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Tuesday, October 30, 2007
would u? 11:02 AM

would you do anything in the world for the person who makes you most happy? would you bear losing the person you're most comfortable with just because of circumstance??



i seriously don't know what my luck is with the male species. and i'm not saying this after another failed episode with love. no,no. nothing like that. i'm just sitting here on my ass on a rainy tuesday night typing away the words that first come to mind.



easier said, i'm in zen mode.



but seriously ah,



when you've met a person who has made you soooo happy...beyond comparison, beyond explanation...would you bear losing the person to circumstance?



it's not about the wait. it's not about not being able to have the person in your arms again. but fuck, it's about not having any circumstance coming in the way between the two.



seriously, it's like the magnet i've been searching more.. the connection is out of this world and he just blows my mind away ah, literally. this connection i tell you..is deep. deep.


i didn't want to expose anything from our relation ah. i didn't want to let the world know as yet about we two. but ah it's just fucking me up la..the circumstance. i wanna be real sure this time round..and i don't wanna be mistaken again.

and knowing you deeper, i know i'll not be mistaken. i know i have you for real and i know you're real. i admire your integrity and honesty, that's what's bringing me closer to you. for when i'm with you, i don't have to lie to myself and be fearful of whether or not it's real..cos you are real.

we've been meeting every fucking day since the first time we met. and even with your tight schedule, you'll always squeeze in time to meet me even if it means minusing off a few hours from your sleep at night. even if it means a simple casual lunch that i have to rush through with cos of time constraint. even if it means after i've met my girlfriends and just about to retire for home.

i dunno ah Bhai,

you're just amazing. BUT. you're not perfect. you come with a baggage that i know you'll dispose off once your mind's clear but that spells me having to have patience in abundance. and me being me, i don't know if i can do it. tell me ah Bhai, do i have to prove myself further? do i have to impress you more? i know that's not the case ah Bhai cos with you, i'm real. Realer than ever ah Bhai. and i know you never want me to be fake, never want me to fake anything at all. you'd accomodate to me the way i'm accomodating to you.

you asked me just now in the car,
'why you being so nice to me?'.

i tell you ah Bhai. if ah..that baggage of yours never existed ah.. i can daresay this ah Bhai.. in time to come, i'd give you my allll ah sia.. my alll.
cos you've proved that you really are worth it ah. just that...at the end of the day... the hindrance is...your baggage.

Ok ah Bhai i tired and i want to sleep already ah. Sorry if just now i didn't help you out much by advicing you further or what bullshit fuck..but i'm confident to say that i did make you feel better and consoled you enough. you're a big boy. you can think. i just want you to stop punching yourself for it.. i just want you to stop feeling fucked up about yourself about what's happening in your life right now. like i said, who the fuck you kidding boy. Two things - don't ever deny yourself and don't ever lie to yourself.

You're gonna go far. and i don't want this to end..not now atleast.

so i'll hear from u again when tmr comes, just like always.. we'll talk again at ungodly times of the day and then we'll hope to squeeze in time to meet each other again..

till then,
take care and Tawaqal.

Burp
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