AND still kicking ass!!!!

Ngyahahaha.

I'm feeling good on a windy tuesday morning, thank you. The past few days have seen me living like a zombie, bumping into the wall, falling down hard on my big ass and finally dusting my shoulders and standing up again. Yes, it's time i came to terms with myself and be thankful, i have.. i'm not denying myself anymore.. and it's a better way to live life, this way.

=)

Checked my friendster account after 48 hours, and a very nice message from a good friend made my day. Shakeel, thank you for that message. It really did make my day. It's the kinda messages Saf will never give me...Saf's only agenda on friendster is to make sure i'm faced with public embarrassment. Haha. But oh well we both know how much i love her so yeah.

Anyhoos.

If you're asking me, i feel blessed...Alhamdulillah things are finally taking shape for me. I've found my footing again..i'm not lost like a bloody gong gong anymore. I hope my friends are still doing what they do everyday, yeah? Wonder how you guys have been doing man..

The weekends was a blast for me, though i've been having insufficient sleep.. i managed to pull through the days with fruitful endeavours. Like for instance, Saturday was spent...well, i can't remember. Ya...for the life of me, saturday seemed so far away. But i know Sunday was a blast!
Had a client meeting with Siti Mayangsari and that lady is kick ass la seriously. Closed the deal with her at the wedding at Sembawang and she even offered me the entire buffet spread after we were done with business. How sweet kan.. and the food was awesomelicious. Mesti la, makan freeeeeeeee.

Then monday was spent well with Imran.. had lunch with him, then he came over to my place to watch a hindi movie with my mum.. ahah the bomb i tell you! i think mum nearly drove him up the wall with her 'makcik antics' and very very biased critic on the hindi movie.

"Lekas la lari!! Ah kan dah kene tembak!! Bodoh!! Asal tak lari cepat-cepat?!!"

...was some of the few dialogues my mum used during the entire watch. Welcome to my humble abode, Imran. ngyah ngyah ngyah.


Today brings a brand new day for me, where my worries are left behind. To every problem that i have in life, this day brings me closer to a solution. And i'm ever more excited for my trip to Umrah in another 2 weeks!! Anyone who wants to kirim anything, just drop me a text message and i'll try my very very best to get it for you k? Kalau dengan izin Tuhan dan murah rezki..Insyallah..

Next thursday is a big day for the familia - Kak Min's wedding. Decided to wear my prom nite outfit since i'm out of ideas on what to wear and since malay outfits are BANNED from her wedding. God knows la, we indians sometimes very prangai. Hahaiiii.
Her fiance will be arriving in SG this sunday, and a whole convoy of our extended relatives from Malaysia's making their way downtown soon.. kecoh,kecoh. Can't wait for this exciting event! Then soon after, will be the much anticipated trip to Umrah. My flight's on the 3rd of June just before Dzuhur. So yeah.. Shazyyyy!!! better see your face before i go k!!!


Alhamdulillah, the weeks ahead seems promising.. and soon to come, i'll be turning 19 already! Woohoo. Oh and Diy's turning 19 in a week's time.. don't worry babe, i remember.. and i'll get ya something okie?? Nadia's is on the 8th and i think Adib's is on the 7th?? Yeah.. gotta plot it down.
But yeah.. for my nineteenth, i'm still thinking of how to celebrate it. But just make yourselves free on the 30th in advance la yer...thaaaanks...

Ok lah you all. I gotta go.. need to call my very excited boss who's been bugging me to wake up since seven in the frikkin morning!

Toodles, till you here from me again. =)


married to myself, but open to infidelity. whatever infidelity means right now...

In trying times, women find most of themselves. And no, i didn't grow up too fast when i was still clubbing and exposed to the nightlife. I grew up, once i fell out of it. I grew up too fast.

Life is about the choices you make. You win some, you lose some. It's not always smooth sailing and things don't always go your way.

To be honest, it's been 2 solid days since i ever had a proper conversation with anyone outside my home. Been pretending at home. I've not spoken to anyone sanely since 2 days.

I'm crawling into my own shell... please let me be lah. I'm sorry things turned out this way.

Thinking back, i could have been celebrating my 3rd year with Izwan today. But no.. three years have seen me go through so much.. too much infact. I need to stop rolling and start walking.. I'm taking life too fast.

Maybe cos i am supposed to live this way,no? I don't often tell people this, but i have this queer feeling that my life is short. Serious. No no, i'm not suicidal.. i'm just being philosophical.

##

Sorry i'll be like this for the next few days or so. Til i can get my momentum back. And to my dear ones, please... don't speak of him. It hurts.

People make mistakes in their lives.

That's all i can say. This hurts, it really does..

I want to start living again, please.


breaks down

Things are getting so complicated as it already is.. and nothing's better than some conventional money making to atleast make me feel satisfied.

Having a very packed thursday tmr.


Shall blog again then. Turra.

Wow... today marks yet another special day for me.... the 15th of May 2007.

It's the day my eyes opened again, and i'm ever more grateful to God that it did. It's been a winding rollercoaster ride, hasn't it been? I'm glad that it's ending this way.

Though, i have a funny feeling that it might not be the end for him, but rest assured...I'm tired. And it is the end for me..

I'm happy ya know, to say the least? Really... take it from me, i am. And i have to give credit to my strength for this happiness. It's like a feeling of gratefulness to God for how He's planned everything out for me.

Everything happened for a reason.

I'm happy it's finally over - this madness of a love story - I'm happy it all ended this way ; with me nothing to lose.

The worst thing i could lose right now is myself.. and for everything that's happened, I THANK GOD it has brought me closer to faith, security and strength.

Maybe i was supposed to be designed this way ; a woman who doesn't need to find security in a man much less a relationship. What i'm saying is, maybe this is the way i'm supposed to turn out - emotionally independent.

Though this doesn't stop me from falling in love again, i pray to God that He'll meet me with the right one. A deserving, self-worthy, unconditionally understanding and strong man who'll see me through life's most difficult.

Needless to say, i am ready to share my life with someone already. That's why, tonight, i'm happy that God has burst my "bubble". I'm not living in an illusion anymore..

Twenty minutes ago i might have feared for what's to come.. his departure, and his return. These two are predictably fatal; but hey ya know what? i don't care anymore.

It's good you did what you did, it's good i'm getting you out of my system.. cos i needed you to do it for me to finally be sure that i know there's someone waiting for me, out there in the wilderness called world.. someone who should be sharing the bigger piece of pie than you ever did.

Someone so special, i'll call him my husband.

Yep you heard it right my lovelies, i'm ready to share my life with someone... but not just anyone mind you, someone who'll love me just the way i am.. someone who'll be there even when i don't need him to be..

And that someone, will come to me when the time is right. I believe He will summon that someone to me, when the time is being called for.

Finally i'm tired of searching.. instead, let him search for me.. I'm not only doing my mother this favor, but i'm doing myself,my future kids, and my feminity a favour as well.

Sometimes, when you feel like you're in a vicous (sp?) cycle and you think you can't get out, remember who you were yesterday and how strong you were, before all this happened..
And now that you've realised that the cycle if vicous, get out and move forward.
Think of who you're gonna be once you're out there again, think of what you're gonna bring along with you for the next leap of faith..

It's always tough for women to realise they're in a rut or much less come to terms with themselves.. but take it from me, it really does help ; coming to terms with yourself.We're always thinking that we're in the losing end at the end of the day.. but ladies ; get this : The only thing we'll ever lose if we don't step out is ourselves. So you've not lost anything, until you lose yourself..

At the end of the day, it's how you smile that matters.

And like i said before, i say once more.. you're not strong enough, until you've accepted your own weakness.

Goodnight.

Something's bugging me on this blisterish tuesday morning.


I'm sorry but this goes out to a certain someone who means very dear to me.

You know who you are, you idiot. Why did you hurt her feelings? In a way, you've made me doubt you again.
Why did she have to approach me and summon me with all those questions? Questions which obviously showed her true feelings - hurt.

What's going on? What are you doing in your free time....? And i'm thinking, actually how much free time do you have?

I'm playing a loyalty game here. And i daresay i'm not the most loyal person in the world. I can play this game good, i tell ya. I can go behind your back and have my own piece of heaven, and infront of you, i can hide that piece of heaven very very well.

If there's something up your sleeve, don't bother to keep it while you're around me. I am immune to your tricks. You might as well just fish out another bait. Dear one, if you really think that your tricks won't backfire on you...well...let's just say...they have.

To you who care,

don't. bother.

you have lost me. for today.

Monday has been boring for me, as always.
The exact reason why i decided to take up a part time job at Giant Hypermarket as a cashier.
Yep! You heard me right,balls.

I have an interview tmr with that lady from Giant..i'm gonna be a part-time cashier siak. how cool. ala...extra income la..no harm kan.. furthermore Giant's just a 10 mins walk from my house. =)

And so my next week will be filled with appoinments, one after another..Alhamdulillah for me, that spells income. Just ended an hour long conversation with my boss regarding the scheduled appointment i have tmr with Cik Aida from Rias Andaman. Been told she'll be a fierce client, so he's dropping me my what to and what nots to do.

How lucky can i get? A boss who's willing to make sure i get my income and one who wants to see me fly and soar in his company. Oh i love my job.

And yeeeehawww i have an appointment with the Goddess of the bridal industry, Puan Fatimah Mohsin sometime this week.


So yup!

Basically that spelt my monday la.

Slacking my ass off at home..monday blues la katerkan.. and Azman's been amazing, i love that brat of mine.

And ya know what?? Boss introduced me to probably one of the most wonderful innovations in the world - a tracker site.

Ngyahahah!!! So this way, i can track down roughly who, from where and how many people view my bloody blog. How cool. Sorry la i jakon to such things la... i know, im cheap in that sense.


And now Mum's beside me discussing about possible advertising with urusan pengantin. so cute right...my mum using urusan pengantin to advertise her expertise - internet networking. my mum, the dynamic entrepreneur that she is.

"Mum : What??!! What are you writing???" - mum's reading as im typing this. -_-


Ok now i gots to go. Gooznait~!!

I just finished watching Khalnayak on Zee TV and Woh My God!!! it kicks ass!!

nothing beats a better way to end your lazy sunday and rough week none other than some real old school hindi movie packed with nice songs, gorgeous actors, unrealistic fighting sequences and a super cheesy story line. agree?? haha.

But seriously...Khalnayak not only came with me falling in lup with Sanjay Dutt all over again, it also got the song "Choli Ke Piche Kya Hain" ( what's underneath my bra ) stuck in my head.
Shitness that song is the bomb i tell ya. A very provocative one indeed! hahahaiiii.

Anyhoos.

I swear i have lots to talk about, even though it has been a slacky sunday...but it's cos it's Sunday!!

And yes so...i have lots to talk about, but first up!
I'd like to go on a "Mira! Dream on!" spree. You'll see why in a minute or so... khekhekhe...

##

Khalnayak, starring Sanjay Dutt, has always been a kind of rememberance for me of a certain someone. His name is Shakeel.. he's a friend, and his fantasy over Mr. Dutt has won him into this blog entry.. haha. don't worry, Shak's straight.

So now, i am going to put up some pics... some of you might laugh at me, but i'm doing my very very frikkkin best to let you see the resemblance la since we're all on the topic of BOLLYWOOD.
Here are some people in my life who have a queer (if not much, atleast some) resemblance to a few indian actors..

First up, none other than Shakeel Bhai himself and Mr Dutt. =)




I think it's in the sleepy eyes. Agree? Saf HAS to agree with me on this one.

Next, a new found friend, someone who's been passed this comment quite often..so here she is..Madia Suhana and her look-alike, Bipasha Basu.




Is it in the smile? The eyes?? i dunno...you figure. but seriously, there's this fatal similarity, i daresay!!

Next.
I've been meaning to do this since the first time i saw her. Passed a few comments here and there, but here's the real deal. I'm sorry Bhee if this isn't a flattering pic of you..but it's the best i could find to have the resembelance. =)




See?! See?! It's her and Kareena!! i swear she looks more like this bollyhotty real life.

Next one.
Ehem...*coughs*.
You can smaaaaack me in my face for doing this, but i am holding my grounds firm - Azman and Akshay Kumar. No joke, really. laugh lah, laugh! humph!




Kan kan kan!?!?!? Hahahaha.... i swear i'll shoot myself in the head the next time i do this... but you gotta agree with me... Ok lah, atleast a little bit ya... the upper lip? the chin? the eyebrows? i dunno, you decide. But Azman's mine and he's delicious the way he is. Ngyahahah.

Next is.. well... Who else but my darling Safrina???
As much as people tell her she looks a little like Kareena Kapoor, i'm sorry Saf but i beg to differ. I've given that honour to your sis who i daresay looks more like Kareena than Karishma does.
So Saf, i'm being real real honest, i think you look like Tabu... really...




It's the nose... and the chin... and the very heavy eyelids. Agree?
Well... i don't know. But Tabu's a bombshell so don't worry ya. Hahahahaiii.

##

I'm having so much fun fishing out such trivial entertainment. It kicks my ass, literally.
Hahah.
Now you guys decide lah if i'm blind.

-_-


So yeah... now since i spent so much knuckle energy on this topic alone, i'm left with a minimal amount to go on ranting.. my mind has lost it's organisational seance and so i think i shall decide to end here. And bless me, i don't celebrate Mother's Day so yeah no tributes from my side.. Everyday without fail i shower my mother with love by kissing her so it's all good yeah.

K lah sum it all up lah eh.

Sunday morning was spent at Sultan Mosque attending the Kursus Umrah. One word (ok make that two) : Spiritually Satisfying. I'm actually amazed at how excited i am to kiss the holy land, no joke. Seeing the real video footage of the whole atmosphere there, i'm so so super excited to get my spiritual and mental being there. It brought me to tears, the whole footage. Knowing i'll be there...knowing i'll be seeing the holy Ka'abah. Woweeee i can't wait!

And yes, gonna go jubah,kurma,henna and kajjal shopping there! I'll be bringing home Zam-Zam too, passing some of it and some dates to Nadia and Ed to fill up their new home, Insyallah.

And get this ; there's a forever supply of people from all over the world making their tawaf around the Ka'abah twenty four seven a week, three hundred and sixty five days a year. The supply never ends till Day of Judgement arrives and i learnt something new today ; God is nearer to you than your jugular vein is. No no, i'm not preaching here.. just sparing a thought so yeah.

##

Haiya!!! so much for minimal knuckle energy!!

I wants to go now!! Gooznait!!

Hello hello... it's the weekends again, hooray.

Excuse me for my previous entry, quite an opinionated one indeed. Back to the normal day to day rant shall we...?

Friday was spent well, i met Azman after three weeks!!! imagine that!!!

I was a bunch of nerves as the time approached nearer and nearer to see his face.. crazy one came down all the way to pasir ris just to meet me and we had lunch together, before he had to shoot off to Stagmont Camp again at four to draw rifle for duty.

Azman was at Pasir Ris Central, when the most heart-warming thing happened. He bumped into my youngest sister Feeqah while she was there buying bubble tea... best part was, the two approached each other, and he was open to the fact that he was gonna meet me..

I mean, finally..he's inching his way in again..slowly this time. Very, very slowly.

So then the bus i was supposed to board took forever to arrive, and my tummy was in a twist already by the time Azman called the second time. Imagine this - a person i have been meaning to meet for three weeks! three challenging weeks...finally, i got to meet him.

And so he waited for me, seated by the corner table of the kopitiam and i walked in, smiling.
We had our lunch, then headed down to westplaza to grab some tidbits for his duty.

A funny incident happened while shopping for cup noodles at NTUC, Azman started being all mat y-pee,sending me into a fit. That asswipe, always smacking a fat smile on my face.

Then it was time for him to depart for camp, the shittiest feeling overwhelming me..Feeqah bumped into us again, this time she wanted money..and Azman being so super sweet, actually spared my sister some cash without thinking twice.
So the cab arrived and he had to go...he planted a warm, satisfying kiss on my forehead and uttered "I love you..", gave me one last look, and headed into the cab.
That was the best end to my Friday, swear.

It was that kiss, the kiss that means more than just a plantation of love ; for a kiss on the forehead is very very special. And mind you, not any man dares to kiss the woman on the forehead, unless it is a really really special moment.

Right, now i'm being all emo-macam nak muntah gitu-mushy mushy about that kiss Azman gave me. Cos you see.. he really does mean the world to me.. and i really can't disclose much, just that Insyallah, he and i get to where we want to go, together..

##

Ok enough of the guy stuff.

Vivo City with the girls was next on the list. Spent my Friday evening with Tika and Saf and as always, i had a blast!!
Cracked my sides with them. It was Saf's first time to Vivo (her being pathetic) and Tika made oreo and strawberry muffins!!! The shit i tell you..i can forsee that woman to be a real good home maker. She'll just cook or bake something out of the bluest reasons and we'll be happy munching and eating away whatever she made. Tika's the bomb la.

So yeah we went to Vivo's 3rd floor open air area where they had the little lake, and we wet our feet and walked in the water barefoot, something very very new to us..pics were taken by Tika's handy cam phone, so i shall update them later la.. very lazy..

##

And so Saturday came and flew by, i spent the entire day resting cos i'm down with my monthly pms.. sucks i tell you.. makes me feel very lethargic.

Oh wells ya'll. Tomoro's Sunday...the last day of the weekends.

Have a blast!!

This is a story of how people can run their mouths about each other and ruin lives.

Tell me why... Family doesn't always mean family? I don't understand for one reason or the other, the concept of this family. His is a really tough ordeal, and all he can do is prove to these people he calls "family" wrong. Their stereotype on him is somewhat near-fatal ; and i really feel sad for him. But mind you, when Azman gets his liberty and freedom after October (for certain reasons) , they'll be biting their nails at seeing him fly - something he's been restrained and imprisoned of.


For once, it has set in.. the regret. But no doubt at that point of time, somebody haaad to do it. I slapped him across his face once on a saturday night at prinsep street and it was no joke. I thought it really really was the end ya know. That bitch injected a certain kind of angst and rage in me ; i didn't think twice. I stormed down to prinsep st and called that man out and gave him a piece of my mind - 2 tight slaps across the face and a scratch from neck downwards,tearing his shirt sleeve.

Maybe it was cos i didn't believed in myself. I didn't believe in the relationship he and i shared at that point of time. I was so consumed in myself ; i forgot to think if he was ever human. I listened to people who didn't really matter much, who came with needless conflict, and who in some way or another didn't want us to be together.

Hearing all sorts of stories and probably lies, i couldn't help but think all i need is to incure pain upon him. Which i did la..of course. And by hurting him, i hurt myself too...

Gosh...thinking back, i realise it was all juvenile. Very very juvenile.. i wasn't protected by my own confidence back then.. instead, i was sheilding behind rage in denial. How sad. I opted to plant myself on others' happiness in hopes that maybe i too, could gain something from them.
December came and i started clubbing like a maniac. Parties for sure was a way of release, a way of building what i thought i had lost. And often sometimes i bumped into him in a club, dirty-dancing away with another bitch..always glancing at my direction to see if i was aware of such a fiasco, whether i'd be jealous or simply affected. But i chose to ignore, every single time. I boiled inside, but i smiled as i shook my jellies, basking in the pyrotechnics of the club's ambience. But there was this once when he had that bitch's hands grasping his ass and her grinding him all over, and i happened to look - we caught each other's glimpse - and i saw that look of shame in his eyes.

All this i believe, was the work of the Devil. The Devil really did play his tricks on me..and funny thing for both me and Azman is that when we were close to the Devil, money was like a waterfall.
We hadn't a worry in the world if we wanted to club or drink ; not a worry in the world if we wanted to go karaoke or what not, for money was always there..as bad as it could get, we always had friends who'd pay for our drinks to let us gonjeng.

Yup... that was life when we were demons.


But life took a turn for us when i hit the wall. And seeing me hit the wall, getting up, dusting off my shoulders and changing direction, Azman followed suit as well.

He realised that for a man his age, all these is nothing he needed. He needed love. Something he thought he had in me ; but cos i had all that temper going on , he misplaced seeing it. And i guess, everything had happened for a reason. A reason that's showing clearer each day...


I have no idea why i decided to suddenly sit down and pen down those thoughts..maybe cos i came across two photographs that speak a thousand words. Each one of us tell a different story...and mine's not been the easiest either.




Leandra and Arsyad, Azman's cousin and so called "family".




Myself and Azman.


Once upon a time, we were dancing side by side with horns. =)

What a day. Had my first commission roped in and i'm finally tasting the fruits of my labour.

Had a playground session with Safrina at Ubi. She's an addictive person la. The more you meet her, the more you'd wanna spend time with her.
She was in shambles cos she was missing somebody soooo bad. -_-


Anyhoooos. Tmr comes a big big day. Gotta do lotsa things. So i need rest.

Gooznait.

Hey hey..

I had a blast today. Day was spent with much laughter. I'm all smiles now. =)

Started the day with a bitching session with Azman.. it's funny how idiotic and verbally ruthless human beings can be, especially if they're your own relative.
Our topic of conversation was about this particular woman in his life, someone who's kinda brought him up since he was young..no no, not his mum..someone as close to him as his own mum, but yeah u get my drift. I can't mention names here. Might be too dangerous.

She is one hell of a woman lah. A bloody hypocrite to be exact. It's funny, cos where in the bluest hell did i ever find the respect to look up to her eh? The good conversation (padahal bitching session) i had with him just now proved to be fruitful and an eye-opener.

Like he said, the saddest day of her life would be when Azman and i join forces. Insyallah, it will be coming soon..so sit tight lady, and wait for your turn to get the bitch slap. =)


##

On the contrary,
i had my menginitis and influenza jap taken just now at tan tock seng. went with my whole family, so u could imagine the ruckus we were making while in the car on the way...what a lovely bunch of crazy kins i have.. they're just hilarious lah. i've always enjoyed impromptu family outings where everyone's happy.

Since it was 2 injections that each of us had to take, Sharrah started panicking and thought that her whole world was coming to an end. How cute of her right...that fatso. And while the nurses were happily injecting her cellulite-clad arms,trying their best to make it as least painful as possible, she was panting in fear and anxiety as if she was in labour! My goodness, that sister of mine really drama-mama i tell you. I was ripping my ass laughing at her la!

So yeah...after the japs mum blanja us at Starbucks..so sweet of my mother. All of us had cheesecakes and muffins, and i had my sinful oreo cheesecake. It's high time i quit on it man. It's addictive balls!!

##

Soon after, dad dropped me off at Chinatown where i picked up my Jaanu from work.

Safrina is officially demented. She and I spent 80% of the time just now laughing at imaginably trivial things, and now i am left too tired and taxed cos of all that laughter.

We met at Chinatown.. had dinner at McD Chinatown Point and had ourselves seated beside a table of not one but three Indian Nationals. How entertaining. And throughout the entire time seated there (during dinner and the bitching session after dinner), Saf was playing-playing eyes with the Indian guy in orange. Don't deny eh Saf... I know your pantat gatalness. Hahaiiii.

Then we decided to head home, not until we decided to pay Jamal Kazura Aromatics a visit. According to reliable resourse (ehem..my father), the guy selling perfumes there is hot gorgeous to the maximum. So us being aimless, young, single, free, unattached and above all feeeemale, decided to go size him up.

And to our dismay, the shop was closed for renovasi. Thanks eh.

So no fret, we were laughing at each other at the mere thought of it ; so we headed down to Sarbat Bhai's stall for some teh tarik. I opted for green tea cos i was thirsty. And then a funny incident with a stray cat and a mat in slippers sent me into fits again.

Haiyoooo...i tell you...outings with Safrina just makes me go crazy. I can literally forget about the world and my worries, no joke. She's like my ganja, my ecstasy, my Chivas.. She's probably designed to be my magic woman.

Enough on her lah. Wait she kembang reading this. But at the end of the day, i swear i love every part of her. The way she laughs, the way she panics, the way she slaps me when she's in fits...above all, i simply love her. =)

And no, i will never turn lesbian on her cos i'm equally in love with Azman as well..so i'm willfully straight,thanks.

And like i said, If Atikah and Mul were to be there, i think Atikah would already be tearing her sides and Mul would prolly faint after laughing too much. I miss us four!

##

Now,

i am sleepy, tired and oh so tempted to crash on my bed. But i gotta sort out some paperwork first before i sleep.

Gooznait people.




I am in love..with a bangla. *giggles*



Nonetheless, i enjoyed my day very very much.

Hey hey... surprise surprise... It's sunday night already,balls.

How fast time flies. It's scary..faster than the speed of sound i suppose.

I am in need of chillaxing and unwinding under the ballet of stars..feel the cool breeze slap my indian face..and breathing in the masala-smelling air.

That is, if i had all the freedom in the world to go out at night again. But seriously, it's been so long since i ventured into the night.


Oh weezy i gots to go. I'm getting quite random which might make you puke. So gooznait my lovelies.

I'm feeling fiiiine on a scorching friday afternoon...the weekends are here baybeh!!

Dunno why i so look forward to the weekends, padahal everyday of my life is like a weekend.
Uish.

I guess it's finally time for us to slow down...unwind...and be grateful that it's the weekends again. Oh unless you're like some of my friends who work on weekends or half-days on saturdays.
Well, that's life.

##

I am in love with bhangra, i swear i am!

Catching Spiderman 3 later on with the sisters..got them a treat from my first pay. Sweet kan aku.

And i realise i can't do 2 things at a time ya know. Ho wells.
Actually i got nothing to talk about...

So i shall end right here.

Take care,balls!

Killed by an African Bullet.

I succumbed to slumber at 3 in the morning last night (or just now, whichever you prefer) after sitting through Black Hawk Down. Some of you might think i'm slowwww but hell, i'm no movie junkie so when i do get my ass to sit through an entire movie, i make sure it's worth my watch.


Black Hawk Down made me feel like i should be a man. I know, macam paham but really.. the movie just gets you hooked onto it's effects and how bullets go flying everywhere and such. But it's besides the bullets and the gunning, it's seeing the dirt on the soldiers' faces and seeing how screwed they know they were. It's how they even get to slot in the geographical beauty of Somalia as a country - and her people. How blue skies turn black and how, for some unseen reasons, the old infrastructure of Somalia's delapidated buildings never seemed to make way even after the arsenal of bullets and bombs.

This i say, was a damn good war movie la!! But why i decided to sit my heavy (and i mean heavy) ass through the movie wasn't cos of Josh Hartnett's cute face or my fascitnation for military men ; i decided to do so cos i got to see another man's land - this time, not through discovery channel or CNA. It was another man's land where war was their afternoons and fear was what they breathed. Each bullet fired was another man/woman/kid's death. And for that, i opened my eyes. Opened my eyes to the fact that not only somewhere,someone is hungry...but also somewhere,someone is killed for living.

Now i know why it is Shazia's dream to help the poor ailing kids in Afghanistan. Why she's slogging her ass for studies in medicine to in hope, be able to graduate and be of help to those in need regardless of colour and religion. Why people in the Media choose to be in Media, why people in Law choose to be in Law, and why people in the Arts choose to be in Arts. It's all cos we have different causes for ourselves..but when we do sit down and face the real world, noone is spared with a second chance to breathe. You can't help but shed a tear for the real world.

##

Ok, away from Somalia and back to Singapore.

Feeqah is being a bitch again. Being 15 doesn't mean she has the right to be a bitch. And being 15 isn't a mere excuse to claim she's "growing up" and that all this attitude is due to the raging hormones inside of her.
All this doesn't mean she can shout at my mother and not get scolded for that.
When i saw my mother cry in the morning, i was thinking to myself ; I used to do that to her as well.
I wasn't the easiest 15 yeard old you could handle,but even with all that rebel and angst, i never dared shout at my own mother. Or retaliated, in any manner. I was scared to my wit's ass of my father back then, i never dared stepped on his groove. I've had my fair share of lined back and blue-blacks, but it was all in the name of discipline. I knew i've had it too far.

But with this bitch (!!!!!!!!) hasn't tasted nothing yet. For her time, she's got 3 adults (Well almost adults) to go through. The gentle sensitive mother who breaks down when she's pissed of or hurt, the hot-tempered fiery father and the lenient but temperamental sister who doesn't tolerate kids being rude.

The other night after i noticed Feeqah being on the phone everynight for the past 2 weeks just yakking away unproductively, i questioned her, and it turned out to be a fiery argument between us two. In the end, she left me speechless by saying..

"Eh, you shut up lah. You don't even have yourself a diploma, you want to talk to me. Not even educated, want to talk much..i don't even look at people like you, school drop out. Atleast i'm studying and gunning to get into a poly and get a diploma."

Mind you, that was my 15 yr old sister talking to me k.


So i'm like a ticking time bomb. One more i say, just one more wrong move of hers, and she's going down like paper. I won't hesitate to lay my hands on her, if that is as much as she deserves to learn the meaning of respect.

Kids nowadays learn life the hard way. Like always, we always gave her choices. She chose to be a bitch. Well, let's see who's the bigger bitch.

Looking back at my old photos.. i've finally come to the need to grow out my hair and eyebrows.
It's been eons since i did threading, and it's been even longer since i did anything to my hair except to chop it off.

The day was good, this week's been rather fast. Next thing i know it'll be thursday already.

Woke up at 12 noon and the moment i switched on my hp, Ali Baba called and was screaming "B help meeee!!!!!! I'm dying!!!!!!".

That keling kiak full of surprises and drama ya know. One of the many things responsible for my smile. =)

Just woke up from a lazy evening nap..I have an appointment tonight at Hougang - do wish me luck. And yeah yeah! I'm going KL!!

What gets me going,gets me talking. What He brings me to, He brings me through.

Twenty
elegantly bolder&badder
INSANE.
fake and dismissive

travel.gossip.girls&boys.

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and i fly again.