our seventh month..and counting.

not defunct. as yet.

fiskus

solo

lonely

sharing my life with you

Salaam

a few good reads.

what women want.

some's up

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

July 2007

August 2007

September 2007

October 2007

November 2007

December 2007

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

December 2008

June 2009

It is the 30th of June.

My 19th birthday.

To be really honest, i feel young. The figure isn't really that of an old age. I am young. I really am.

Ok so yes, 19 years ago i was worming out of my mother's womb and into this world of vice.
And it's only this day that i get called 'baby' by my parents and a good pillow-thrashing from the demonic sisters.

Now i am sleepy. It's been a haspening day in Penang, and i'm looking forward to alot more kickass fun shit today.

Will be getting my birthday haircut, where i'm going G.I.

Ok no, not thaaat short. Just shorter than this short i'm sporting. Not that it matters anyways, i'm a woman in hijab.

So girl wonder has to have her beauty sleep cos travelling really does tire her. For those sweethearts to who wished me an advanced birthday, i thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Also, i'd like to wish all other june babies a belated birthday if i didn't get the chance to do so on time -

Adib, happy belated twentieth. Never been punctual for you for 3 years running.
Nazeem, happy belated twenty-sixth. I'll see you at your house tmr and we can both feeling2 birthday babies.
Sabri, happy belated twenty-third. Though i know you don't read this, no harm to wish you since i've not forgotten.
Nadia darling, happy belated twenty-second. I still owe you the korma from saudi. Heheh. Keep smiling the way you always do.

Ok er who else??

Oh yes. Last but not least, Happy belated twenty-sixth Harry. I love you bro!


To the rest of the world, your girl wonder's nineteen already and her kickass life story's just about to begin.

I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!

Goodbye you singaporeans, i'm off to Penang for the weekends!

Celebrating my birthday there with family and cousins. My nineteenth, my last teen year.

Brain jam right now, can't place what to say but take care folks!

Till Mira returns again.


This is girl wonder,

over and out.

Look at that zit. Shitttt it's huge.

I shall end this post with a "muke konek" with the english slang.

Minah tudong tak betol.

I realised something about myself - it's been ongoing but i just recently found the words to place it proper - that being jobless,actually bruises my ego.

Ok, not so much of an ego issue for me..more like my course for survival.

Yes.

JOBLESS = BRUISE TO EGO.

And yipee...my sunday was super mundane. thaaaanks.

Watched World Trade Centre with the cousins at their house. Jerked a tear or two..thumbs up for that watch.

So this year's nineteenth would be spent overseas. For the first time in my life, i'll be turning a year older beyond local shores. How interesting. The extended family's holding a surprise party for me..welcoming my nineteenth,indian style. Oh i love my indian family. *burp*

Alright, fine. As much as i think i can hold a perfect party, i wouldn't mind putting my hats off once in awhile for some other body to plan the party for me.

Just don't be a goon.

I can be smiling and all, but being jobless just robs me of my sanity at the end of every day.


Till i get proper employment,
this is Mira...over and outttt.



Listening to the sounds of Daddy Yankee and Wisin Y Yandel's No Me Dejes Solo.

If you're asking me, i'm in the mood to groove baby. No no, not club and jiggle my ass in a public place, more like just groove. Ya know, at home and all.

This song is still virgin for me. I've not danced it with the right person as yet. Don't matter where or when or how, i'll dance this song with the rightest partner i can ever find when i've found him. Just grinding to this song together would be a dream.

Anyways,

i'll be turning 19 in a week's time and this birthday has been the first birthday in a looong time that i won't be celebrating. Don't know what's wrong with my karma this year, but i feel like staying home and sleeping would be a better option than to celebrate it.

I have this heavy feeling that my weekends would be rather drag as like just now. Eurgh. I forgot that i used to dread the weekends cos of lack of activity. Seriously, i get so super lazy when it comes to the weekends. It's either i work - which i used to do for every weekend of my life last year - orrrr bumm around. No joke. Occassional outings with friends, but yeah.. it gets rather unproductive for me.

And Souher's crazy. got herself on a webcam while chatting with her and she's telling me all kinds of frightening stories.

Hahah.

I have this sudden urge to go sentosa.

GOD PLEASE...TELL ME WHY YOU DESIGNED ME LIKE THIS.


toodles.

i decided that my umrah trip won't be shared cos i'm just lost for words in explaining myself in that department. just know that the trip was phenominal, the experience, undescribable...

I am tired,shacked,in need of a damn good shiatsu.

I am tired of listening to the same complaints, same "eh, bills this month has gone up ah."..

I am just tired.

Of Urusan Pengantin and the shit pay i've not been getting. Of commission-based pay and extensive input of energy into job nature but no yields.

Oh and it's annoying when people have opinions to share but they do not disclose themselves,making it difficult for me to have a two-way proper intellectual conversation with them.

And whatever i did for the past few weeks or so, whether sinful or blessful, is none.of.your.fucking.business.

unless you're part of my family and you're really really concerned about me. unless you have a certain undying love for me,cos you're family? if you're not then why bother. sheesh.
and if you're wondering what i'm gonna turn out to be, relax can? i'm an ok girl lah. seriously.

Anyhoos.

It's time...for me...to start working like an ordinary Singaporean. Slog my ass off for better returns.

Yes yes, i am tired.

I do seriously think somehow i need a break from the parents and sisters.

Life in Singapore is suck, really. I've tasted peace and tranquility elsewhere that's why i daresay this.

I'm abit random now, cos i haven't gotten my first doze of nicotine as yet so i could get a little cranky.

Cranky as it is, i think i better go do something else more fruitful rather than sit around and wonder about the probabilities in life.

Oh and just before i leave,
of course i'm young, you dickhead. I'm nineteen.

Toodles.















































It's raining here in Singapore on a chilly saturday night. What better way to spend a rainy saturday night than to be at home, snuggling under some clean fresh sheets.

I'm in the living room with my dad, watching The Holiday, a dvd lent to me by Rina. Thanks girl, i think i'll love this movie.

According to her, it's a movie that's very very much like my life right now. We'll see yeah.

Just wishing the rest of you a wonderful saturday night's sleep or party ahead, and have a fruitful sunday morning.

Life's just nice.

Goodnight.


Miss my long hair though..

Wild nights, wild party and heavy boozin'.

Mistake.

Biggest mistake of my life. What was i thinking.

Oh and Sister had a fun time editing the photo making him look like an alienated version of Satan. How creative.

Right.

Amirah Eltayeb and PQ
Adam Eltayeb and PQ.
Cousins!
The kids on the wedding dais.
The big kid on the wedding dais.


Myself and PQ.
Sharrah and Adam.
Cousins and neice.




It's not that i don't want to share with you about my trip to Mecca, it's just that there's too much to say and i'm still a zombie. I'm still floating about aimlessly,not knowing where to start and how. I swear, my heart's not in singapore. balls!! i wanna get out of this country!!

i feel restricted,suddenly. it's like i'm tied down all over again.

Anyhoos.

Chanced upon an email i composed about half a year ago to the ex-boyfriend. Oh this is real shit i tell ya. I swear, when i read back, i kinda had this rush of adrenaline through my heart. I'm still figuring out what the hell it was yeah. Freaky shit.

"Hey there.
It's 3.30am Monday morning, and i should be sleeping.But heck, i can't. I can't stop thinking about us. You know what? It ain't that bad after all..thinking about us.
I don't know how else to put it across to you, so i just thought of dropping by an email. Whoever knows, maybe you check your mail at work? Oh wells.

Anyhoos.

Azman,Azman. It's been crazy. Absurd. Painful. Wonderful. Confusing. Amazing. Whatever.
But nonetheless, i can't deny that we were once very much in love. And that we were really happy wit each other. And that we thought we were contented with wat we had. I guess things took a change,sumhow,sumtime.

Things changed, we changed.

And it's sad, cos the good times were long gone even before it started.
I just wanna tell you.. that i love you.. and i daresay, there's no one else in the world who loves you the way i do. Please..give my Azman back to me.. the Azman i know who's always there for me.
Or at least, willing to talk to me.

I'm a lonely girl. But im pulling myself up again. i know i can. I'm strong.. and you know what? like i said, it's difficult to fathom my future without us.. weird..

Be true to me Azman, that's all that's needed. Let's hit the beach and talk. JUST TALK. talk things out, thrash it all out...cry it out, if need be. cos right now, i still care.
at the end of the day, i'll still be here with open arms. lay in my chest, feel like it's the rightest place to be Baby,cos i love you.. and i'll shelter you..

i don't know, the purpose of this email. just thought of letting you know..that im not enemy.
it's rather random..but i mean everything i say here.

How i long to hear you sing to me again, the way you always did.
You've touched me deep..and you've hurt me deep,too.
Never thought loving someone could be this tough.

Nor Azman Marican,
Mira loves you."

Right. And that was supposed to mean....? Ah madness, i'm mad you know. Never did officially say this but i'm crazy. God knows what i'm born for. Yeah, these the kinda nights i feel so unbothered about the world. Like there is even a word like so. I'm feeling good about myself, but i feel it's not good enough.

I want to go L. I swear i do. Singapore feels empty already. Yeah i have my loved ones here, but it's like i got no energy left in me to actually live life here. It's been effing tiring ya know! living like this here! Probably Azman's drained out all the energy i ever had and he's left me a wasted aging old hag. Then now i want to start proper again, i wanna be young again. Feel like i can't do it in SG cos too many shit's been happening and too many people know my shit already.

It's time to wipe my poo and find another bowl yeah.

Wow amazing, sounds so simple. Poooi.

Maybe, just maybe, i need you under the ballet of stars by the beach under a coconut tree. Maybe, i need money. No, I NEED MONEY. can't do shittt without it.

So you tell me now, what i should do to earn my MONEY.

Oh my god! I'm frikkin insomniac. I can't sleep now. I swear, the plane trips took a toll on me. Economy class seats really bites my ass,fuck! i'm sorry i'm vulgar but FUCK YOU it's three in the morning and i'm being nasty. Sorry, really...sorry. Can't help it.

And i'm getting random so trust me, it's not gonna be nice from my side. Yeah, once in awhile, hear me roar and squirm in uncomfort.

You wanna talk about comfort? I'll talk about comfort. Comfort is when i can have my eyes the size of peanuts and still be told they're sexy. Comfort is when i don't know you, but it's like i've known you all my life. It's when i start contradicting myself and thoughts just come streaking through my mind.
It's when i feel that my ass is really just an asset. That i know the size don't matter,that it's fine.
Comfort is also when i feel most at ease and i trust you so much, i don't give a care to the fucking world.

That's comfort.

For now, i have my bed to be comfortable in. But i'm wishing i don't have to spend my nights like this. I swear balls, i'll come back on a better day. I keep procrastinating about my trip, dunno if i should even talk about it. cos some things are better felt than said, you hear me?

i should be rolling the ball normally again come monday. you know what, i actually forgot how i lived life before the trip.

i swear... it's really really freaking me out. my heart's not here. it's somewhere overseas shan't mention where. fact is, i don't even know where it is myself.

Ok, before i run my head through the walls and end up in a mental asyllum, i should end here.
But still, i feel unsatisfied though - feel like i had just finished speaking rubbish. Woh that helped, alot.

Alright, goodnight. I should quit on this bad habit yeah.




Been missing you like fuck.

What gets me going,gets me talking. What He brings me to, He brings me through.

Twenty
elegantly bolder&badder
INSANE.
fake and dismissive

travel.gossip.girls&boys.

Dibs
Mul
Souqie
Rina
Frinn
Nadirah
Ben Tricheks
Farah Faith
Karooona
Online Album
My Profile

and i fly again.