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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
sudden rush of floodgates
7:20 PM Joewe Playhouse - 1120HRS, 310108. I broke down. Because, i have assholes in my life. Ass(PUNJABI)holes to be more precise. So now that i've let out what i needed to, i've dismissed the need to have any association with such fuckingscumbags. I have eradicated them. Done. Oh God, that felt good. the sudden opening of the floodgates was so refreshing. though almost throughout the entire time weeping i did try figuring what i was crying for, and then it hit me when i was sobered down - i was crying because i don't like how strangers (or you'd say mere acquaintances) think they know me but actually they don't? And how they are SO DAMN SURE of me when actually they know peanuts. I hate strangers who tell me what to do, or what's better for me etc. I JUST HATE STRANGERS, period. So yyyeaaahhhh i'm off to continue work. I feel like it's Thursday,how silly. Weekends are gonna be a blast with Shazy's farewell party at Lorong Sarina. It's all family and frens and everything else fuzzy. Oh by the way, I've been spending too much time with anything and everything else BUT myself. So i get tired too. This entire week has been madness - i've been busy with things i can't even remember of ; I've been busy with people's business that doesn't concern me - not that i intentionally approach the situation, just that situation comes to me - and the going's not been too easy. I've been a bunch of conflicting emotions and thoughts all week..my mind needs to rest. On the external, i seem so fulfilled in servicing others. But really deep down, i feel deprived of my own true self.So that idiot who called me about half an hour ago who sent my temper flairing to heights that was unnecessary, got the brunt of it. And i am glad he did. I need to take a breather, a puff, a fag. But i can't do it not until and hour n a half's time. I shall be patient then. It's month end and there's lots of paperwork to clear and update and what not.So i should get started. Later on is lunch at Zeyr's (Shazy's gonna 'meet the parent'.) and just before that is some loving time to myself - a massage session wit mummy at some spa at aranda. *Sigh can't wait for the day to be over, so i'll have some time to myself. It's high time i grabbed a real good book. 'On the river pedra i sat and wept' would do me good. Coelho's enchanting tales never fail to teleport me into a different world altogether, something much needed when this Cancerian crawls into her safe shell. Aite people, it's bye bye for now. Woh Ajnabee ek KUTTTTTE hain! |
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