good things when short are twice as good.

would you do anything in the world for the person who makes you most happy? would you bear losing the person you're most comfortable with just because of circumstance??

i seriously don't know what my luck is with the male species. and i'm not saying this after another failed episode with love. no,no. nothing like that. i'm just sitting here on my ass on a rainy tuesday night typing away the words that first come to mind.

easier said, i'm in zen mode.

but seriously ah,

when you've met a person who has made you soooo happy...beyond comparison, beyond explanation...would you bear losing the person to circumstance?

it's not about the wait. it's not about not being able to have the person in your arms again. but fuck, it's about not having any circumstance coming in the way between the two.

seriously, it's like the magnet i've been searching more.. the connection is out of this world and he just blows my mind away ah, literally. this connection i tell you..is deep. deep.

i didn't want to expose anything from our relation ah. i didn't want to let the world know as yet about we two. but ah it's just fucking me up la..the circumstance. i wanna be real sure this time round..and i don't wanna be mistaken again.

and knowing you deeper, i know i'll not be mistaken. i know i have you for real and i know you're real. i admire your integrity and honesty, that's what's bringing me closer to you. for when i'm with you, i don't have to lie to myself and be fearful of whether or not it's real..cos you are real.

we've been meeting every fucking day since the first time we met. and even with your tight schedule, you'll always squeeze in time to meet me even if it means minusing off a few hours from your sleep at night. even if it means a simple casual lunch that i have to rush through with cos of time constraint. even if it means after i've met my girlfriends and just about to retire for home.

i dunno ah Bhai,

you're just amazing. BUT. you're not perfect. you come with a baggage that i know you'll dispose off once your mind's clear but that spells me having to have patience in abundance. and me being me, i don't know if i can do it. tell me ah Bhai, do i have to prove myself further? do i have to impress you more? i know that's not the case ah Bhai cos with you, i'm real. Realer than ever ah Bhai. and i know you never want me to be fake, never want me to fake anything at all. you'd accomodate to me the way i'm accomodating to you.

you asked me just now in the car,
'why you being so nice to me?'.

i tell you ah Bhai. if ah..that baggage of yours never existed ah.. i can daresay this ah Bhai.. in time to come, i'd give you my allll ah sia.. my alll.
cos you've proved that you really are worth it ah. just that...at the end of the day... the hindrance is...your baggage.

Ok ah Bhai i tired and i want to sleep already ah. Sorry if just now i didn't help you out much by advicing you further or what bullshit fuck..but i'm confident to say that i did make you feel better and consoled you enough. you're a big boy. you can think. i just want you to stop punching yourself for it.. i just want you to stop feeling fucked up about yourself about what's happening in your life right now. like i said, who the fuck you kidding boy. Two things - don't ever deny yourself and don't ever lie to yourself.

You're gonna go far. and i don't want this to end..not now atleast.

so i'll hear from u again when tmr comes, just like always.. we'll talk again at ungodly times of the day and then we'll hope to squeeze in time to meet each other again..

till then,
take care and Tawaqal.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

greek god 1:44 AM

My Greek God.

Michalis Xatzigiannis is the sex

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

1:37 PM

From Anouk Spitzer.

"My name is Anouk Spitzer. My father, Andre Spitzer, was a member of the Israeli team that competed in the Olympic Games in Munich, Germany in September, 1972.

35 years have passed since the brutal massacre of our loved ones, the Munich 11. For us, the families of the 11 innocent victims it seems that time does not heal the wounds.

For almost 34 years we have walked the long, lonely road, knowing that we will never forget and never forgive.

We, the 14 orphans, most of who were only babies at the time, have become adults. Our mothers have tried to raise us without hate in our hearts- a difficult feat since nobody has ever taken responsibility for this violent act of terror.

We were never looking for revenge, only for justice.

Our mission is to remind the world of what happened in Munich 1972, because we know that those who forget history are bound to repeat it.This reminds the world that terror will never win. We have to speak up, remember, remind and condemn such acts so that things like this will never happen again.

Our loved ones came to the Olympic games to realize their dreams- to participate in the festival of love, brotherhood and fair play, they proudly held the Israeli flag when they entered the Olympic stadium but they all came home in coffins wrapped in that same flag.

I would like to thank you for giving me this opportunity to honor my father. I was only 2 months old when he died and I know that he must be looking down at this very moment with tremendous pride.

In their memory, compete with pride, brotherhood and fair play.It is through these Games, that I can be assured the my father and his fellow competitors will be remembered for generations to come. Thank you."

munich massacre 12:49 PM

Timecheck : 0350 hrs on 24th Oct 2007.

I have just finished watching a documentary on National Geography about the 1972 Munich Olympic Massacre.

One word ; riveting.

It makes me wonder... how secure is our present world, really? How we Singaporeans live our days, in the comfort of our own skin..taking for granted that we're really safe.

Noone in this world can guarantee us proper security,no?

As quoted from one of the verses in the holy Quran, He who kills a man, kills the entire of Mankind..

Terrorism is really a fearful phenomenon. And we can't deny that somehow or rather we are affected by it's plague. But seriously, it isn't anything new. It's been going on since the time of our forefathers and has been a century old tradition in many parts of the world, considered to be the way of life. It's how Palestinian boys become men.

I've seen footages of how Terrorism incurs brutality upon innocent lives. I've seen pictures, widely spread through emails, of a Palestinian boy crying in desperation while holding his bloodied,dying mother in his arms while he spends his last few moments with her. People in that part of the world live like this everyday, not guaranteed whether they'd see the next sunrise.

When a woman is killed, she could've been a mother, or a daughter.. For Heaven's sake, she could've even been a wife..

And what crime could an innocent child possibly commit to be a victim of Terror? So brutally murdered in broad daylight as if he didn't deserve to live?

Noone deserves to die.. Only God has the right to take life away, to pull out the final bit of soul from you..

Seeing how the events of the 1972 Munich Massacre took place, i wonder if what the Palestinians did to the Israeli athletes brought them any pleasure. They (terrorists from the Palestinian guerillas Black September) held 9 athletes hostage, in return demanded the Israeli government to release 243 Palestinian prisoners held captive in several Israeli prisons.

The ordeal took an entire day from dusk till dawn, ended in a fierce exchange of arsenal and bloodbath, killing all 9 Jewish athletes, 5 Palestinian gunmen and 2 of the terrorists.

Did it bring Palestin pride? I doubt so.

But it left about 14 children fatherless, including the then-only-5-week-old baby daughter of Andre Spitzer.

I'm not trying to defame my fellow muslims by regarding the Jews. Yes, those athletes were Jews - the most poignant tale of all was Andre Spitzer's ; Israeli Fencing Coach for the 1972 Olympic games. He was married about a year back to the love of his life and they had just given birth to baby girl 5 weeks back - How even after his death, his wife struggled for 20 years to piece back together the events of that uneventful day. Ankie Spitzer managed to fit the puzzle and finally made herself heard for no woman should ever go though what she did ; losing her husband in such a manner and having to upbring their child ( the only memory left of him ) single-handedly.

My respect to a woman of such strength and determination, driven by love.

Ankie looking at the bed of her deceased husband,

where he spent the last day of his life on..

##

Terrorism isn't the way and every human being deserves the right to live.

Wasalaam.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

brought me to tears 5:23 AM

Nadia Cheong's blog entry posted on the 2nd of Oct 2007 was one of the most riveting blog entries i've ever read in my years blogging.

Reading through, i summoned tears of gratitude.

I actually cried reading her post. You know difficult it is to get Mira to cry? Before i even continue, i'm no stone-hearted person either. The reason why i said it's difficult for me to cry isn't due to any bilogical defficiency or psychological disorder. It's just that i have a strong sense of faith an passion for life, hence i try my level best to not shed tears for certain things in life.

But reading through her post, i fell to my knees in surrender. Not because it was a story of hers. But because it was the truth. Truth about mankind and life after death. About God and His power over us mere servants. Moreover, it was the truth about the world's most beautiful phenomenon, ISLAM.

Sometimes i wonder, how long do i have in this world and why i was born as a human being and not anything less. Why was i from a mother named Salamah and a father, Abdullah? Why was i made the eldest of two sisters and why do i evolve to become who i am today?

Why do i have certain people in my life and why was i faced with certain other challenges? The whys make an endless list yet through time, it is unanswered. But faith comes to those who believe ; it is said and i can't agree more.

Have you ever had, at any point in your life, felt like there is this voice inside of you that brings you through each day? Some kinda gut feeling or in other terms, instinct that never failed you? Where does this come from?

You know, i could sit down here on my ass and ponder on this psychological thought all my life till the next Ramadhan but i'll go nowhere but Lostville.

It is a shame that people are met with challenges each day and do not take it upon themselves to sit down and reflect on it. While others out there share good lives, fortunate enough to breeze through teenhood and early adolescent years, there are others who crawl through growing up, suffering at each stage of revolution.

Then there's the part where Satan sits on you like you BFF and he hounds you to go astray. But hell, i believe that however astray a person can be, he/she will always bow down and return to the correct path.

Looking back at the photograph of Ar-Raudah and the Holy Ka'abah i hang proudly above my headboard, i remember telling myself - never in a million years did i ever think i could come to as close as i did to God. With all the sins i drowned myself into, all the empty happiness and pretended contentment with life, i was nowhere close to being grateful or to God.
I look at the picture of Makkah Muqarramah and i remember saying to myself once that i'm not ready to visit the Holy land of God. But early this year, i believe, i was invited upon special request to visit Al-Haram and perform my pilgrimage. Because i remember that day when my mother summoned the question - "Meer, nak pergi Umrah?" - and i sat there looking at her and without a doubt, answered "Yes Ma.".

And so the journey began and now i am here.

At this point of my life again when everything would normally seem like a haze, my heightened faith in God has helped me attain a calm and peaceful stature.

I'm not pious, nor am i 100% devoted to my religion as yet, but all i am saying is.. i was once an impecible human being and with challenges in my life, i turned out to be pretty ok.

No more internal battles that i thought i'd fight on my own cos now i know, I'm never alone.

And this Ramadhan has been a subtle affair for me. As i grow closer to what i call my family and open up a new avenue of challenges. How i was able to circumvene trivial matters pertaining to my single life and not let it affect me the way it did one year ago when i was dating a scumbag.
How i've learnt to prioritise whats more important than the other and who's more important that what.

And at the end of the day, whats important to me is not knowing that i'm young and be stupid, but know that i'm young and that i'm growing older. To know that what i do and how i spend my youth will affect my golden days and that i will be questioned about it in my life hereafter.

Nothing in this world could put a frown on my face anymore, nor could it break my already mended heart again. Because now onwards, Mira wants to be on the safe side. I'm done with living my life recklessly and carelessly. I'm all up for being careful and safe, homely and warm.

It's that fuzzy feeling that greets me at the end of every tiring day, knowing that what and who i have in my life right now is all that matters. For new friendships that have yet to come, my time with them would be later.

I am grateful. Eid Mubarak ya Muslimah.

twisties 4:31 AM

Eid Mubarak in advance to all my muslim friends out there.

Have not been blogging due to the unexpected twists and turns in life nowsadays. Don't get me wrong, they're fun. And challenging, and very worthwhile.

Eidulfitri is just around the corner. And i remember my life one year ago. Looking back at the past one year of my life, it's been amazing.

It is really funny and scary how change can affect your life in just one year.

One year folks, is all you need.

Alright folks, i'm very random actually today. So bye now.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

woahhow 1:50 PM

It's 4 in the morning and i just got back from a short trip to jb with adib and friend.
It was impromptu and it was super fun with his dad's car..and it proved that 3 heads are better than 1 when it comes to directions in jb.

Bought ciggies, had sahur at singgah(tak)selalu and topped up petrol for his Ford. He ah..speed demon i tell you. We arrived at about 0130hrs, and left jb at 0330 hrs. and i reached home at 0345 hrs. madness.

you see, i realised something.

planning things aren't always easy and the way to go. Here's why.

- Like i've always wanted to have a karaoke session sometime during Ramadhan or after, i ended up having an impromptu outing with Liah the other night at Cashbox and we had a decent,swinging good time.

-Then i always thought that Saf,Mul,Tikah and I should go geylang-ing together sometime, then voila! we coincidentally ended up at geylang last friday night - unplanned.

- Lastly, i did wanna visit JB sometime during Ramadhan..but with the boys of course ; if anything were to be planned. But noooo...it was super impromptu with adib and gadafi and the next thing i know, i'm across the causeway already.

*BIG GRIN*

I'm glad i got to feed certain desires. Then the rest of the remaining Ramadhan will be spent grooming and spring-cleaning. Oh and i'm down with sore eyes, so my life kinda sucks as of now.
It's been good...my Ramadhan. It helps that i haven't gotten my menses, so that means i've not left any days..and am hoping that these last ten nights of Ramadhan would bring me the opportunity to experience Lailatul Qadar, the Night of Power. Insyallah.

I hope Shazia reads this and gets the hint, that insane woman. i miss her to bits and i need her like a minah needs her sex. ( as quoted by Vish the hottie)

Alright you guys..i'm off to Lala land for now. toodles.

Burp

What gets me going,gets me talking. What He brings me to, He brings me through.

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