The new one.

our seventh month..and counting.

2009-06-14T06:15:00.001-07:00

not defunct. as yet.

2008-12-13T00:53:00.000-08:00

Hi.

Just as when i thought that this blog of mine has DIED, i was wrong. I figured nothing beats the familiar feeling you get when you ramble with blogspot.com

God knows, i tried vox.com. But because the interface is different from this one, i realised i couldn't stay loyal to vox. So i am gonna resurrect my almost-defunct blog and bring it back to life..from now onwards..its me, you and the blog again.

On a seperate note..

I AM ATTACHED.
I AM IN LOVE.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

and this is the culprit, the thief, the criminal behind my massive abundance of joy :

vishnuvarthan..the love of my life.

HAPPY WORKING DARLING!!

*wide smile*

fiskus

2008-10-09T23:02:00.000-07:00

It's a friday afternoon, 2.02pm.

Suddenly i feel like the weight's been lifted off once Sharrah switched on the tv. The house was so quiet and gloomy before her return, the very reason why i felt to pressured to complete housework.

Alright on a more constructive note,

Life isn't that bad after all. Just a few mishaps here and there wouldn't have you say Mira has faultered.

Yeah single shmingle. Life's like that. It serves you the most raw salmon on a silver platter,up your face.

Mustafuckamal is finally outta my life. He's left the buidling..for good! haha. and WOH MY LORD do i feel liberated.

Amana is good, he's been very cheeky these days but oh well that's him. I've not been dating or seeing anyone in about a month or so and i've come to terms with it..i forgot how it felt like to have someone.

Oh not to mention, Bashir.

Bashir Fredderick Murphy. That fella hailing from Bristol City, UK. He's good. More often that not we text each other like as if he's living in Tampines. Not good. Good for Starhub, not good for me.

Bashir opened up my mind in more ways than one on one typical Singaporean afternoon. I realised that when your emotional life is in shambles, it's the littlest things that'll cheer you up. Things that give you a reborn sense of hope - things that remind you you're not hopeless after all.And that's excatly what Bashir did..open up a door for me that has got no relevance to my emotional life.

He sparked a new ambition in me.. to work abroad. Now, it's either UK or Dubai.

Chances are..it'll be dubai.

So Dubai...here i come!!1

solo

2008-09-09T09:04:00.001-07:00

So life has come to this aye? Super lonely nights. Super dull, solo nights. No tender lovin', no bright days..only dark nights.

Wishing the night would bring about a better next day..and when it doesn't im wishing for the night to fulfill me..only to be lonely again.

Things that used to leave me contented, doesn't even come close anymore.

I'm not even wondering why its come to this ; i'm constantly trying to remember my life before Nash came.

I don't cry, i'm don't get too hurt anymore - which isn't a good thing - my gash, my wounds, they're just so dry...i can't feel no more. I feel so numb.

Yes that's it..i feel numb. I can't differentiate my feelings anymore..the positive to the negative..

I've lost all connection to the people around me. Even my closest ones..lost the touch..the connection.

So how the hell am i supposed to bring myself joy, when i feel so..broken and lonely?

Is this part of growing up? Then why the fuck is Nash even in the picture? Is this the aftermath of all the pinning down and emotional punches he throws at me EVERY SINGLE DAY?

I put myself in the rut time and time again with him, for what? to hope that one FINE day, he'll suddenly or slowly become the Nash that i knew him to be on that one saturday night? i am deluded to have been thinking that way.

If he wants me, he'd have to respect me. If he feels for me, he's got to show it. I am utterly damaged..damaged beyond repair. At age 20. It kills.

I know i have so much to give to the love of my life..i'd be giving my life. So he better be worth it.
For now, Nash needs to go. I'm leaving..for good.

I will never love again.

lonely

2008-09-07T02:36:00.001-07:00

I am a lonely person.

Atleast, that's how i feel for now..at this moment..(it's 5.34pm on a sunday evening).

I have no boyfriend..my friends are scattered..

I make new friends in hope of better things..better company,better nightlife,better relations.But it keeps biting me back in my ass..its nonsense. I swear.

It's like a pretence ive been living in..a mask of potrayal i have been asking myself to believe in since God knows when.

I wonder if this is really what life is all about..i do feel quite empty..but above all, i feel like i've lost the connection with my people.

My family, my friends, my loved ones.

And it doesn't help that i am single..AND NOT MINGLING. sometimes i think, i can't be bothered to mingle also.

I AM JUST PLAIN LAZY.

I am in need alll the fucking time. Do you know how irritating that is? I am searching for somethings that i can't quite decipher right now. My emotional being is in a calamity. I hate being lazy, being unmotivated, i hate the lack of drive..

I hate it when love and joy is absent from my life..

And as the years roll on by and i blossom into my early adulthood, i cannot expect people to always be there for me. The time has come for me to stand on my own two feet..to brace the everchanging winds with the strength of an adult..if there is any strength left in this wayward mind of mine.

I just need some tender loving care..no, i need LOTS of it!

And being broke is not helping me in anyway..i would love to just stroll down the streets in town alone..just watching in a daze as the world spins around me.

sharing my life with you

2008-08-20T00:46:00.000-07:00

Hello,world.

How long has it been since you last heard from me? World, you have to know that i have been fine. Not dandy, but fine,still. As kickass as ever, i've been taking in life's most difficult with the grace of an adult..like the true fighter that i am.

I realised that i am still fighting. Everyday, every waking moment. I am my own fighter within. Life's a struggle - that is as much as i have learnt so far. And i am happy that i have discovered myself in more ways than one. I am still the fighter you knew me to be, just a little bit more different now.

Life has been kind. I have been kind to myself. Lesser disappointments. I take things very slow now. The more wiser would agree with me that obsession and haste is a child's game. I analyse more now, i look into things from different perspectives.

I have been in ruins for Allah is Great. He made me feel pain, he gave me an antidote as well.

Mohamed Mustafa Kamal.

I'd like to share my life with you. But let's take it slow. Reading back on this weblog of mine, i can't help but feel like you are the one i have been speaking to all this while. You are a special person, you are my soul. Mohamed Mustafa Kamal..you are amazing.

You recognise me for being me, you hold my words when i am rendered speechless. You push me through my most dazed thoughts. You believe in me and believing in me that you do, you made the best out of me in a matter of days. I don't love you as yet,instead i honor and cherish you. Because i want to take a lifetime to fall in love with you. For suddenly i feel, like you are the missing piece of my life puzzle. The one God has kept for me, the one so sacred, God met me with you in a time He knows its right.

At a time when i am myself truly, at a time i am at my strongest. At a time i realise my weakness and know that i have the better of me whenever i feel weak.

You are the other Mira i have been looking for, i swear. And you are my deepest secret until...
I am sure that it's you i've been waiting for all along.

MOHAMED MUSTAFA KAMAL..... WHO ARRRE YOU!?!?!!?

Salaam

2008-07-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Hello hello..

Been eons since i last updated. My posts have drastically decreased in numbers and i have absolutely no reason behind it. Hah.

In any case..i will try my level best (for the lack of energy ; it's 5.30 am in the morning!) to update as much juice as possible.

Ok let's start with mid June..when the parents went for Umrah. They were away for a total of 2 weeks..paid Medinah and Mecca a visit, after which they also dropped by Jordan and Israel. Lovely place, Jordan. And Israel's just heart-wrenching. Jerusalem to be exact. Heart-wrenching with the limited ability to survive for the Palestinians (May Allah be with them).

And so started a wonderful 2 weeks boot camp with the sisters and cousins. One word : Amazing.
I love my family already. =D

Ok so girl wonder and friends decided on having a road trip during one of the weekends of mid June. All prepped up, revved and ready to go, I haaaad to fall sick the night before the trip. And mind you, it's a secret. Noone's supposed to know about the trip so 'don't tell the person you're working for about it'. *winks*

sorry, that was abit out of point but only meant for those who knew what i was talking about lol.

aaaaniways.

So i bailed out on Adib super duper last minute, only to feel better the next afternoon!
And then...lo and behold. I did one of the craziest thing i could ever whip up in a million years. So crazy it was beyond my own mind's comprehension.

I took a flight down to KL on the very last minute. Ngyah ngyah! With no regrets at all..no looking back. And the short but sweet KL trip proved to be super fun packed exhilirating kemamak to the core siaaaa..

Then the day after, parents came home so back to square one.

##

My birthday was celebrated in a quaint, subdued setting ; close valuable friends and family ushered in my 20th with me at home sweet home. But the best birthday present had to be the Spanish victory ah later on the night. When the spaniards clinched the Euro title, i was so filled with joy i couldn't even speak. Kudos to my El Toros. Been waiting for them to raise the cup with glory since year 2000. And ooooh David Villa is so gorgeous! *slurps*

As presents, i received many useful and heartwarming gifts. To name a few, i recieved new fragrance from Burberry again..haha. Just to ensure my love for the Burberry fragrance doesn't run dry. This time it's Burberry Summer bebeh. Sexy shitt.
But what really really plastered that fat jaw dropping smile on my face was seeing (not one but) TWO Khaled Hosseini's classics ; Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns.

Just finished on the latter and i must tell you how grateful i am to have read one of the best written books in my life. Alhamdulillah...thank you darlings. *hugs*

So after the dinner party at my place, i made a trip to Darul Ehsan the next day on the day of my birthday itself. Bought some sweets and chocolates for the kids and gift-wrap them. Paid both the boys' orphanage and girls' one..spent some time with the less fortunate kids and it was extremely heart warming to see them admire you. Of course you feel super old and weathered being among them but hey, all in the name of charity. They're just fine vibrant kids with such sincere smiles..it warmed me to know that they were grateful to have me around.

##

I guess those were the only highlights even though i swear there's more but i just can't seem to remember now. Hmm.

But my day today was good, if it's anything. Spent the evening with Souher..its really nice spending time with her cos we're just always so high with each other. Even at 8pm. Lol.

After which Adib picked me up and we had supper with the rest (Lel, Zakk and Ain) at Adam Corner. New makan place for us, good deal. Good food. Good company. Ok minus the blaring tamil songs being played while we devoured the food. And after a hearty indian meal, we headed down Blacony to check the place out since Adib's never been there.

I'm telling you, we were stripped to our slackiest - slippers and tank tops - and it's a miracle we weren't denied entry into that place. Lol. But yeah..good company, good clean fun spells it man. Another wrap up to a good super-fast-didn't even see it zoom by-week.

Oh! Before i forget.

Shazy's back!!! Had her drive me and Nazy to ECP for a breeze and then Simpang for supper til 5 am. I've been having alot of beyond 3 am rendezvous and i swear it's crashing my system. but oh well spend it while it's still here. The youth i mean. Cos perhaps if i give myself another 3 years or so i'd probably be yawning by midnight due to old age.

Mirza's back from Brisbane and it was funny how we met for the first time. We had actually planned since months ago to meet up once he's back on Singaporean soil but because i'm always as busy as a mother of ten, and he, a father of twenty, we just could not find time. Eventually, we met up at Singgah Selalu JB coincidentally. Brilliant story i tell you. Funny lah. Kenal kat Brisbane and Singapore, jumpe kat JB. Maut.

Hairul's going off to NS on the 8th..big guy already lah he. Signed-on police officer, jangan main-main nanti die tembak kau. So for like a farewell sorta thing we had ourselves an amazing spread of seafood at (note : OF ALL PLACES) Pasir Panjang Food Centre. But dok, the food there damn nice lah. Beats Newton hollow man. I was about to burst by the time i was done with my meal.
Pasir Panjang abit too far lah seriously but tengok...JIWA BABE! GUA TURUN JUGAK...ah wa sayang sama lu nyer pasal kan.

hmmm.

aaand what else? i guess that's about it lah people. I'm sleepy already. God, it took me half an hour to complete this post lah! Uninterrupted some more. And not in the best fashion also. I could write better, really, but because it's morning lah and i want to sleep. So i'm hoping i won't procrastinate and only update again next month or something..hah.

Alright then people...till you hear from me again....toodles and chin up... =)

a few good reads.

2008-06-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through Kino and realised that i would love to have some of those books in my library.

And the list goes : -

Sirens of Baghdad - Yasmina Khadra

A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini

Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

A Promise to Nadia - Zana Muhsen

Brida - Paolo Coelho

The Witch of Portobello - Paulo Coelho

##

I've just finished on Prisoner of Tehran by Marina Nemat and i have Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortensen to start on.

Oh well.

Just for your kindest information.

Wasalaam. Heh!

what women want.

2008-06-18T00:30:00.000-07:00

It's always tough for me during this time of the year. Its usually the period of transitioning for me. God knows, i've been trying to surpress the excitement/despair/anxiety of turning 20.
Excitement because it's my birthday. Despair because it's another year closer to the grave, another year closer to pure adulthood which means more responsibility, no more room for mistakes, more expectations out of my blood. Anxiety because life is just too uncertain for anyone to feel secure. What tomorrow brings is always a mystery.

So this takes me to this discussion, my 20th birthday. Do i celebrate it? Should it be a bash? Looking back at the past birthdays i've had..i'd say i was quite the party animal. I celebrated in style, partied hard. blah blah blah. But all that's left is just the memories of the party. Nothing substantial. Nothing valuable. I think i was more moved on my 18th birthday when my sisters secretly spent their piggy bank money to order a pizza for me on the evening of 30th June 2006 and surprised me. It was a mini family celebration and boy was that a memoriable one. And the other one still preserved in my mind was the surprise party at my place on June 30th 2005 with my girls TRYING to surprise me by hiding under my block. And then my ex-bf blew it away and i found out abt the surprise..haha. hey but that was damn sweet. i remember all that happened that nite..

Anyways.

So i woke up trying to figure what i should do for my 20th birthday. Thing is i'm stuck, i don't even know wat i want. I might even forget it's my birthday and live through the day like any other day. Oh but humanity knows that Mira takes everyday a special day cos i'm just like that.

PERHAPS i'd like to commemorate my 20th birthday to my mother. For being the woman she's been, raising me for a long and solid 20 years. Hmmm. maybe that's the answer to all that's been boggling in my mind.

Hey but people, no doubt i'd love a suprise! it's interesting to see your close frens cracking their brains on who to invite for the surprise party and who'll actually turn up. It's a special day for me not cos it's my birthday, but cos it's a day my mother spent 20 solid years living her life for me. So let's do this for her.

So that's it i guess. What i want for my 20th birthday? to spend it with every special one in my life. close friends, cousins, sisters, aunts...yeah. all for my mother, the woman who's raised me for 20 solid years.

I shall try and continue this post to update on the recent happenings in my life. but right now, i gotta go people.

See ya'll. Chow!

some's up

2008-05-14T10:56:00.000-07:00

hey...

its my off day...and i have nothing much to say actually...

Yes, i've become a shy person, swear. Not open to meeting new people. Funny, but true.

So...

i'm doing wat most singles on their off nights do (besides the conventional partying to let their hair down after a hard week at work), sit at home with the Viao infront of me and watch comedy flicks on the net!

Grrrreat way to spend your off night, i swear.

Borat's coming on soon. Stay tuned. Catch you later. =)

the cab chaser.

2008-05-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

My life with the shangrila has been like a daze. Thought i could wake up from it. But it seems like i never can wake up from this daze as long as i'm with the shangrila.

Minutes become precious, half an hours distinguish my punctuality.

Normal food i crave for everyday become a delicacy, only to be devoured on days i can spend time and money.

Though,

Having said so,

I keep on rolling.

testimony.

2008-05-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

The reasons i smile.

Message received from Mr Brissy at 2146HRS on 1st of May, 2008 :

"Hmm..about dark pasts hey dun worry bout it...who are people to judge us.. u see when it comes to u doing the wrong thing its always easy for people to criticize. However if its otherwise it seems tt it cost the whole world to give u a pat on the back or even a "nice one". be urself be genuine...avoid berbual world (n u dunt, trust me, ur genuine) nature takes care of the rest."

Testimonial received from Nur Shafeeqah Abdullah at 0112HRS on 2nd of May, 2008 :

"amrah. what im gonna say here is really awkward, coming from me (knowing what a bi*ch i can be. hehe)

Well its been days since we really lazed around on your forsaken bed and talked about everything under the sun. About your crazy roller-coaster life and my love-life with Zarith.Well I appreciate every sharing session and each session, without fail, leaves me a lesson learnt. I think this might sound wrong to you, but I'm glad that I'll be able to learn from your mistakes. Having a sister as strong as you is really a blessing. Alhamdulillah is all that I can say sincerely. (omg mak caught me crying) Yes, im crying. I know its lame. shaddap.

But I just wanna say.. sincerely as a youngest sister, although at times I disrespect you, you should know that I look up to you and I'm very proud to have you as my sister.

I have never met women as strong as you and mak to face the uncertainties of life. This one chunk of testimonial is not enough to tell you how thankful I am to have you as my eldest sister. Not to forget, Sharrah. I am sure that I AM much less of a person without you, Sharrah and Mak as guidance.

Sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I thank Allah from rewarding me with a sister like you.Whatever that happens, you know that I can be your listening ear. I AM OLD ENOUGH, MIND YOU! Even if I can't help, you know that im glad to hear your problems. Dont say im egoistic for not saying this in front of you cos i cant. i might end up crying. so shaddap. heh

I'm starting to love everyone around me, cos this is what I learnt from you. You don't hate anyone. How cool is that?

Although you had a past that doesn't deserve to be talked about, we gave you a chance to balik ke pangkal jalan. I'm sure you're happy when Mak said that you're old enough to think on your own now. I am thankful for everything.

Amrah.Thanks for being the best sister anyone could ever ask for.

Sincerely,PQ."

It makes my life worthwhile. Thank you for recognising me, as me ; the sister, the daughter, the friend, the mother, the father and the woman that i am. =)

imy.

2008-05-01T08:37:00.000-07:00

I miss my Shazy.

@ The Balcony

2008-05-01T05:12:00.001-07:00

Hello.

Public holiday eve proved to be satisfying with the bunch @ Balcony. Caught the chelsea/liverpool game..and where better place to catch a gruelling game of soccer (without commentary ; cos it was substituted with new age music playing at the place) than The Balcony, with so many other colourful individuals adding to the game spirit. =)

Clearly, Ryan Babel's goal in the final minutes during extra time was undoubtly the best goal of the entire game.

And the game ended late,so Mira slept late. It's been awhile since i fell asleep at 5.30 in the morning. Usually i'd be awake to get ready to work by then.

Anyhoos.

So far my thursday has been good. Caught up with lost sleep in the evening, and woke up to people making plans for me already. =) So tmr is another off day, heading out with the gf to town i suppose. I wanna try Ramen-Ten~

Woke up to the day in the best style - had my sisters waking me up and chatting with me..i miss them so much. The usual bonding, the usual catching up.

Actually i don't have much to say..so i think i shall just end the post right here. But somehow, i think my life is just about to alter again..i have this feeling an interesting character is gonna drop by and colour my life. =)

Alright folks! Ciao!

the date.

2008-04-24T02:32:00.000-07:00

I had a date with this guy very recently. He made me so high i could fly. But the thing about this guy is, he's unselfish. He gives, but he never takes.

Or so i thought.

This clandestine relationship i'm having with him is forbidden. Sinful. Sacred.

It's been so long since i last met him. And everytime i do, it's always euphoric initially..then gradually it turns disastrous.

He brings out the vice in me. At first, he'll make me feel like the queen of the dancefloor, the animal of the party, the livewire of the congregation. Then he'll kick into me..he'll slowly make his way up to my nerves..and eventually numb me.

It this thing called locked-in syndrome. That's exactly what he does to me.

I can't say i hate it. I'm ashamed of it. I'm ashamed of having myself see him time and time again. When i know his biggest fear is my very own willpower.

Just maybe,darling, i won't have to see you anymore. Won't have to digest you and make you part of my bloodstream anymore.

After all that's happened, i daresay my willpower is only getting stronger. My resistance against you is fuelling. You can't stop me. And nobody can tempt me into having you.

You are the devil in disguise to the world.

fyi : this ain't a love story.

flattered.

2008-04-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

You know,

I don't say this too often, but i do get flattered when i find out that people are jealous of me. Truth be told,there's nothing i have that others don't have. Ok fine,you wanna talk about the things money can't buy..then those are for me to keep. But if you're talking about the materialistic things, well..i wouldn't say i have the best stuff/wardrobe/bag collection to show off to the world.

I'm modest, and to start off with, i don't get jealous of people. I understand humanity has a whole and our ability to possess very different things in life. No 2 persons in the world are similar, everyone's unique in their own way.

So it brings me to this post..

I seriously don't understand people who get jealous of others..and find satisfaction in defaming the ones their jealous of..what's worse is, they won't even admit that they're jealous and fuming with envy!!

My goodness, no wonder they say women are the easiest to win a place in heaven, as well as a ticket to hell.

Oh well.

In loving memory.

2008-04-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

Let us not mourn over his demise

But rejoice and remember him for his life

For he brought us smiles,

he brought us sorrow

He'll bring us through our tomorrows

Our time will come, just like his

to meet the world beyond this

Dear beloved, goodbye forever..

a person like you, there won't be another

-In loving memory-

Saikh Abdul Kader , beloved..

Father

Husband

Brother

Soccer enthusiast

Uncle

There will never be another you.

May Allah bless your soul and lighten your burden in your new world. Peace be upon your soul,Dear Uncle. Rest well.

Ameen Ya Rabbal Alameen.

" Hasbi rabbi jhalallah

Malfi qalbi' ghairullah

Nur Muhammad shalallah

Subhaanallah

Wa Alhamdulillah

Wa laa ilaaha ilallah

Wallaa hu akhbar

Subhaanallah "

whats new

2008-04-13T01:31:00.000-07:00

What's been happening :

1) Started with the Shangri-La Hotel,Singapore on Monday 7th April with the Reservations department.

2) Been very very very super duper whopper occupied with work ; long hours and demanding job scope. By the time i'm finished with work, i'm brainfucked. And not to mention the amount of time i spend on travel to and from work.

3) My uncle, is in critical condition right now. So the days (since yesterday to be exact) have been rather depressing. Spent the night at SGH last nite with my guy cousins around, paid my last due respects to that wonderful man of ours and i feel better today.

4) Honestly, when i received the news abt my uncle slipping into critical condition and being heavily sedated..i could feel glass breaking under my temples. And when Shafi mentioned, "He'll be sleeping till the very end.." I just couldnt' fathom anything more surreal and hopeless than this.

5) Trying to organise another 4F reunion with the crazy secondary sch bunch, IF we all can actually sacrifice a night of our lives for ourselves.

6) I like the way my life is as a routine - no complains so far.

7) Must learn to let go, the good ones leave early.

8) My hair is growing longer, i think (hope,too).

9) What else is new eh?

10) I guess that's about all the highlights i can whip up rite now, under immense shortage of sleep - only 8 hours in a total of 48 hours.

A breakdown of my past 48 hours : 8 hours of sleep, 13.5 hours of work and 4 hours of travelling to/from work. The rest is well, i don't know.

Oh and not to mention 2 packets of cigs for the past 2 days. That's 40 fucking sticks.

##

Mum's having a problem with the 3rd floor neighbour. She's jerked about the fact that the family (a malay one to add to that ) passed some very unfriendly comments.

Anyhow,
it seems like it's going to rain.

And i need to catch up on my sleep.

So till you hear from me again, this is girlwonder (As kickass as ever) over and out.

ps: excuse the narcissm.

oof.

2008-04-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

physically,emotionally drained out. they've kept me smiling all day. =)

life is wonderful.

2008-04-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

And so i feel so fulfilled being of help to others. Knowing that i could be relied upon,makes me feel grrrreattt.

So i just recovered from fever..something that's been absent from my life for about a year.
I shan't publish my idea here,not now atleast.

Atleast when i have all the structure and intended duration sketched out,then you'll know exactly what i'm talking about.

Right now i'm pretty random. Pffft it frikkin two thirty on a friday morning.

Mr Brisbane is a nice guy. He laughed when i said i was once James Bond. =)

Jamie Scott & The Town's accompanying my through this lonely night of mine. I have tons of things to do online. Sort out the mails, online portal and such. Oh and job hunting on behalf of a sound asleep Safrina.

The things friends do for each other. =) (I love you,that's why.)

I'm done with her resume and cover letter. Back to her for final editting,if any is needed.ngyeheh.
I really want that woman to get a job she'd love. Then that means i'd love it too,rite? But i shall savour her jobless state right now before the new job robs her of time and energy. Then that's minus Safrina-Time in my life. No,that's not good. =(

Well what do we know, we're hitting 20 already.

Balls.

cashmere & simla.

2008-04-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO GO KASHMIR!!!!!!

KL trip madness.

2008-03-31T02:57:00.000-07:00

party @ planet hollywood,bukit bintang

us girls - liah & mir - guess who's sober?

liah was drunk as hell. hahah.

pre-party preperations in our room.

cam hoe.

liah & mira @ KL

the bar area, this place was infested with malays!

the boys

Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat and Hangos.

Bukit Bintang madness - saturday night had the whole world on that street..super crowded!

Liah showing off her La Senza purchase

Squeezing into Petaling St

Petaling Street!

Some of the many photos that was snapped during the very short KL trip. Must say, the trip was a super blast considering the fact that it was last minute.

Warmest thanks to Sha,Wandi,Dir & Liah for the wonderful and memoriable experience. I have to protect the guys' identities for certain reasons. Hehe.

Anw,

kilometers of walking within central KL, late night party, kickass company and a drunk Liah spells total knockout FUN.

Done with my update. Till you hear from me again. Toodles!

back.

2008-03-30T04:44:00.000-07:00

Ok so i went to KL on saturday morning and returned on sunday evening. Because i am a zombie everytime i travel, i feel like as if the few hours spent in KL seemed like a week,swear.

Just got home.

Am physically tired,but very very much elated. I had a wonderful trip. Will update on it soon.

So basically i went there to fulfill some sort of 'rindu' for that place. I guess a left a slice of my emotions when i was there just 2 weeks ago, went there yesterday to collect it back. =)

Now all's good. But i think i'll be seeing more of the Malaysian highways and people.

bye.

once upon a time.

2008-03-27T11:23:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time not long ago,

Mira was master of surprises. Some kickass surprises i came up with were so good, it rocked some people's socks off.

Like the Glitched after-party surprised i hosted at Garden Hotel in 05 - with the kickass Glitched logo cake and all - that was going down in history man.

And how year after year, i dutifully cooperate with my other darlings to make Safrina's birthday a memoriable event.

This time round, i would say, i have lost it. The art of surprising. Maybe it's to do with the age. Hahah.

Oh who am i kidding. It was just a snag,i swear. If it wasn't for my stupid itchy fingers in disclosing the fact that i would be making my way down to KL this weekend, everything would be going smoothly.

But! i just had to ruin my own plans. Bravo Meer.

Ah to hell with it lah. I miss KL anyways. Will be spending it Mira style, with or without you.
I need a good breather from the bustle of SG.

I'm swept by fatigue now and my body needs to rest. But my mind's still ticking. Boohoo.

See ya'll.

miracle.

2008-03-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

Another KL trip this weekend, with fun company. =)

Haris, cousin from Penang here for a week-long trip. I'm playing wife cum tour guide. I do his meals, bring him around, make sure his welfare's taken care of. Hmmm.

This whole week proves to be anything but Singaporean for me. My heart's in Msia la,seriously.
I miss the highways..miss the old school infrastructure..miss KL nasi lemak!!

And so i'm keeping my fingers crossed that the gf and her mates can make it this weekend, will be staying at the Renessaince..

Anw,
it's like this lah. Life for now. As random as a racist remark.

Toodles.

hiatus

2008-03-21T00:41:00.000-07:00

Phuket trip was so-so,
KL trip was amazing.

Too much to say, so little time. So little energy to say it all. I've been assassinated. Period.

I'm steadfasting into a hiatus - not that i need one, i just can't help but feel so. Cos the lack of drive to blog has brought me to this.

Life in short, has been a merry-go-round. No,no. It's been a winding car ride on the Malaysian Federal Highway. No no! Better!! It's been a speeding carrerra ride from Pasir Ris to Dempsey Hill.

Oh i wish,,,

##

To say the least,
i still have an interest for Men. Well i'm glad i have,then atleast i know i'm still STRAIGHT.
Some people's lives are like prata kosong. Some, like a plate of empty murtabak pizza (the dish without the murtabak pizza tau). Mine...has been like murtabak, thosai and 55 different flavoured pratas all mixed into one massive indian disaster.

And to think that i have an entire line-up of wonderful men,fit for a world-class soccer team,doesn't really help. What's the point of having but not getting??

Idiots.

And so the most recent KL trip i had wasn't the conventional kinda KL trip i've always had..beats me, it might never be the same again, to step into KL. Like i said, i've been assassinated. Go figure.Haha.

Phuket was amazing - the villa i mean. Patong and Phuket town is just creton, i swear. I could think of the worst vulgarity and use it to describe the hospitality there. Really..
Then again, Phuket is no place for a family vacation. Period.

The girls and i need a break. We need a GOD-DAMN break. From Singapore. From normality. From the usual fly. But i have personal things to settle somewhere,sometime next weekend.

Thank God for my guts,really. Sometimes i feel like as if humanity as a whole needs salvation from their own guts. Yeah sure it's not easy to change...BUT PEOPLE!! "THE WORLD HATES CHANGE,BUT CHANGE BRINGS PROGRESS."

Without a second of a doubt.

Now i'm bringing this entry round and round in circles, without a single direction whatsoever. And you know what? I don't care anymore. Cos if you can read what's written beneath..then i daresay..you're game.

When we assume that you and your other half don't belong to each other is when we dare step in, to somehow 'rescue' you from further damage. But then again, who are we - mere people - to snatch that away from you? Snatch your normality from you - to promise you a heightened euphoria? Question isn't who are we..question is, what can we do ; to convince you that the grass is greener on our side.

I've been thrown into this, predicament after predicament of the same situation - it tires me. I'm waiting for a time when it'll bore the fuck out of me. But the challenge is just too delicious to forego. I WILL GET TIRED OF THIS, one fine day. But..i'm not at that one fine day yet.

So if i'm your desirable 'other half', let it be this way...till then next time i see you.

##

And that's all i have to say...

...before i slip into hiatus.

transit.

2008-03-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hello hello!!

I'm back from Phuket, getting ready to shoot down to KL in a few hour's time. This week has been spent travelling through almost the entire bumiputra peninsula and such. It's been exhilirating.

Phuket was a rather thrilling affair - from the quiant and tranquil resort villa we stayed in to the bustling beach of Patong - not to mention some very rude siam fuckers and contradicting seamless thai hospitality. And oh the food!!...amazing culinary indulgence.

Anyhow,
this isn't gonna be an update of my Phuket trip ; not yet.

I still have KL to live through till Sunday, so i shall make a combined update altogether come Monday...Insyallah. Heh.

I am looking forward to KL, i'll be meeting a new friend there. =) He's going to bring me around in his car and i am liking it.The friendship,i mean. I always have had a knack for new things,new people, new normalities altogether. And KL would prove to be an experience i know i'll enjoy to the bits of it. Insyallah. *wide ass maniac smile*

Alright people, i gotta catch up on beauty sleep.

Till you here from me again...toodles!

pre-flight.

2008-03-09T10:53:00.001-07:00

So it has come to this,hmmm?

This ordeal isn't happening to me, but to someone close. It is sad. I is feeling very sad about this. This is nothing for us to rejoice about. Sad lah, sad.

##

My drama story however, seems to have no end. Pffft yeah he and i aren't in contact no more. But somehow,deeeeep deeeep down i feel this isn't the end. It's like a super prolonged intermission or something. But oh well. I've let lillahita'ala do the work and as long as i come out smiling, i'll be fine. =)

Though i do have the slightest hope that you're my reward after the outcome (even if it'll take me years) , i know i'm just insane to have said that.

##

This post isn't gonna be another literature work - it's gonna be short sweet simple.

##

Off to Phuket and KL for the next whole week!!!! Gotta go start packing soon, flight's in awhile.

See ya'll soon. Till the next time you hear from me again, here's me wishing you a blissful week ahead.

<3

this sting.

2008-03-04T12:29:00.001-08:00

Only God knows,

I miss you so much.

So so much.

when i am but sane.

2008-03-03T13:44:00.001-08:00

I seem to have so much to say to justify so many feelings. You know those occassional emotional punches to your head you experience when there's a whirlpool of thoughts that send a fuzzy nuzzle right down your chest? YES. i'm talking about those.

Emails really are, a slice of one's memories.

I am the sort of person who keeps old emails just for the sake of reading them back on a better day. And i'm talking abt those tear-jerking ones that would take a lifetime of courage to read on again. I find sentimental value in them, don't know why.

Perhaps, just because.

Just because they were a profound part of my mental disk space. A concrete memory of my emotions. I am an emotional bastard, simply said. Certain things can make me cry like an asshole,literally.

Ok so i shall quit on taking you round and round on my emotional circle and cut to the chase.

A year ago,
marked the last time i met a friend. See, this friend and i severed ties unexpectedly and quietly over the course of the past one year. What jerked me was the fact that it's been a year. And to know that once upon a time we were like the nail&thumb - it kinda warms me to know that a year has brought us to different pages in life.

Our lives have changed, we have changed. But i believe very much that nothing could change our memories. It was that...special to say the least.

So i dropped that friend an email, a sign of genuine reminisence. And i'm not ashamed to feel that way,never will.

##

Another email i dropped off at another friend's feet was even more emotional, i would say. Taking into account that this friend and i shared memories that can't be claimed distant. It happened merely about a week ago. So it's kind of a closure sort of an email, and again..i'm glad i brought myself to come up with that. Jordan Hill's Remember Me This Way was spot-on in every aspect and i have no qualms on making it known to him. However he takes it, i believe that he'll take it good. So yeah.

##

And spending time with Imran has always been nothing less than refreshing.Especially if we talk on topics pertaining our current ordinary lives. How the notion of him being a Libran suddenly came under the spotlight since i've just had a closed chapter with one ; made me see things about these wonderful Librans in another retrospect altogether.

How Librans would conform to normality and won't ever take on a challenge not cos they're too afraid or lack of a risk taker, but just because..they're designed that way. And how my intuitive nature brings me to a further understanding of his predicament. Allah works wonders on our puny human minds sometimes, don't you think?

Imran enlightened me further on how circumstance would be so because..just because.

How i realised that my selfish nature in throwing flattery at people would often be mistaken as an inadequacy of mine, when actually it's just how i am. And how Librans (or this particular Libran i know of) catapulted to the clouds when i decided to just throw in some nice and sincere words to him.

Then it brings me to another notion - how conveying messages to a person of your intellect makes your job a gazillion times easier. Ok but that's besides the point here.

You see, i'm in this mental mould of mine whereby i would have sleepless nights, just cos i'm thinking too much. Like as if i'm genius enough to be using 0.5% more of my brain mass just to figure out things when actually some things don't have answers, just because.

Then i realise, that this is essentially how i am - the constant thinker of things. How i'd still be 50 and (hopefully still not blogging, then that would make my entries super boring and unreadable, and life, fucked up.) still be thinking of things that would be concerning me then.

Sometimes this 'state of thought' brings me to reaches far beyond my own vicinity and i can't help but return altered, if not, rejuvenated. To the many people in my life who's made this ride worthwhile - i bet that if you could sum me up in one word, it would be...crazy.

Haha and that would aaalways and forever be the biggest joke God has played on me since He decided to grant my existence - the fact that He's made it possible for me to be deemed crazy. God, do you not love me? Sometimes i feel as if God loves joking the joke out of me just cos He loves me. And i can't thank Him enough for that, nuff said.

And so i get thrown at some emotional punches once in awhile - but they've all made way to my 'i'm gonna remember this for the rest of my Indian life' novel and you see, they're a worthwhile read.

And what was the start of all this ranting again, i haven't the foggiest idea.

Do know that Mira has somehow, always been like this. I admit defeat but am silently resilient to overcome the odds. If you've been a faithful reader of this humble abode of mine since i first had meeracle.blogspot, i think i daresay there's just one thing that's not changed in me - the way i express emotions.

Laugh at me all you want dear imbecile, but we all know that at the end of the day, I'm all good.
More over, thankful that for the years that have rolled by, i have inculcated within me a knack for the logical.

All things logical are but the best. It's when you feel with your heart and think with your mind that Life brings you to the end of the day smiling. So in other words folks, try not to think with your heart and feel with your mind - that'll mess you up!!

Hooray this entry has become as long as a literature novel. And i think i'm beginning to bore the jesus out of you. So tell you what, for further verbal exchanges, feel free to drop me an email at jaquiroozle007@hotmail.com. If you've noticed, i've SCRAPPED my tagboard cos it's a bit of a white elephant for me. So any other constructive criticism or otherwise would be gladly welcomed in the form of an email. And who knows, maybe yours would be the next best thing in my life. =)

Cheers.

control.

2008-03-01T05:56:00.000-08:00

I am feeling very shitty on this particular saturday night. I want to believe it's cos of the shit that's happened since the past week, but i still can't quite place the core of it.

All i know is that i need a bloody good breather.

Am gonna go rolling around.

And this is rather random but...i feel like going Cancun. Alone.

tired of you

2008-02-27T05:52:00.000-08:00

Tired of You - Foo Fighters

I can be your liar

I can be your bearer of bad news

Sick and uninspired by the diamonds in your fire

Burning like a flame inside of you

Is this just desire or the truth

So shame on me for the ruse

Shame on me for the blues

Another one returned that I'll never use

I wont go getting tired of you

Im not getting tired

I wont go getting tired of you

Im not getting tired

Hanging on this wire

Waiting for the day where I have to choose

Cursed by love so dire

One more boy for hire

One more boy to lend a hand to you

Is this just desire or the truth?

the sweetest thing...since a long time.

the changi beach visual update.

2008-02-24T21:02:00.000-08:00

Picnic at Changi Beach with my Laddoos sometime back. Had a fun-filled episode with pot-luck food and makcik gossip sessions. I LOVE MY LADDOOS!!

Chingay 2008

2008-02-24T19:31:00.000-08:00

Chingay Parade 2008.

Was like bloody Shanghai lah. Am never going for another parade UNLESS i get VIP seating and am staying for the post-party. If not, waste of time. But the acts weren't bad and since we had a friend who was performing,it made up for the amount of chinese that was there.

Hmph.

Feriel turns 21.

2008-02-24T05:35:00.000-08:00

Sonia Feriel's 21st birthday bash in the middle of nowhere (Aloha Changi bungalow!!!) last tuesday. Had a blast with the girls,expectedly. Heh.

swensen's lunch.

2008-02-24T05:17:00.000-08:00

Sunday lunch with la familia at Swensen's T3. *burp

Had kickass baked rice with salmon. oooo the sexxxxx.

whip up

2008-02-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

Hello people.

The weekends are finally here again and i have been nothing less than busy. Even this weekend doesn't look like i can take a break.

I've got lots of things to do, and it feels good to have things to do.

But for a breather, i'm catching Juno with Erfan later. Pampering myself after a looong looong time yeah.

And so i have been taking tonnes of pictures of tonnes of people of a few events, and i have yet to upload them. Fret not, i'll upload them soon enough.

kbye.

liverpool lost to barnsley

2008-02-16T09:23:00.000-08:00

Oh dear God.

Liverpool lost to Barnsley. AT ANFIELD. How...embarassing. They were playing shit ass soccer anyways. Credits to Barnsley for putting up an excellent show, and an even (fucking magnificent!!!), show-stopping Howard ninety-second goal.

And now Zahir's biting all the nails he has. Hahah.

Joined the boys over at Irfan's for some back-to-back kickass matches. Zahir,Irfan and myself. Not to mention the company of kittens he has. Amazing place this is.

I've got nothing intelligent to say tonight besides..well...the fact that i'm falling sick. Other than that, i hope to have a more fruitful weekend next week, though mine isn't really over yet. Oh and i'm hoping hard (though i do know it'll turn out otherwise) for a productive Sunday come tomorrow.

Oh and Valentine's wasn't anything special. Just casual making love with my pillows. =)

Ok people, i'm gonna go sprawl myself on Irfan's rug and catch Man Utd vs Arsenal. Let's just say...i'd love for the Gunners to win? But whoever plays better football,deserves the win so we'll just stay tuned and see.

Ok go!!!

of men and dumbasses

2008-02-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

Men.
(a disrespectful range of Men)

I had to absorb it all without showing a trace of true emotion or affect. I had to play the part their desire decreed, I had to feign joy and whisper a cocktail of delight as they flourished - if you could call it that - their average domestic puniness. Such dribbled insignificance was partially how i tolerated them.

Their sad pathetic inadequacies, their so-called manliness, simply made me want to roar with glee and continue the endless search for the surely mythical 'something better'.

It's been like the abovementioned for the present time till the universe decides to stage me something more profound. I shall just go on believing in myths - literally.

Cos the good ones never come, they just marry you. Straight.

of philosophical chances again.

yaad sathye teri

2008-02-13T09:56:00.000-08:00

Bumm.

It's a weird nite. One of those nites when noone's awake at this hour. I usually have goons still awake to entertain me. Tonight's different, every goon i know is asleep. Ho well.

I feel like to talking to that particular someone tonight. But he's busy. I know that if i do get to talk to him tonight, he'll be my happy pill. But then again he's busy with bloody school work.

It's a weird nite. Cos it's one of those nights when i can't say anything constructive or intelligently-appealing. It's one of those nights when i have bhangra ( eg. yaad sataye teri ) blaring on my speakers but i can't seem to humm to the music.

It's those nights when i think a round trip down to Mustaffa Centre would be therapeutic. God i miss midnight rendezvous!! I WANT A CAR. NOW.

Things have changed so much since your departure to adelaide,babe. I dunno whether it's cos we're still sore over your absence or it's cos we're actually realising that you were the magnet between all of us all this while. So without you, everyone's in their own world. Or so to speak.

It's the kinda nite that's not right to be spent elsewhere but a club. But the club bugs have not bit me yet so i'm keeping my cool. I dunno, i suddenly feel...incomplete.

I'm random, and incomplete.

So there i go again,chatting shit. That's all i do when i'm feeling like this,swear. I thought it'll be ok once you're not around anymore..but hell no.

I've been to hell and back, and it's not easy being me. Fuck that's fucking cliched was it not? But that's whats juicing out of my brain cells.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

NOONE CAN DO SHIT WHEN YOU'VE GOT NO MONEY.

goodbye

2008-02-07T09:37:00.001-08:00

Happyness.

So Shazy's leaving for Adelaide in less than 24 hours. I can't believe it's come to this. Still remember those juvenile days like it was yesterday. Now, everything's more serious. We're no children no more.

You are to embark on a journey that's gonna mould you. You're gonna come back different, but i'll still be able to recognise my Nilou. It's the love we have,babe.

##

To me, it's not about what i have for myself. Ok so i don't make sense sometimes, or i disappoint you with my notion on love&marriage, but that's how it is. I'm just happy the way it is, the way it's gonna be left to be.

Suddenly i feel more importance in happiness with others (that i have left) than finding my own.
I guess i've gone past looking for the one. It's knowing that i have good people around me who do good for me and are happy when i do good for them, that's all that matters.

There's not gonna be a 'you and i' anymore. Now's gonna be 'them'.

The moment you pass those gates, i pronounce my job done.

##

Told you i'd change your life. =)

joewe

2008-01-30T19:43:00.000-08:00

Some pics of my daily comrades at work. =)

sudden rush of floodgates

2008-01-30T19:20:00.000-08:00

Joewe Playhouse - 1120HRS, 310108.

I broke down.

Because, i have assholes in my life. Ass(PUNJABI)holes to be more precise.

So now that i've let out what i needed to, i've dismissed the need to have any association with such fuckingscumbags. I have eradicated them. Done.

Oh God,
that felt good. the sudden opening of the floodgates was so refreshing. though almost throughout the entire time weeping i did try figuring what i was crying for, and then it hit me when i was sobered down - i was crying because i don't like how strangers (or you'd say mere acquaintances) think they know me but actually they don't? And how they are SO DAMN SURE of me when actually they know peanuts. I hate strangers who tell me what to do, or what's better for me etc. I JUST HATE STRANGERS, period.

So yyyeaaahhhh i'm off to continue work. I feel like it's Thursday,how silly. Weekends are gonna be a blast with Shazy's farewell party at Lorong Sarina. It's all family and frens and everything else fuzzy.

Oh by the way,
I've been spending too much time with anything and everything else BUT myself. So i get tired too. This entire week has been madness - i've been busy with things i can't even remember of ; I've been busy with people's business that doesn't concern me - not that i intentionally approach the situation, just that situation comes to me - and the going's not been too easy.

I've been a bunch of conflicting emotions and thoughts all week..my mind needs to rest. On the external, i seem so fulfilled in servicing others. But really deep down, i feel deprived of my own true self.So that idiot who called me about half an hour ago who sent my temper flairing to heights that was unnecessary, got the brunt of it. And i am glad he did.

I need to take a breather, a puff, a fag. But i can't do it not until and hour n a half's time. I shall be patient then.
It's month end and there's lots of paperwork to clear and update and what not.So i should get started.

Later on is lunch at Zeyr's (Shazy's gonna 'meet the parent'.) and just before that is some loving time to myself - a massage session wit mummy at some spa at aranda.

*Sigh can't wait for the day to be over, so i'll have some time to myself. It's high time i grabbed a real good book. 'On the river pedra i sat and wept' would do me good. Coelho's enchanting tales never fail to teleport me into a different world altogether, something much needed when this Cancerian crawls into her safe shell.

Aite people, it's bye bye for now.

Woh Ajnabee ek KUTTTTTE hain!

for you,dibo

2008-01-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

This is for a friend.

Remember that early morning car ride prior to your confinement? That moment in the car when it was just you,me,the early morning and the road. That morning when we felt youth at it's pinnacle. How i explained that the silence i rendered at that moment was because i was feeling like a kite who's embracing the strong winds. Without even figuring out what or how the wind was, i was left contented.

"I feel like a kite, embracing very strong winds now."

And you agreed, knowing that this is what it all meant - the silence. How we agreed to screw growing up for awhile and just savor its liberty.

Friend,
only now i've discovered that the 'strong winds' i acknowledged back then was actually the winds of change. And how amusing it is for me, that not knowing it was the winds of change, i somehow accepted it knowing it's all good. Believing that what i couldn't decipher back then was alright because one day the logic of it all is just gonna fall nicely into place.

And i guess that's just basic human nature. How faith makes us believe that every contigency is for the good of all things.

---

You know, the reason why i often feel refreshed and rejuvenated and "re-" everything else after having a soulful conversation with you is because often at times i feel like as if i am speaking to my most innerself when i speak to you. An innerself with a different voice, coming from a different walk of life, with a different way of putting things, but with the most similar emotion.

I'm compelled towards your being because somehow deep down inside i see a mirror image of my thoughts. Of my mind and philosophy. How 2 totally different people, can come onto the same plane. How sometimes i feel that when we speak, you and i represent a minority of mankind that is so unique yet undiscovered. I miss talking to you sometimes especially with your current commitment because somehow i feel like i miss talking to myself.

Like how your train of thoughts and mine complement one another and not ever having to clash.Sometimes when your thoughts are a blur and can't be mouthed, i understand. How you need not say a word or neither do i, but we got our points across pretty well.

With you, i discovered so many things about myself, about yourself, and about mankind as a whole. With you, ridiculous-sounding metaphors are actually made sensible. With you, i understand the silence. Whatever goes through your head, goes through mine.

Most importantly,
with you, i learn that we can reach to the depths of our souls without being in love, but just being in love with ourselves, our own existence. With you the world seems small and life seems short. But having said that, it's all worthwhile. How scare each other with the magnitude of our sins yet it is so comforting knowing that it's you who scared the jesus out of me.

In your absence i've learnt new things,discovered new logic that i know only you can decipher. I have so much else to share with you now. I know that whatever i have to say or share will not be judged.

I don't know how else to say it ; it's just been so phenominal. I don't even want to ask what is this that we've found in each other because it's a notion without an adjective - it's undescribable. All i know is that it'll stay with me through my life and has been a great part of my thinking mind for now.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

omg santana

2008-01-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOD!!!

CARLOS SANTANA IS COMING TO SINGAPORE AND I AM GOING FOR HIS CONCERT!

Finally,
someone who's worth waiting and watching and wrecking a big hole in my pocket for. I've been loving this man and his music since i was 11. i am going to the concert whether or not anyone else permits me. I don't care! Finally my childhood dream is about to come true.

I remembered when i purchased his album 9 years ago with my own pocket money and finishing it on that purchase, i thought to myself, "this is gonna be worthwhile someday."

Well thank GOD it took me 9 years of wait only.

So yay i'm gonna go catch that black magic womaaan.

toodles!

macammacam

2008-01-15T06:03:00.000-08:00

What's the deal with people using private numbers nowadays uhhh?
Like that i also want lah, to use private numbers for my mobile and land line.

Then when i call somebody the person won't know who's calling. The mystery behind it is waaay sexy.

And private numbers always set my heart thumping. Everytime i get a private number calling me (which already an everyday phenomenon-from different people per se) it sends shivers down my spine momentarily. Then i hesitate to pick up, but the suspense on who's calling me rips my brains apart for about 5 seconds, and then i pick up - hoping that it's someone i would wanna talk to.

Oh well even if it isn't, the typical 'hey er i'm kinda busy rite now i'll hit you back in awhile' aaaallllways works.

And of course, that doesn't happen lah. Being nonchalant about it also, helps kill the guilt of doing that to that particular human being.

...

So as you've already noticed, i'm pretty much random right now. And instead of ranting about my day ; i figured it's always nice to speak of something far less important than a day's tribulence.Yes, i guess that's how i'd prefer to blog from now onwards. Instead of blogging about my day, (which really is alot to pen down - i live my life in weeks now) i shall now start on blogging about issues.

Issues pertaining anything n everything in the world. It is a web log after all. So anything that gets me going, gets me ranting.

Like the private number issue i touched on a few paragraphs above this one; really is an issue for me now. And how i actually love the mystery behind the caller until i cut my suspense short and decide to answer the phone.

Then again i wouldn't wanna be perceived as a bimbo who only rants about things affecting her, i'll be speaking my mind on any topic imaginable, wherever my kite-flying mind brings me.

And then i'll include photos of events that'll happen once in a month or whenever - be it a dinner date, a coffee date or a party wit the mad girls. Whenever and whichever i deem appropriate to publish.

Alright? You with it, i hit it.

Say hi to a new Mira. Somehow she's new. Somehow she's changed again - not for the worse tho ; never have been anyways (cos progress is always in her vocab like that) - apparently for the wiser. Apparently so.

My kookiest ideas are just so crazy they might work. Wonders for some, not too amazing for others. But whatever it is, i've grown to be generous in ideas and opinions. Something i've inculcated after seeing all sorts of blasphemous characters living by me. And i enjoy every bit of it.

Who are we mere human beings to segregate the good from the bad, the saints from the demons personified? Sometimes, it takes you the Devil to teach you where to draw the line. It takes you the Devil and only the Devil to tempt you into doing things against your own set of principles. Your own set of principles.

ok another pvte number just called gotsa go.bye.

kite flying

2008-01-10T01:05:00.000-08:00

And so i came up with a few gratifying metaphors - i am a kite, and the zahir's my kite runner. who i need to marry is a string.

That got him thinking.

So life for now, has been soulfully satisfying. Adib's in ns now so i'm suffering from some kinda withdrawal symptom i can't explain. Zahir's in Port Dickson and Shazy's leaving in a few week's time.

I wonder how life would be if.. if..

Ho well i have my own direction in life to walk. 2008 is all about direction.
Life seems to be crawling for me but it doesn't matter, as long as i'm moving.

Oh i was upset about something the other day, i couldn't quite place why. Then before i knew it, i was over and out about it.

A girlfriend of mine came up with something super hilarious yesterday - got me cracking my ass i swear.

Goes like this : -

'Rimas aku tengok tu dua melekeeeeet je macam sipot isap pantat.'

LOL

(i'm getting very random now so i haaaaave to go. goodbye. girlwonder overr and outt.)

glitch

2008-01-05T23:28:00.000-08:00

Electronic mail sent to the States upon receiving a song clip of Glitch by Glitched through Brian Kyle.

"Hey Brian.

One word : Nostalgic.

Thank you, thank you so much for reliving the memories of it all. Quintessentially captured were the moments i had with Glitched, through that just one song i stumbled upon in my inbox.

I am lost for gratifying words to thank you. It's an amazing start to the yr being able to hear that song again. Thought i'd never come across the nostalgic tunes of Glitched ever again.

And surprisingly, this time round, the lyrics really really hit me. After what seemed like yrs after listening to this song, i finally figured that Glitched is inarguably spot on in many aspects of peoples' lives. The very notion that we all take our own existence for granted - that the glitch wasn't me (it was you).

Great job old friend, hope 2008 brings about another fruitful yr for you. Let there be distance, let the memories fade, but the friendship is unbreakable yeah.

Cheers Brian Kyle.

Regards,Mira.
With lots of love from Singapore."

##

"Hey Ameerah.

You're most welcome. I'm glad to know that this song holds great meaning and value to you. I have an uncanny attachment to this song I reckon. Possibly due to the fact that it is the very FIRST song I've ever written in my life.

As strange as it may seem, this song really is what the listener perceives it to be. We all have glitches in our lives that impact us. Some that we can escape from, others that we have to face sooner or later. It could be an act of hatred, dishonesty, regret, or even love. To deny having a glitch is a glitch in itself. And it's one heck of a journey.

So this time, I recorded the song with a journey in mind. Smooth and soft in the beginning, then a a barrage of notes bursts forth like the adrenaline running through our veins when we're afraid or in danger. Like sunshine after the rain, the adrenaline subsides for a while. Until of course, the ordeal starts again during the guitar solo. And it's all uphill from there as the protagonist reaches the pinnacle of his/her ordeal only to find that the root of the problem was in him/her all along.

Alas, our existence is what we grant it to be.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this song.

And yeaa... the friendship is definitely unbreakable. I will see you soon Mira. Not sure when, probably 2009 or so. But I'll see you anyway.Have a blast of a year!

Love,Brian Kyle."

myspace.com/briankylemusic for great acoustic music.

cheers.

silen nite

2008-01-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

Silence.

For a moment, i understood the silence. The silence of the night. And it's only 7.30pm in my neighbourhood.

Feels good to momentarily not listen to anything ; not even your inner voice. This has (within a second or two ) taught me that silence really is a virtue.

The silence between two people - an unspoken comfort.

##

Sitting down with the company of a good friend, sharing deep sentiments and whipping up awesome metaphors is really soulfully satisfying. When sometimes what we speak is commonly thought to be a voice of our minds. Then corrected again, it could well also be the voice of our souls..

That uncalled burst of anger that arrived on a solemn Friday night paved way to an entire shift of paradigm and hollistic respect. Had i not allowed my innermost to speak, you'd probably still think of me that way. What wonders the mind does when you just adjust certain words to your sentences for example, "what if i'm not stupid. what if i'm just too smart for your skin?".

I gravitate towards people in pain just so i can help them. Heal the wounds of the past, i have a knack for that. Cos if i can't heal my own wounds, i would find consolation in healing someone else's. Doing good is only to redeem myself of my sins. Nothing more. And i ask for nothing else in return. Just your happyness.

Sometimes i speak and i feel like it all came from a script. A script that was written and meant to be said at that precise time and place and situation. A script someone had written out for me to nicely put things. The words start streaming in and then two thoughts become a word.

"And you don't need to apologise for yesterday. I need to apologise infact. Cos the side you showed yesterday was scary,yes. But it showed that the way you think defies anyone else's logic."

What is this concept of design that's been surfaced? I yearn to break away from the social mould and live life out of normality. To differ. Not be understood, but to understand. If i was the flying kite, then you would be my kite runner.

happy nu yr!

2008-01-01T08:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year,people!!

Nah i ain't gonna be all emotional this time round. I'm not gonna blog about my self-reflections of 2007. What's done is done, what's happened had happened. And it's all mine to keep, i'll just let the memories fade..and allow myself to learn from worthwhile mistakes and cherish everything that made me sincerely smile for the year..

So yeah.

Didn't party during countdown..ushered the new yr at Marina Bay with la familia and watched the 10-minutes worth of fireworks..

...until we got ourselves into a massive 1.5 hours traffic jam.

God, it was so romantic.

##

On a seperate note,

Partied wit the ladies (nazy,lala,shazy, and guest appearance by Tanya who dropped by at Movida for awhile) at Movida, then fled down to Boat Quay for some sleazy Bhangra - the way to go. LOL.

So people, it seems that i've lost the art n passion for blogging. Maybe i'm just less expressive about it? Dunno eh.

Anyhoos.

It's 2008. I'll be turning 20 this year. Friends tell me to relax, but really, i don't think i can. The sense of urgency has already set in - it kicked my ass hard - and as quoted by another fren, i better get started.

I'll be 20. The big 20. No more time to waste.

Ok so let's all welcome in the new Arabic yr this 10th and pray for a more fruitful n prosperous yr.. Khudafiz!!

Friday Night Party - 281207

facebook

2007-12-27T12:43:00.000-08:00

Er how do you use Facebook?

Hmmm.

Help.

leo and cancer

2007-12-17T04:54:00.000-08:00

What's the best aspect of a Leo-Cancer relationship?

Their mutual commitment to a sincere relationship. Together this pair can share a supportive, positive and healthy vibe. People see them as a winning combination, and their mutual desire for a secure, loving relationship makes them strive for harmony.

Always thought I'd love to end up with a Scorpio boyfriend, but it seems that a Leo boyfriend wouldn't be too bad after all...

...to be continued....

st james haspening

2007-12-16T09:11:00.001-08:00

Happening lah saturday night - St James Powerstation.

Me and Liah, running around like idiots from Powerhouse to Boiler to Movida.

Alas, Movida was the sexxx. Topped off the night with a bunch of newly found indian lost brothers and had a ballistic good time. Met Suni (=D) and followed the entire indian bunch down to Khushi where everyone was literally, 'khushi'.

Ok so i was khush too.

And so was Liah.

Never imagined that we could have so much fun together.

Take care ya'll.

pictures gallloorrre

2007-12-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

Timbre with the boys - 13/12/07

Fir and yours truly.

Singing boys.

Abdullah n Fir.

I love the color of my cherry nails!

cousins - Hussein n Abdullah

cousins - Zahir n Mira.

cute boys.

timbre's stage.

the bar area.

Bluffmasters - Sen,Zeyr,Ab,Fir.

Eh hi.

The bunch.

Abdullah n Fir, colgate buddies.

Ok now spastic buddies. But we all were spastic anyways.

My thursday nights will never be the same again.

first of december

2007-12-10T04:09:00.000-08:00

Helloo people.

I've been rather quiet lately. Not cos of lack of action - cos i think i've had a bit too much. Been rather preoccupied you see.

Am at dhoby ghaut with Liah now, at the internet cafe nearby. Another reason i've not been ranting online is also because my computers at home have all (including the Viao!) gone KONK.

Let's not remind me of the heartache,shall we.

So now.. i am in the sudden mood to pen down thoughts cos i'm accompanied by the sounds of Tonight/Ximera. Such a lovely song. I'm forever in love with it really.

So my days have been good and spiritually fruitful. I have bid goodbye to partying in december and am actually dampened (not in a bad way though) by the wet weather this month has brought. Such lovely weather dont you think!

My days have also brought me closer to more worthwhile human beings in my life - Friends have been fantastic. Been having a good dose of all sorts. Simply put, Life's smiling on me.

And *jeng jeng jeng* I'm now a student with Darul Arqam,attending their Basic Islamic Knowledge classes every sunday mornings now. Don't laugh k, i need to learn more about my religion. =)

2008 will promise a more fruitful year ahead Insyallah, accompanied by the beautiful people i have in my life.

Oh! Yes, finally..it's MR &MRS SUHAIRY. =) Selamat Pengantin Baru to 2 wonderful people in my life...
They're off to Brisbane for their week-long honeymoon. Yay.

I took many photos. But of which, i am lazy to upload la. Typical of me right. haha.
But as i always do, i'll promise to put them up someday.

Someday when i have the ilham lah like that.

So people, till you hear from me again!

now noe noe

2007-11-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Hello,

I'm finally back to blogging mood after an uncalled hiatus that seemed like eternity. The past weeks of Life has seen me laugh, complete, incomplete,cry,yell,frustrate,and love. All in the name of drama people, all in the name of drama.

Unlike others, this chain of events tat took an emotional tax on me was pretty unexpected. I never wanted to experience all the shiznits but i guess i'm contented wit what i've gotten out of it - Life Lessons Learnt.

I've been told that i'm tooo selfless at time. I've been told i give in tooo much. I've been told i get comfortable around people tooo easily. And i've also been told that i'm tooo nice sometimes.

Well SOCIETY,
that's just me. I am somehow Taliban. Extremist. I don't have midtones. I either like you or i don't. I'm either nice to you or i'm not. You're either a darling or a dickhead. Period.

Let's see.

FAMILY
The family's been goood. Had a warm Ramadhan and an even fruitful Syawal. A very fruitful Syawal infact, repaired ties with the extended relatives and now have 2 new people in my life. The cousins i didn't grow up with - Zahir and Shafi. Thank God i found them again. They're like the brothers i never had so yay Mira has brothers now.

FRIENDS
Friends have been wonderful though most of the time i feel like i'm not being a good friend to some. Been lacking in that department cos trust me people, i've been super lost these days.

SOCIAL LIFE
Attended one too many chalet parties for the past weeks.First was Zahir's 21st birthday chalet that had me spending 2 nights at - WOH GAWD was it infested wit indians (of all color and charm) and i was the only female amongst the hordes of indian males that made good kickass company - then it was Shinday's chalet that i got my ass at unexpectedly at the last minute thaaanks to Bhai (that one full of bhais and good-looking,punjabi-speaking indians *melts*). That one also, saw me being the only female around. I'm telling you, i am never attending another male-infested chalet. Cos indian males + chalet = TOTAL CHAOS.

Mul's 19th had us karaokeing to our hearts' contents at Bedok and i had a ball of a time watching the girls singing n laughing and dancing to Pop Yeh Yeh. We're nuts man. Sung to songs people don't usually sing to while at a KTV. Amidst the madness of a fun time, the most fantastic part was being by Mul's side ushering in her 19th year together. I love her. (God, she dreamt of Akon lah sia the other night.)

Halloween 2007 was spent wit Siti and Liah, the girls from Fullerton and saw us grinding each other to a sucky crowd at Plush. Didn't really enjoy the party but definitely enjoyed my time wit the girls. Then about a few days back on a thursday night, celebrated Shafi's 20th at DBL O and had Zahir,Shafi,Imran,Souher and myself as animals. With much drama before and after the party to add to that.

##

Yes people. My life, has been so melodramatic. I have nothing else to say to that. Everything happened too fast and next thing i know, it's a brand new day again.

As quoted by Safrina my jaanu,
Life is full of surprises and every step is a learning process. You can never know where life brings you, who life meets you to.

But to this new friendship he and i have, i pray it'll stretch for years - seeing us grow into young adults and circumvening life's toughest. seeing us finding happiness to getting married and having families of our own. It is phenominal,the presence of him - even as a friend. Cos i guess friendship does work in wonderful ways.

Like i said earlier in my previous entries, to new friends to come, my time with them is later. And yes i've met that friend and my time with him romantically was over but that didn't spell the end between us. And i appreciate it, Bhai. You scoundrel asshole kental dickhead. =)

Ok lah people actually i have work tomorrow but i knew that if i don't sit my ass and blog tonight, i'll never be blogging anytime soon so i'll make the best out of my precious time. Mira and her procrastinative nature still lives on sia. I hate this trait of mine. I don't know how i'll be mothering kids with this trait, i swear. But then again i do hope the maternal instincts would do wonders la.

Alright last but not least to those nto mentioned, you're not forgotten. I love you guys,still.

Wasalam.

I'M BACK!!

2007-11-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

MIRA'S BACK, KICKING SOME FUCKING GOOD ASS!!!!

www.meeracle.multiply.com

bye bhai

2007-11-03T23:49:00.001-07:00

It's come to this point in life again.

I'm just loss for words,literally. I'll just let my body do the resting and my emotions do the bruising. I'm bruised, again.

My life for the past one week has been such a rollercoaster ride.

Thank you, SMF.

It's been wonderful knowing you and being a part of your life. But for now, i'll take my flight. It's was an incredible eight nights knowing you, laughing with you, talking to you, seeing you at your most lowest and being with you..

I hope you'll find happiness in the near future. And i hope i'll find happiness too.

Till i see you again in our tomorrows. Let this be for the best of our worlds.

....Khudafiz.

would u?

2007-10-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

would you do anything in the world for the person who makes you most happy? would you bear losing the person you're most comfortable with just because of circumstance??

i seriously don't know what my luck is with the male species. and i'm not saying this after another failed episode with love. no,no. nothing like that. i'm just sitting here on my ass on a rainy tuesday night typing away the words that first come to mind.

easier said, i'm in zen mode.

but seriously ah,

when you've met a person who has made you soooo happy...beyond comparison, beyond explanation...would you bear losing the person to circumstance?

it's not about the wait. it's not about not being able to have the person in your arms again. but fuck, it's about not having any circumstance coming in the way between the two.

seriously, it's like the magnet i've been searching more.. the connection is out of this world and he just blows my mind away ah, literally. this connection i tell you..is deep. deep.

i didn't want to expose anything from our relation ah. i didn't want to let the world know as yet about we two. but ah it's just fucking me up la..the circumstance. i wanna be real sure this time round..and i don't wanna be mistaken again.

and knowing you deeper, i know i'll not be mistaken. i know i have you for real and i know you're real. i admire your integrity and honesty, that's what's bringing me closer to you. for when i'm with you, i don't have to lie to myself and be fearful of whether or not it's real..cos you are real.

we've been meeting every fucking day since the first time we met. and even with your tight schedule, you'll always squeeze in time to meet me even if it means minusing off a few hours from your sleep at night. even if it means a simple casual lunch that i have to rush through with cos of time constraint. even if it means after i've met my girlfriends and just about to retire for home.

i dunno ah Bhai,

you're just amazing. BUT. you're not perfect. you come with a baggage that i know you'll dispose off once your mind's clear but that spells me having to have patience in abundance. and me being me, i don't know if i can do it. tell me ah Bhai, do i have to prove myself further? do i have to impress you more? i know that's not the case ah Bhai cos with you, i'm real. Realer than ever ah Bhai. and i know you never want me to be fake, never want me to fake anything at all. you'd accomodate to me the way i'm accomodating to you.

you asked me just now in the car,
'why you being so nice to me?'.

i tell you ah Bhai. if ah..that baggage of yours never existed ah.. i can daresay this ah Bhai.. in time to come, i'd give you my allll ah sia.. my alll.
cos you've proved that you really are worth it ah. just that...at the end of the day... the hindrance is...your baggage.

Ok ah Bhai i tired and i want to sleep already ah. Sorry if just now i didn't help you out much by advicing you further or what bullshit fuck..but i'm confident to say that i did make you feel better and consoled you enough. you're a big boy. you can think. i just want you to stop punching yourself for it.. i just want you to stop feeling fucked up about yourself about what's happening in your life right now. like i said, who the fuck you kidding boy. Two things - don't ever deny yourself and don't ever lie to yourself.

You're gonna go far. and i don't want this to end..not now atleast.

so i'll hear from u again when tmr comes, just like always.. we'll talk again at ungodly times of the day and then we'll hope to squeeze in time to meet each other again..

till then,
take care and Tawaqal.

greek god

2007-10-25T01:44:00.000-07:00

My Greek God.

Michalis Xatzigiannis is the sex

2007-10-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

From Anouk Spitzer.

"My name is Anouk Spitzer. My father, Andre Spitzer, was a member of the Israeli team that competed in the Olympic Games in Munich, Germany in September, 1972.

35 years have passed since the brutal massacre of our loved ones, the Munich 11. For us, the families of the 11 innocent victims it seems that time does not heal the wounds.

For almost 34 years we have walked the long, lonely road, knowing that we will never forget and never forgive.

We, the 14 orphans, most of who were only babies at the time, have become adults. Our mothers have tried to raise us without hate in our hearts- a difficult feat since nobody has ever taken responsibility for this violent act of terror.

We were never looking for revenge, only for justice.

Our mission is to remind the world of what happened in Munich 1972, because we know that those who forget history are bound to repeat it.This reminds the world that terror will never win. We have to speak up, remember, remind and condemn such acts so that things like this will never happen again.

Our loved ones came to the Olympic games to realize their dreams- to participate in the festival of love, brotherhood and fair play, they proudly held the Israeli flag when they entered the Olympic stadium but they all came home in coffins wrapped in that same flag.

I would like to thank you for giving me this opportunity to honor my father. I was only 2 months old when he died and I know that he must be looking down at this very moment with tremendous pride.

In their memory, compete with pride, brotherhood and fair play.It is through these Games, that I can be assured the my father and his fellow competitors will be remembered for generations to come. Thank you."

munich massacre

2007-10-23T12:49:00.000-07:00

Timecheck : 0350 hrs on 24th Oct 2007.

I have just finished watching a documentary on National Geography about the 1972 Munich Olympic Massacre.

One word ; riveting.

It makes me wonder... how secure is our present world, really? How we Singaporeans live our days, in the comfort of our own skin..taking for granted that we're really safe.

Noone in this world can guarantee us proper security,no?

As quoted from one of the verses in the holy Quran, He who kills a man, kills the entire of Mankind..

Terrorism is really a fearful phenomenon. And we can't deny that somehow or rather we are affected by it's plague. But seriously, it isn't anything new. It's been going on since the time of our forefathers and has been a century old tradition in many parts of the world, considered to be the way of life. It's how Palestinian boys become men.

I've seen footages of how Terrorism incurs brutality upon innocent lives. I've seen pictures, widely spread through emails, of a Palestinian boy crying in desperation while holding his bloodied,dying mother in his arms while he spends his last few moments with her. People in that part of the world live like this everyday, not guaranteed whether they'd see the next sunrise.

When a woman is killed, she could've been a mother, or a daughter.. For Heaven's sake, she could've even been a wife..

And what crime could an innocent child possibly commit to be a victim of Terror? So brutally murdered in broad daylight as if he didn't deserve to live?

Noone deserves to die.. Only God has the right to take life away, to pull out the final bit of soul from you..

Seeing how the events of the 1972 Munich Massacre took place, i wonder if what the Palestinians did to the Israeli athletes brought them any pleasure. They (terrorists from the Palestinian guerillas Black September) held 9 athletes hostage, in return demanded the Israeli government to release 243 Palestinian prisoners held captive in several Israeli prisons.

The ordeal took an entire day from dusk till dawn, ended in a fierce exchange of arsenal and bloodbath, killing all 9 Jewish athletes, 5 Palestinian gunmen and 2 of the terrorists.

Did it bring Palestin pride? I doubt so.

But it left about 14 children fatherless, including the then-only-5-week-old baby daughter of Andre Spitzer.

I'm not trying to defame my fellow muslims by regarding the Jews. Yes, those athletes were Jews - the most poignant tale of all was Andre Spitzer's ; Israeli Fencing Coach for the 1972 Olympic games. He was married about a year back to the love of his life and they had just given birth to baby girl 5 weeks back - How even after his death, his wife struggled for 20 years to piece back together the events of that uneventful day. Ankie Spitzer managed to fit the puzzle and finally made herself heard for no woman should ever go though what she did ; losing her husband in such a manner and having to upbring their child ( the only memory left of him ) single-handedly.

My respect to a woman of such strength and determination, driven by love.

Ankie looking at the bed of her deceased husband,

where he spent the last day of his life on..

##

Terrorism isn't the way and every human being deserves the right to live.

Wasalaam.

brought me to tears

2007-10-11T05:23:00.000-07:00

Nadia Cheong's blog entry posted on the 2nd of Oct 2007 was one of the most riveting blog entries i've ever read in my years blogging.

Reading through, i summoned tears of gratitude.

I actually cried reading her post. You know difficult it is to get Mira to cry? Before i even continue, i'm no stone-hearted person either. The reason why i said it's difficult for me to cry isn't due to any bilogical defficiency or psychological disorder. It's just that i have a strong sense of faith an passion for life, hence i try my level best to not shed tears for certain things in life.

But reading through her post, i fell to my knees in surrender. Not because it was a story of hers. But because it was the truth. Truth about mankind and life after death. About God and His power over us mere servants. Moreover, it was the truth about the world's most beautiful phenomenon, ISLAM.

Sometimes i wonder, how long do i have in this world and why i was born as a human being and not anything less. Why was i from a mother named Salamah and a father, Abdullah? Why was i made the eldest of two sisters and why do i evolve to become who i am today?

Why do i have certain people in my life and why was i faced with certain other challenges? The whys make an endless list yet through time, it is unanswered. But faith comes to those who believe ; it is said and i can't agree more.

Have you ever had, at any point in your life, felt like there is this voice inside of you that brings you through each day? Some kinda gut feeling or in other terms, instinct that never failed you? Where does this come from?

You know, i could sit down here on my ass and ponder on this psychological thought all my life till the next Ramadhan but i'll go nowhere but Lostville.

It is a shame that people are met with challenges each day and do not take it upon themselves to sit down and reflect on it. While others out there share good lives, fortunate enough to breeze through teenhood and early adolescent years, there are others who crawl through growing up, suffering at each stage of revolution.

Then there's the part where Satan sits on you like you BFF and he hounds you to go astray. But hell, i believe that however astray a person can be, he/she will always bow down and return to the correct path.

Looking back at the photograph of Ar-Raudah and the Holy Ka'abah i hang proudly above my headboard, i remember telling myself - never in a million years did i ever think i could come to as close as i did to God. With all the sins i drowned myself into, all the empty happiness and pretended contentment with life, i was nowhere close to being grateful or to God.
I look at the picture of Makkah Muqarramah and i remember saying to myself once that i'm not ready to visit the Holy land of God. But early this year, i believe, i was invited upon special request to visit Al-Haram and perform my pilgrimage. Because i remember that day when my mother summoned the question - "Meer, nak pergi Umrah?" - and i sat there looking at her and without a doubt, answered "Yes Ma.".

And so the journey began and now i am here.

At this point of my life again when everything would normally seem like a haze, my heightened faith in God has helped me attain a calm and peaceful stature.

I'm not pious, nor am i 100% devoted to my religion as yet, but all i am saying is.. i was once an impecible human being and with challenges in my life, i turned out to be pretty ok.

No more internal battles that i thought i'd fight on my own cos now i know, I'm never alone.

And this Ramadhan has been a subtle affair for me. As i grow closer to what i call my family and open up a new avenue of challenges. How i was able to circumvene trivial matters pertaining to my single life and not let it affect me the way it did one year ago when i was dating a scumbag.
How i've learnt to prioritise whats more important than the other and who's more important that what.

And at the end of the day, whats important to me is not knowing that i'm young and be stupid, but know that i'm young and that i'm growing older. To know that what i do and how i spend my youth will affect my golden days and that i will be questioned about it in my life hereafter.

Nothing in this world could put a frown on my face anymore, nor could it break my already mended heart again. Because now onwards, Mira wants to be on the safe side. I'm done with living my life recklessly and carelessly. I'm all up for being careful and safe, homely and warm.

It's that fuzzy feeling that greets me at the end of every tiring day, knowing that what and who i have in my life right now is all that matters. For new friendships that have yet to come, my time with them would be later.

I am grateful. Eid Mubarak ya Muslimah.

twisties

2007-10-11T04:31:00.000-07:00

Eid Mubarak in advance to all my muslim friends out there.

Have not been blogging due to the unexpected twists and turns in life nowsadays. Don't get me wrong, they're fun. And challenging, and very worthwhile.

Eidulfitri is just around the corner. And i remember my life one year ago. Looking back at the past one year of my life, it's been amazing.

It is really funny and scary how change can affect your life in just one year.

One year folks, is all you need.

Alright folks, i'm very random actually today. So bye now.

woahhow

2007-10-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

It's 4 in the morning and i just got back from a short trip to jb with adib and friend.
It was impromptu and it was super fun with his dad's car..and it proved that 3 heads are better than 1 when it comes to directions in jb.

Bought ciggies, had sahur at singgah(tak)selalu and topped up petrol for his Ford. He ah..speed demon i tell you. We arrived at about 0130hrs, and left jb at 0330 hrs. and i reached home at 0345 hrs. madness.

you see, i realised something.

planning things aren't always easy and the way to go. Here's why.

- Like i've always wanted to have a karaoke session sometime during Ramadhan or after, i ended up having an impromptu outing with Liah the other night at Cashbox and we had a decent,swinging good time.

-Then i always thought that Saf,Mul,Tikah and I should go geylang-ing together sometime, then voila! we coincidentally ended up at geylang last friday night - unplanned.

- Lastly, i did wanna visit JB sometime during Ramadhan..but with the boys of course ; if anything were to be planned. But noooo...it was super impromptu with adib and gadafi and the next thing i know, i'm across the causeway already.

*BIG GRIN*

I'm glad i got to feed certain desires. Then the rest of the remaining Ramadhan will be spent grooming and spring-cleaning. Oh and i'm down with sore eyes, so my life kinda sucks as of now.
It's been good...my Ramadhan. It helps that i haven't gotten my menses, so that means i've not left any days..and am hoping that these last ten nights of Ramadhan would bring me the opportunity to experience Lailatul Qadar, the Night of Power. Insyallah.

I hope Shazia reads this and gets the hint, that insane woman. i miss her to bits and i need her like a minah needs her sex. ( as quoted by Vish the hottie)

Alright you guys..i'm off to Lala land for now. toodles.

cashbox

2007-09-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

Had a blast the other night with the crazy bunch at Cashbox Ming Aracade.

Too lazy to upload the influx (about a thousand or so) of pictures taken. So i shall dump them all in the multiply account. But not now lah, still under construction.

Here's a sneek peak into what happened. =)

Liah and Mira - madness!

boy & girl...i miss him.

boyyysss!!

crazy people at 6 in the morning at orchard rd.

K lah you all. take care hor. last ten nights of Ramadhan and it's said that Lailatul Qadar is on the 25th of Ramadhan. Let's grab it folks and bring it to the best of our advantage!

And woooot woooot!! Colt's coming back in 2 weeks' time!! ZOMGawd time flies super fast lah.

Sigh.

Ok ok, toodles now.

off to Darul Aman for Terawih with Jaanu...

recap.

2007-09-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

Good morning, something i stumbled upon on Mul's abode. I liiike.

List out your top 5 birthday presents u wish for:
(I'll be twenty the next time i celebrate a birthday so i'll try not to be kiddish. yay.)

1) A trip to the maldives.
2) A handmade card from my family (with all the love in the world)
3) a sony mp3 with seinheiser speakers for GOD'S SAKE.
4) a nice wallet from Guess by Marciano.
5) and lastly, a super cute ladies watch from DKNY/Police/Guess.

* coughs *

1. The person who tagged u is:
My very own Mul.

2. Your relationship with her is:
Friends since fifteen!

3. Your 5 impressions of her:
1) blessed with an outrageously stunning figure. (i'm so male,i know)
2) smart
3) opinionated
4) sarcastic (on the fun side)
5) downright adorable

4. The most memorable thing she has done for you:
..When she came to my place in the middle of the night before my trip to Langkawi (march 2007) and stayed up all nightwith me till i left for M'sia. It was gonna be the last time i'd see her before she left for Myanmar for 3 months.

5. The most memorable words she has said to you:
Calling me "Meer" is heartwarming enough.=)

6. If she becomes your lover, you will?:
I will..er try to grow taller?? embarassing sia my gf taller than me!

7. If she's your lover, what she has to improve on?:
She should improve on being more mentel..hahaha!

8. If she becomes your enemy, you will:
I'd seriously wanna reconcile. Why would Mul and me be enemies??

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason is:
Cos erm..she makes better cookies than me?

10. The most desired thing you would like to do for her now is?:
Attend my next birthday gathering..she's missed 2 years now!

11. Your overall impression of her:
She's a wonderful,honest/genuine lady who's gonna grow up good and marry the man of her dreams. =)

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you:
An eccentric being with no qualms about shame. Ok no. Actually, a person who learns life the hard way. Boo...

13. The character you love about yourself is:
I'm very protective over the ones i love and am not afraid to open a fist for them if need be.(typical indian)

14. On the contrary, what character you hate about yourself:
I can get fickle and very emotional/sensitive on issues people don't usually pay much attention to.

15. The most ideal person you would like to be:
My mother - Salamah Husein Shah - 100% of love, endurance, strength, and goodwill, always in the arms of the Almighty leading a good spiritual pathwith mental strength and resilience.

16. For the people who cared & liked you, you wanna say something to them:
People, God bless ya'll.

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about u. Hey, please do k? Its quite fun though its long. Thanks (:

1) Imran
2) Safrina
3) Siti
4) Liah
5) Ayul
6) Shazia
7) Tanya
8) Adib
9) Ahmad
10)PQ

Who's #2 having relationship with:-
With a good guy, really.

Is #9 a female/male:-
A little bit of both. haha!

If #1 & #10 be together, will it be a good thing:-
NO!!!!! NEVERRR!!! My poor baby sister...=(

#2 studying about:-
Some kickass course at TP..mobile & wireless computing or something like that..

When was the last time you chatted with #3:-
Yesterday..she spoke to me over the phone and gave me moral support before my interview..

What kind of music does # 8 like:-
choppy blink music and jason mraz. and soapy love songs and lifehouse. haha!

Does #6 has any siblings?:-
One younger sister who sounds EXACTLY like her and always like to fool me over the phone. lol.

Will u woo # 3?:-
No thanks eh i'm not lesbian like that.

How about #7?:-
Eh please!

Is #4 single:-
yeah...just recently joined the club..welcome to the club, babe.

Surname of #5:-
Sahril??

What's the hobby of #5-
Checking out big sec sch girls' boobs. haha kidding. dunno man, last time i met him was iceage. thanks eh.

#3 studying at:-
she ain't studying no more.

Have you tried developing feelings for #8?:-
For Adib?! well..not anytime in the present, but yeah i guess i kinda had a thing for him waaay back when we were still colleagues. But it died down as soon as we became close cos..he's just so enigmatic.

Where does #9 live:-
Somewhere in Pasir Ris and i'm gonna barge into his home this Aidilfitri cos his mum is super friendly and makes the best spaghetti everrr!

What colour does #4 like:-
As i've noticed, purple.

Are #1 and #3 best friends?:-
No sia...they've never met seyyy...

Does #7 like #2?:-
they've not met either but i'm sure they'll like each other.

How do you know #2:-
secondary school days...i miss being a student back in sec sch...aaaah sweet sixteen...

Does #5 have a pet?:-
yeah, his bike. =)

Hahaha! Spread the love, people. Chow!

represent,cuba!

2007-09-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hello wonderful people.

As i sit here on my ass to blog, i realised something - sleep is very important.

I am one person who needs sleep in order to function the next day properly. Even with a lack of an hour of sleep per day, i get all haywire (but minimal) performing my daily routine.

Ok so today has been a good day for me. I just got off from work. Five straight days of shift mengaruts ; 5pm - 12am shifts. (Thanks for the nightlife Mimi.)

And why my day was good was because i ended work with my most favourite people - Mak Liah and Mak Siti. I love them to bits and at the fact that it was us three towards the end of my shift.

*hugs*

Bitchy!!

Anyhooos.

I gotsa go do some paperwork for my mum, she's setting exam papers for her primary school kids and guess what, i'm typing them out. God bless their souls. Good luck,kids.

And oh, oh!

Ramadhan mubarak to those muslims i know, don't know, and will know. It's been a good phase for me and i'm enjoying everybit of it. From geylang with Saf and company on her birthday last thrusday to geylang with Imran on his birthday last night (..whats up with me and bringing birthday kids to geylang..) to sahur at 89.7 kedai kopi with the boys Im, Idz (Colt's baby brother. I miss Colt! ),Alim and Noh. Woah it's been fantastic. And coming right up is outing on Friday with the dudettes from Fullerton - Myself, Liah,Siti and Fazimah. We are seriously gonna bring geylang down. Just realised i'm so geylangy. Oh and not to mention the mouth-watering dinner we all were blessed to devour at Saf's place during her birthday dinner (my most sincerestest compliments to the gorgeous chef, Bhee). Her sister makes kickass sambal kangkong lah, seriously.

Looking forward to Raya.

My house underwent a total transformation from the doors to the toilets to the flooring, you name it. Mum even purchased chandeliers for our humble abode. We're even gonna be biding our loyal Isis a warm farewell for the new addition to the family, a Honda Stepwagon Twin Turbo.

Ooookay that's quite a sum of catching up aye. Yes, i shall also be making my way to Nadia's home this weekend to pass her the supposed-to-arrive-three-months-ago kurma 'ajwa from Medinah.

But wait, there's just one person (in billions God created) that i have been meaning to meet during this holy month. Let's see...gorgeous inside out, insane and blessed with an outrageous sense of humor. Shazia Niloufer Quadri, i am in need of you.

So i shall end this post with an honorable tribute to the great friend - Imran Ishak.

Here goes..

Asshole, you have no idea how far i'd swim the seas and hike the mountains just for you. On this special day that you turn twentytwo, i wish you many happy returns. You're my best buddy, my brother, my sister, my girlfriend, my boyfriend (unsexual), my bitch, my gay partner and above all... my bestfriend. In years to come, i wish to see you evolve on every twentyfourth of september and spend if not much, a minimal part of the day celebrating the years rolling in with you. And yes, you're so special, i know you'd be the only guy in my room on the night before my wedding, amidst my other girlfriends (with stinking henna on their hands) and my (i'm so gonna be peeing in my dress) excited self.

You've seen me through a part of Izwan, a whole chunk of Azman (from the fat blonde minah at geylang to spotting him as a private in your ns days to him getting fucking married to some tamil heroine) and the initial steps of Rashid (let there be progress hereafter, Amin). You've seen me long-haired, hijab-ed, short spunky almost male haired and above all, you judged me not once.

I love you friend, a prayer for a whole lifetime of friendship ahead. Amin.

Happy 22nd.

(lagi 3 tahun kau belum kahwin aku terajang bontot kau)

Ok peeps.

I'm off to typing and paperworking and then sleeping and then fasting. And then working and then the cycle starts all over again. But ooooh, we're gonna be seafooding during the weekends so yumm yumm. Eh Im, kiter try Marina Bay nyer seafood lah k takmo Newton je naik jelak aku.

Oraaaits.

Gooznait my loves.

may i suggest

2007-09-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Hello.

A rare night for me to blog, i just got home from work. Now i'm so fresh, so clean.

I have many things to say but due to the lack of energy, i shall just save it for some other time (eg. TOMORROW).

Kinda like a dedication to 3 wonderful people in my life ; not that you aren't any less wonderful.
Just that i've been having these thoughts about these 3 who have, in more ways than one, made an impact in my life over the past 2 weeks or so.

Alright so now, i need to catch up on some sleep and then wake up for sahur.

Ramadhans have always brought blessings in disguise for me.

And i am missing you lah you pakcik in cambodia. your brother's been filling up good for the time you're not here but how i always wished it was you.

Toodles for now.

...and my intended trip to Nikoi is so....well, not happening anytime soon. i scare people at the mere mention of the name. ho well.

nikoi island

2007-09-16T03:24:00.002-07:00

It is set.

Nikoi Island here i come.

bellaluna...my beautiful luna...

2007-09-15T00:03:00.000-07:00

Aloooo??

Had a blast last night with a spontaneous outing with Adib. That dude was bored and i owed him ice-cream so voila.

We started our rendezvous at Mustaffa Ctre for some midnight grocery shopping - got ourselves 2 tubs of Ben & Jerry's and some fresh apple juice and milk for our lepak session.

After bidding the God-forsaken place (with a whole lot of gratitude) goodbye, we headed down to Clarke Quay to lepak and see drunk ang mohs. Seriously, single life brings two people to this.

welcome o Clarke Quay.

Nice and cosy and rowdy and pumping place.

drunk people on friday night = hilarious.

shy guy?

Adib has an expensive face,thank you. Dude doesn't like taking pictures for reasons unspoken. Riite. And so the night wore on with us sitting on the ledge of the bridge, watching indians digging ang mohs for an easy fuck, a bunch of thai girls intoxicated and being all rowdy, and another horde of white people with no sense of shame at all. With the pumping music coming from 1Nite Stand and Gotham, we were in a party of our own.

Munching on ice-cream while looking at singaporean nightlife on friday night = PRICELESS

Then we decided that it's time to go home cos then sahur was about an hour away, not until my dearest friend here, switched on what would probably be the best jazz number i've chanced upon all my life! Jason Mraz's Bellaluna is the works!!

So get this, we figured it wouldn't hurt if we were to park the car somewhere and blast Bellaluna through the speakers and just sing our hearts out. Pasir Ris park proved to be accomodative. Adib has an Amor Love Songs CD collection for christ sake. So yay we parked the car and had soapy love songs fill the dead night. Not mentioning my very low baritone voice compared to his alto.

It has come to this - two singles in a car, singing soapy cheesy love songs yet having the most refreshing and rejuvenating moments of their lives for the past month or so.

But seriously, it was funn and funnn and fooooh funnnn i tell ya! Outings with Adib are always a breather. phew.

Oh did i mention there was a road block? i've surpassed so many of those operations in all my late-night-driving life but it didn't hit me to be anything spectacular. So guess what girl wonder did. She snapped a photo. It looked like a major op going on ok. They kinda needed some paparazzi.

"hi sir where are you heading to??"

thank you for the ride. =)

So then we were late by an hour to reach home. All that singing kinda made us forget time. So toodles to him for the night, and i reached home safe and sound.

Today's Saturday, the first weekend of ramadhan and i.. need to go HMV to get Jason Mraz's cd collection. figured i'll just invest on something most worthwhile like that so i can bring it wherever i go. yahoo i'm so semangat like that.

Tonight meeting up with Colt's baby brother for him to pass me my basi atm card yang tidak berguna lagi. But it's so sweet of Colt to have left his brother my number and atm card to pass it to me. Amanah is a virtue, people. And i thank God Idrus text me today. I've been like searching for his number high and low just to get my card but alas, he found me already.

Yayness cos i'll be sahuring with the boys soon.

Till you hear from me again, this is girl wonder over and (hungry and) out.

ramzan's here!

2007-09-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan's finally here people!

Aren't we all feeling a lot more challenged in our everyday lives than usual?

This year's Ramadhan, i swear i wanna make it a fruitful one. Working days have been kind for me and i'm actually planning on making cakes for family and friends this year. =)

On a rainy friday afternoon like this, i'm scouting around the world wide web in search of a good recipe. I'll be making my orgasmic fruitcake anytime soon, and i'll spread the love no worries.
I am feeling very kitchen-y this month so i shall cook up a storm for the family for break fast tmr evening - spaghetti, with potato and cheese casserole. yummm yummm.

for the rest of today, i shall do what i do best - BUMM AROUND.
then it's the gym and pool after swimming.

and God help me, i miss alot of people nowadays.

Off to everyday life now. toodles.

saturday evening

2007-09-08T11:24:00.001-07:00

I like my Saturday.

Went swimming and gym-ing at SIA Sports Club (according to imran it's a prestigious club) and am left with an aching body now,thanks.

Had the boys out for swimming - Imran, brothers and cousins. So cute macam family outing gitu but i the only girl and i was so pochui - forgot that i was the only female with bra and panties and showed it to the WHOLE WIDE WORLD when i placed it on the table. thanks.

After swimming - famished! headed down to tamp st 43's Mr Teh Tarik for kickass prata.

Drove home, then went strrrraight out again to meet the green bench hantoos. Chilled at the kedai kopi techno and ripped my ass apart and built abs laughing my time away with that crazy bunch. Oh and this is official - Najip is a himbo. superr.

And i do find him subtly attractive yumm yumm.

*looks at imran*

minus the part that he can get gay and dumb. Dumb gay.

Time check : 0229 HRS

happily blogging away and updated my online profile on friendster and what not. updated pics taken as well and i realise i need another haircut. This time, super major horrifyingly short cos i feel like a man like that. wtvr.

i hate to say this but i miss Colt already and i swear i'm gonna dread the next 6 weeks without him but oh fuck it! this is life my dearest soul, so live with it.

Ramadhan's coming right up and i feel fuzzy. Goodness, it's been a year already??

Haiz. Sigh. Whack. It's been a madness of a year.

Not here to complain,
so i shall just go.

Goodnight.

face of mira abdullah

2007-09-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

This has been,

the many faces of Mira Abdullah.

Thank you i'm bored that's why.

Adios Amigos Muchachos.

summ it upp

2007-09-07T05:39:00.000-07:00

Aloooo??

Let's sum it up.

Pictures,pictures.

Lunch with Miss Fatihah (my colleague/neighbour) at Carl's Jr. The shiznit cos after the meal we were both bloated and pregnant with foooood. yummmyummm.

Nisa's 21st Birthday dinner surprise (not until Harry fumbled) at Fish & Co. parkway. I suprised her with a bouqet of white roses,a tiny cake and a pair of earrings. Voila! Happy twentyfirst.

Happy 21st Birthday my dear friend. A toast to many more years ahead.

Outing the other night to vidi. Bumped into few old friends, and met news ones. =))

Ladies in the cab singing a song of sixpence.

Fresh birthday girl with birthday outfit.

.....

....

From top to toe - girlfriend hanging over ans super pissed-ass drunk (laughs!),and the rest are pictures taken from inside his car - Colt's baby brother,Is, macampahaming being all regimental while the car pulls out of the carpark. Halim jantan-dayusing as he assists Colt in cashcard payment at the machine, and Hassan lagi macam paham at sedia position as we drove off.

Lepak.

Boys had fun, i had fun. =)

Colt's off overseas for six weeks for job-related reasons. I'm gonna miss him and i'll see him again soon. But for now, it's karaoke sessions and funny funn with his boys.

Realised i'm so dumb. I had a cam with me, snapped pictures of everyone else except Colt and myself. =( Will worm out that pic taken by Is outside 7-11 that night and have it for keeps.

Cute pic i tell ya - Myself,Colt and Halim. Colt action terror as always lah, pointing to the stars, Halim being all gay takbolehangkat step ensem and me, oh well, squeezing in with these tall twin towers.

Once i get hold of that pic, i'll post it up.

But for now, the weather's abit cranky and so is my nose. I've been given less days on my roster thus the abundant amount of free time in my hands.

Dude! this isn't the time for lack of activity in my life or i'll just drive myself nuts!And it doesn't help that my atm card's with Colt and he can't give it back to me cos he's already offshore. Thaaaanks ahhhh.

Ok so today will be a grey day for me. Sniff Sniff.

I hate weekends.

No Entry

2007-08-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

Hello hello.

How's everyone been?

I am clueless.

Ok so life has been a rather boring affair since i became a fullertonier.

Let's not go there.

Er.

I actually forgot how to blog.

Let me see.

I shall list down in random order, the events of my life for the past few days/weeks/hours or so.

##

Breakfast with Mul and Ifrah and pasir ris central on a bustling sunday morning - super singaporean and oh i love the weekend mornings!

Attended the Masjid Khadijah dinner at Furama Riverfront Hotel and had a ball of a time - met up with the gang who went to Umrah together, and it was really heart-warming and pleasant to see each other once again.

Met Imran and had a ball of a time in Central Singapore, walking from one place to another and had dinner at Lau Pa Sat.

Met Safrina for a short lunch date and sat at China Square's swing and swung and swung and swung...until my tummy gave way. (ssshhhh...)

Met Nisa at parkway parade's Mac smoking area without Harry and smoked our blues away....until we realised it was the evening of Nisfu Syaaban and both had to rush home to catch our prayers before 'Isya.

Had a karaoke session with the ex-bf with his bunch of cousins.. it was a totally pleautonic outing until he got cranky for no apparent reason, (no influence of alcohol whatsoever), and started talking pig crapon reconcillation between the both of us which the whole world knows is morally impossible taking into account the immense drama both of us could actually whip up in our ordinary lives. ....So yah, er he started talking pig crap, just to be married two weeks after.

Pure, classic, exampilary BASTARD.

ps: Note that the outing with the ex-bf took up a whole paragraph?? i swear it's that dramatic.

Ok continue.

Visited NewAsia Bar with Syam (my pregnant colleague who needed Shiraz to stimulate her hormones that night for reasons unspoken) and the only highlight of the entire place was it's height (frikkin 71st floor of the god-damn building you kidding me?!!).Seriously. Nothing fantastic.

My pathetic attempt on having a vacation - for a really pathetic excuse - i miss the beach - not entirely happening cos of my lack-of-decisive-nature mind when it comes deciding the next best vacation spot. Krabi or Tioman. Danggggg.

The past people's news catching up on me even though i am not kepo like that and i dislike worming into their shitt. It's just sad that i have to be told of such "look dude, it doesn't bother me." news. Seriously, i don't give a shit.

I have also, officially, become a less tolerant person towards other human beings and have a adopted a new pet ; my super acidic tongue. I don't know where it came from, but i seriously just speak my mind nowadays. Not that it's of any help to anything in my life, just that i refuse to receive nonsense from people. I have become a very solo person in a sense my kepo level has dropped beyond subzero.

Maybe it's my job nature.

Ok so i realise that i speak less and laugh less now, instead i listen,watch and understand more.

So you plastic idiots out there can go and die, literally.

I have nothing much to say now so ta-ta.

attitude's masquerade..

insomniac

2007-08-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

Time check : 0532 HRS.

I can't sleep. The head's light and groggy yet the mind is constantly active. Eyes are droopy but not heavy enough to fall into deep slumber.

Nine days straight at work, with another four days to go till my coming off day. This is by far, the craziest, insaniest thing i've ever done in my work life.

But the rewards at the end of the month will prove satisfying and will spell a full stomach.

Infidelity.
The misplace of the significant other's trust be it in marriage or anything else. I've been seeing it with my own eyes, hearing it from my own ears. It shocks the world and yet is a norm.

By the way,

How has the world been?

Chaotic? Peaceful?

How are the kids in Africa doing?

Still hungry? homeless?

Questions,questions.They never seem to be answered.

With all that's going on, i miss my people. I miss my mother and family. Most of all, i miss Adam.
Yes, that Adam who spent those days in Singapore with me. That Adam who opened to me another door.That Adam i called Capiche, my one and only cross-bred ghetto Londoner with a black british accent.

God, gone were the days my life filled with emptiness and nothings.

Come tomorrow, it's work at Fullerton. And the cycle goes on day by day. It's satisfying, yet it robs me of some sort of sanity. An ounce to be precise.

The future seems so far away yet i'm steadfasting into it.

The bus number three service has started as i hear the Scania engine roar across the dead street. I hear the clicking of the lap-top keypads and type these words.
And blogging has become a rare phenomenon for me.

Adam, i will see you again, only question is time. But till then..i will evolve, again.

Good morning Singapore.

Till you hear from me again.

pilates it off

2007-08-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

I took quite a number of pictures over the week. Pictures of my daily activities and what nots. But the thing is, i took it on Imran's hp since my camera was not with me.

So to retrieve those pictures from a lazy-ass krypton like him will take eons. And i really mean eons. That guy has some metabolism issue la.

Anyways

Back to basics.

As per many other people, my life has become somewhat like a show - i live it yet i watch myself pass by every waking second. I don't really make decisions nowadays, and i just go with the flow in many people's lives. One good thing coming out of all this though is the mere fact that i've started exercising.

Morning stretches and cycling, and midnight jogs.

Ok so i shall just wait till that lazy ass decides to upload pics, then post the whole horde here.

Till then,then.

blu

2007-08-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

Blue crystals, weed and temper?

Oh no, you're back to your old ways again.

Na'ah to this shitt this time round. All my ladies stand up now.

nails

2007-08-06T23:06:00.000-07:00

I didn't turn up for work today and i am feeling retarded.

I didn't turn up for work today because i overslept and was at the point of malfunction at the end of my shift yesterday.

After i clocked off at 1800 hrs, i met Nisa and Harry and had dinner at Marina Square. Soon after i met Tanya, and i headed home with her.

So the sum up of the number of hours of lack of sleep saw me missing my alarm clock for the first bloody time, hence my absence from work.

And i hate this feeling, wish i was at work with the crazy twisted bunch.

I stay home nobody pays me.

I go out and i divide my fortune.

Hmph.

Will be meeting Nisa again at parkway today for some girl talk.. i need to get out of the house cos of the constant drilling going on in the toilet.

It's driving me nuts.

So many days and hours spent at work has made me forget how it feels like to stay home.

Now now,

i need to take a shower.

But before i do that, this is..mochacino..

This is for pussies.

haleem

2007-08-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to blog about.

The last thing i did for myself was to get an express manicure in mochacino at Voxy.

I am so sleepy cos of the irregular block hours of sleep, i am now drowsy.

Just had dinner with the familia at Mak's Place and they have handsome banglas working there.

For now, a cigarette will do and someone is about to give me a phone call...

Heh.

i is tired

2007-07-31T21:52:00.000-07:00

It's a wednesday afternoon and i just woke up. Am working the B shift this entire week except weekends, which means i start at 3m everyday and end at 11pm. So it's kinda tiring for me i don't know why.

About two days ago marks the 2nd year death anniversary of Arwah Mohamed Zahid B Wahid, my school girl love. My first ever love. Wouldn't say it was a crush cos had he still been alive, i'd probably be digging him still.

I miss him and last night, i actually had a dream about him. In the dream, he told me that he's doing fine up there and was wondering if i remember him every now and then..

You see, he and i (when he was alive) never did really talk or hang out. But even though our contact was minimal, when he's passed on, i still remember him on certain dates example 6th Feb (His birthday day) 15th Feb 2001 (The day i gave him chocolates for valentines and told him i thought he was cute. sheesh. how brave for a 13 yr old uh), and of course, the 30th of July, his death anniversary.

It's so difficult to register the fact that Zahid's gone, even though it's been 2 years.

Arwah Zahid B Wahid, peace be upon you and may you rest in peace. Amin.

##

On the contrary,

I have minimal libido these days. Optimus hasn't been performing well. And so i'm being super single again.

Mind you, super single eh. Wowness.

So work has been zapping up almost all my time..and i love my job. I get to watch movies on our flatscreen in our PABX room when there's no influx of calls or all paperwork's done. Syiok kan.

And TV means channels like AXN,Star Movies,and E!Channel. The kinda shit (minus AXN) i don't get at home so yeah.

Anyways,

parents and sisters are off to Genting Highlands next week come the looong National Day holidays. That spells home-alone for me for 5 straight days but ah fuck i'll be working so yeah. Besides, i think i need to break away from my family. Haha.

Ok now let me leave you with some pics of Mira at work.

Girl & Boy in cab going to work together.

Both of us love our jobs yay.

Miss Fatihah (ex Siglap also) on the

phone with the admirer.

Keje kite gantooong je.

Roxy with 'a bag of sand' as quoted

from the movie 40-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN.

Ah the jokes we crack.

Mira at her desk, prepped for a pic.

Thank you for calling the Fullerton Hotel Singapore,

Operator Mira speaking how may i assist you?

OFF TO WORK NOW. TOODLES!

african mission

2007-07-28T10:30:00.001-07:00

My story as told by AOM.

10 years ago, a little girl of 9 was relishing her new present sprawled across the carpet. Her mind travelled the wonders of each continents as her young fingers scanned the plastic sheet; a colourful illustration of the map of the world. Slowly, she traced back to the African continent, where she heard that babies grew to the age of three, only to die of various diseases, having consumed no food after breast-milk. There where she have seen pictures of disproportionately shaped children suffering from kwashiokor. There, well-fed and safely within the four walls of her bedroom, with the kind of fervent certainty only children can achieve, she vowed to put in all her efforts to help the African society, to dedicate her future in alleviating the poverty and malnourishment of the African children. Right there and then, she had her life-goals laid in front of her.

8 years later, slightly intoxicated by the alcohol consumed after one of the frequently attended parties at a local club, her friends sat around at a coffeeshop and started a random topic, as usually happens under the influence. This one was about childhood ambitions. A science undergraduate mentioned his dreams of being a police officer. A technician told of how he had always wanted to be a lawyer. A school dropout laughed at his ingenuously juvenile dreams of becoming president. The now-teenage girl kept her forgotten moral dreams to herself.

Like dreams to dust.

dont speak hor.

2007-07-27T07:08:00.000-07:00

Sweetheart ; Mul. =)

yours truly with new haircut

Ok.

Whaaat a day it's been.

Started out with little sleep.

Friday work was awesome, i love morning shift.

Woke up at frikkin 4.45 am and i'm thinking to myself ;

I'm insaaane to have woken up this early just for work.

But yeah,morning shift rocks my socks cos time flies super fast.

Reached home just in time to catch my evening nap.

And so i woke up to a friday evening with people already making plans

for saturday night.

Balls, how long has it been since i've planned anything with people

for such things?

Eons lad.

So then bespren rented a Latio.

Drove around Pasir Ris Park and all.

Had my first kopek behind the wheels.

It was awesome.

I saw kakak rockers sitting on a tree about fifteen metres to my left

at the park. Sent a God-forsaken shiver down my spine.

My mind went blank and there was this sick pit in my tummy when i saw her.

White cloth with stale blood stains near the abdomen.

Long, black hair.

A lady, sitting in between the old trunks, faceless.

Swinging her legs as if in rhythm, i looked away.

So friday night turned into Saturday morning.

Figured i was locked out of the house due to my

absent-mindedness.

Went out with no house keys.

Pandai kan aku skejap.

Then a friend woke up at an ungodly hour and came by for breakfast at 5 am.

It was impromptu, every event of the night/morning, but it was something i needed.

A better adrenaline pump from lancing.

Reached Pasir Ris Central Kopitiam from my place in less than 4 minutes

flat, the minus-four-minutes ride sent my bones rattling.

His RVF was like a bullet.

Such top speed, such death-defying aerodynamics.

"Death streaked across my mind for an instance."

"Oh, that's usual".

And so my good nature in naming things/people came handy.

Now his is called RVF Raadea.

Such a beauty. Oh, and she squeaks too. =)

After breakfast he and I had nestled down at my area for some smokes.

Ended up having a morning of revolution.

In the past 2 years of friendship,

i swore i never knew him to be who he really is.

What haaaave i been doing as a friend, aye?

The question keeps pondering in my mind.

For someone of such nature to have such calibre,

i feel so thankful to have known him.

Adib, you're weird.

But yeah.

Creme de la Croppe uh.

So unexpected.

So unreal.

So you.

My tarot cards have flipped and now i probably think i know you better

than yesterdays.

And it's good, that i know you better than yesterdays.

It's good that i had that chat with you.

Shared certain insecurities about being single

which i think almost all single people out there harbour.

Kids at 9 and 10 who wanted to be a missionary in Africa

and a commercial jet pilot respectively.

Dreams all turned to dust as we grew up and evolved.

Morning breakfast with the sweetheart at geylang tmr at 8.

Work till 7 pm.

Then another week starts.

Oh how time flies.

And Batam would be good for some kickass massage eh Mul?

I need a manicure and a pedicure.

Now that the hair's short and spiky and jetfreakingblack,

it's easy maintainence.

And Tanya Beins is new love.

And i am so sleepy.

And i'm saying goodnight.

Now.

more than ever

2007-07-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

Horrrr

I am high on life, seriously. The new haircut is a real breather and a level up in confidence.
I love my hair, though im in a hijab and it has its days of being curly bastard..but i really do love what i can do with it.

It's like a boyfriend but a loyal one. Fucked up yet nice, curly yet sexy, has its bad days yet always a part of me. My mane till the very end.

Haha!

I will upload a photo of this latest haircut,soon. *coy smile*

2007 seems to be the year of sporting short hair for me yo. Just four months back in march i chopped off my mane, and i am at it again...but...this time...shorter. muahahaha.

Working at The Fullerton is really an eye-opener to wealth for me. I am surrounded by guests who sleep on money.

My first day at work was awesome. We are housing India's second richest bastard. Mr Srichand Hinduja has asstes worth 63.2 BILLION POUNDS. That's about 180 billion sing dollars. Baaaahstard. He's 70 and a strict vegetarian, a point to be noted by ALL service staff of the Fullerton. And if you're wondering what he's dealing with...well, he deals with selling arms and artillery. How cool.

Ok caaan, i feel so poor.

Girlfriends calling for a Girlfriend Night. Sounds like funnn. This is the best way to pull of my first day of work. How rewarding..

Ai Senoritas. Mi off to partimos!

Toodles.

picture this

2007-07-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

Picture this...

Quilt on the floor, room cold at twenty degrees. Aircon can be anal, too cold sometimes. Snuggled up under my sheets, laptop on the lap. Blogging, friendster-bulletining,friendster-commenting. Pack of cigarettes by my side with some warm milo to keep my intestines at body temperature. Accompanied by some super singlehood songs (Frankie J and sultry RnB = single life). Oh and Tamally Maak (Amr Diab) could spell singlehood too.

I'm feeling super single lah!!!

Not frowning upon those who are happily attached/married with eny though.

But balls, i didn't know being single was this refreshing. I'm getting used to this. I like.

And for your genuine info, the ex-bf from hell called today. His usual "hey im back into your life i hope you're doing fine" antics and hidden intentions were brushed off as soon as he acknowledged me. Funny, you're just like the other guys i swept away like left-overs on a kopitiam table.

I'm embracing this....i am....and i am in GLEE.

I'M SO SINGLE!!!

Woowooo

2007-07-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

This isn't meant to offend anyone in particular, really. Nor am i being racist.

But chinese men really have no manners. They are far from being gentleman, and are so super kiasu, especially when they're aging.

They're mean and selfish. I am saying this because of my experience in the bus on a Monday evening (about five hours ago).

Die-die want to board the bus first, dunno how to give way to proper-looking ladies like me. Die-die want to sit down in train/bus so their backsides won't hurt. If they don't get to sit while commuting, their ass would probably burst and rip apart or something.

And they don't even say 'excuse me'! How idiotic can these men be huh sometimes. The indians and the malay men aren't that bad you know. Nor are the eurasian, arab, or ang moh men.
I'm talking about forty-plus year old chinese men who don't give a damn to manners. PIGS.

On a happier note,
I am not jobless anymore. Weeks of interviews and waiting came to an end with a simple meet with Tanya, Souher's new friend aka my new friend too. =)All that energy and time spent hunting down jobs could probably win me a noble prize. The energy was like as if i was on pilgrimage or something.And if i was paid for every interview i went to, i could probably buy myself a new laptop now. CB.

So yes, negativity aside, I am with the Fullerton Hotel now, and this is finallll. If all goes well, i'd even be starting school come this January.
*gasps*

Balls, January is like only five months away!
See how time flies? It doesn't wait for you sia. Bitch.
And i made a new discovery about myself this morning - cigarettes on an empty stomach of mine fucks me up baaad.

I gots to go now.
Gooznait.

sunday lazy frikkish

2007-07-22T01:25:00.000-07:00

Sush a lazy weekend it's been for me. Didn't manage anything productive, but hey that's what the weekends are for innit?

But about half an hour from now, i have to clear out my entire kitchen cos of the second lap of renovation works tmr.

And i has to do it thyself cos mum is like this :

Mothers on sunday evenings, sigh. So what am i supposed to do for the rest of the day now? I have a thosai date with Shazia later on the night at central.

And i...am in a tough spot with Starbucks. Saf, believe it or not, i might not be working there. Haha. i have my reasons la. And i'm actually grateful that a second better offer was chanced upon.

We shall see how next week goes yeah?

Take care people.

ryan's lunch

2007-07-18T10:09:00.001-07:00

I have been watching quite a number of movies lately. For you movie junkies out there, it would probably be your daily dose.

But for a person like me, who's quarter of a half of a potato couch much less a movie junkie, the amount of productions i've been watching since a good month or so has been quite an amazing achievement.

Let me try and recall those movies and attempt on reviewing them, according to chronological order.

1) 911 - stars Nicolas Cage. Four stars for it's plot and five stars for it's cinematography. Based on the real-life events of September Eleven, the story was about a few good american men who survived being buried alive under the Ground Zero rubbel for days. True test of human spirit and emotional faith.

2) Wild Hogs - Stars John Travolta and company. Funny kickass movie. Stupid storyline but eccentric gay humor. WRONG MOVIE TO WATCH WHILE ON THE PLANE ON MY WAY TO JEDDAH.

3) I Think I Love My Wife - Stars the God of crude black-american humor, Chris Rock. About how an ordinary black married american with a perfect life fights temptations of infedility. Hilarious yet riveting ; if you understand the underlying message in the movie. Well, i did.

4) Little Man - nothing substantial at all just that probably, that Wyane guy looks hottt as a midget. A movie for the bujangs.

5) The Holiday - Stars Jude Law (my sex slave i keep in my wardrobe), Cameron Diaz, Jack Black and Kate Winslet. Best movie i've watched so far. Touching, hilarious and very very relatable all at the same time. =)

6) Fantastic Four - Jessica Alba etc.. ok lah. thumbs up for visual effects and all that. But the coolest thing about the movie was the American Muscle (Dodge engine) flying vehicle Mr Fantastic invented that could sit all Fantastics and split into three in times of crisis, and Human Torch's Dolce&Gabbana's suit he wore for the wedding.

7) Transformers - Stars Optimus Prime, Megatron and the other Autobot comrades and Decepticons. Five stars, ten upon ten for visual effects and making my jaw drop during almost all the show and how at-the-edge-of-the-seat i was watching it. Plus point was that scene when Josh Duhamel ( Captain Lennox of the U.S. Army ) had to make an important emergency call to the US Sec Def after all radio lines were down. Scene was supposedly in Qatar and call was made by a Qatari cellphone. Call was also made during a fierce exchange of arsenal between the Captain and the irritating Scorpion robot, and he was asked for his credit card number amidst the battle for payment of the international call.

WHAT THE FUCK, i know.

So yeah. That's 7 movies in a span of one month. Not bad ah Mira. For me, that's quite a number ya know. Minus all the Hindi movies i watch daily lah.. Hollywood's been pretty nice to me.

##

My wednesday was good. Ended up with a chillout session with the people from AMK. Fel, Adibah, Yunus (pronounced Yoonoooooos) and Imran made my day. Sent Isha (Imran's current flame of the forest super good catch who has my dream figure, damn you gurrrl!!!) off at the airport and met her for the first time. Though the introduction was short due to time constrains, i must say...she's suweeet.

Niiiice girl, niiiice girl.

Niiiice body too. Im, sorry but if you're in love with her, then i'm in love with her body.

Ok so Yunus invited us for his sister's wedding come this August, and i've been cordially invited to The Guy's Night the night before the wedding to join the guys in their project called "Cow Eat Grass".

This is codeword for whoever who'd understand.

*coy smile*

And now i am sleepy and tired an in need of some bread and nutella.

Gooznait,world.

autobots, transform!

2007-07-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

My new love.

I have a new-found love.

I have a new-found reason for a good libido on monday mornings and sunday nights.

I have a new-found craze for machines.

I am officially, as of this moment, maaadly in love with Optimus Prime.

I can still here your voice in my head, Prime. I still envision your built. I am so intrigued by the movie i watched just now where you were the leader of the Autobots and how your selfless nature saved Mankind.

I am in love with you,Prime. I am in love with your machinery, your character and your overall dominant presence.

You are the sexiest breathing machine i've ever laid my eyes on and you will always be ultimate.

God if you're listening to this insane message, please grant me one wish - for me to meet Optimus Prime in person. I'm not kidding, don't laugh. I seriously am in love with him. I want to meet a man who's exactly like him - a clean-cut handsome face with chiselled features and a gorgeous built, accompanied with a super sexy command-screaming voice,topped off with a big heart.

Thanks.

Optimus Prime - sexiest piece of metal.

ps: Thank you Micheal Bay, for a wonderful production.

human sacrifice

2007-07-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a story or two about sacrifice.

WHEN FRIENDS SACRIFICE

Had a recent phone conversation with my darling Safrina, and she and i reminisced about a time when i sacrificed my time for her.

Funny, it was one of the usual things we did ; talk on the phone for hours on end. Apparently, we talked on an evening i was supposed to work. I supposedly started at 6 pm that day, but i didn't turn up for work cos i enjoyed her company on the phone so much, i was willing to sacrifice $30 of my pay for her.

Yeah, the things we crazy beings do.

Then there are times when we have our late night philosophical (oh me and Saf can get super philosophical. We could probably win Emmys ) phone conversations and ended up talking till about 3 am or so.

Safrina turned up for work the next day, dead beat sleepy due to lack of sleep.

Aaaah... the wonders of sacrifice.

WHEN FAMILY SACRIFICE

I walked into my sisters' room just about ten minutes ago, and saw PQ, my youngest sister, sleeping on the floor.

See, my house is under renovation for the next 2 weeks or so and my room is vacant cos it's a makeshift store room to store in all the furniture for now. So i have to bunk in with the sisters on their two adjoined single beds for the next 13 nights.

Seeing my sister on the floor, i woke her up and questioned her being on the floor. The answer i received from a half-sleeping PQ made my heart fuzzy.

"So that you'll have more space on the bed."

She willingly gave up her comfy side of the bed so that i'd have more space to sleep.

How sweet could a sister be?

So now you see...when the ones you love sacrifice for you, it makes you think that anything in the world for them isn't impossible.

You'd do anything just to see that smile on their face.

And this episode, my lovelies, have given me another reason to hold my head up high in tough times.
Another reason to live, another reason to believe.

Alright, i'm sleepy now. There's nothing much to say apart from the usual dull-sunday activity i indulge myself in. You wouldn't wanna know now do you? i mean seriously.

Oh but wait! I did something fantastic today. I actually ironed two-thirds of the overdue laundry today. I ironed clothes! A good pat on the back for myself, cos i swear i never thought ironing would be so much fun, especially after seeing the empty laundry baskets you've worked hard on.

Come tmr, is a brand new week, a brand new day.

Life live to the fullest k! Enjoy your mondays!

santeriya?

2007-07-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

My absence or lack of updating has got nothing to do with a busy schedule. If it's anything, it's the lack of drive or "topics" to blog.

But since the past 72 hours or so, i've been seeing some activity. In my life, and in many other's.
Ok, am trying to get a full song on imeem but ended up getting a super beng kiah techno remix. Sembarang lah.

Alrite, back to basics.

I shall just dismember this post into several categories, so it'll be easier for my brain to function and hence,attempt to blog.

TODAY

Imran had an insight on how indian i could be. Rare sightings of me enjoying my masal thosai. Headed down to Selegie Rd to pay someone or rather, some place a visit. Afterwhich, i had my traditional south indian late lunch at some coffeeshop under the tekka market. It's famous lah, just that i don't know the name of that God-forsaken place. Spare me.

Masala thosai with hot milo is orgasmic. See that word spelt out in bold?? It's that orgasmic. Ok now try imagining me explaining to you how orgasmic it is just cos the word's in bold.

Late lunch aside, i needed to down myself with some traditional indian sweets. Try the ghulab jamun for a week and you'll end up diagnosed with diabetes the following monday,no joke. It was hell of a tasteful treat (at 80 fucken cents per piece, how cheap could good things be?), and it'll go straaaaiiiiggghhhhtttt to the ass,thanks.

Outing was only half a day, then headed home by evening. The other fruitful thing i did today besides visiting Little India and Mustafa Centre and going crazy at how amazing cheap indians are, was watching "Six Days Seven Nights" on tv at about 10pm.

Was a niiiice movie, niiiice one.

Sorry for this sidetrack, but i think Cesaria Evora's (Pronounced as See-Zay-Ria) rendition of Besame Mucho is amazing. Better than all the club remixes i tried listening to while blogging. Doesn't work on me.

.... And so, the day ends with me, here, on my ass in my comfortable room after a nice cool shower, typing all this shit out.

##

WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON AND WHAT I THINK OF IT.

See? the part "what i think of it" is in bold cos that's just about what i'm going to lay out.

I know, i know. it's none of my bloody business to poke my nose through this shit but hey, can't a girl have her opinions too?

Apparently, there's this blog-war of some sort going on between two people i know. Thing is, it's actually trivial stuff. Just that someone instigated the other, so wham! he gets it across his face like a tight slap. Sorry Imran, if all that talk about your opinions on this matter brought you nothing from me but silence and a mere "Ala buat bodoh je lah Im...yang sudah tu sudah...", but this is what i really really think.

Not that you need it anyway.

But yeah.

We girls are pretty sensitive when it comes to these kinda stuff. Like i said, reason why there was a fierce (ok somehow) exchange of opinions was cos she prolly felt that you better put a stop to it. Yeah, it's your blog and all.. you write what you want and all that bullshit but dude, people read your blog. Ok, atleast i do. And i was actually amazed at how you could pen down such a poetic movement that set the trail ablaze. I know it was a chunk of lyrics you drafted out on your own. But dude, they were deep. And ( this is what i think ) you can't completely say it wasn't directed at her when you've included things like "4 years of smiles and tears" and "hot chocolate to cold green tea" when you know that's her. Dude, i'm sorry but yeah. That's us females for you.

And so..you posted a pic of you guys back then in ice age. For you, it's a simple "So,what?". But dude... you DEFINITELY sent out a wrong signal.

So a wrong signal sent, was a ferocious reaction received.

And you can't blame her for reacting in that manner. I mean, i would too. Who in the bluest hell would wanna post a pic of me, differentiating the glow in my face over the years if, he (or a sick she) still hadn't a care in the world for me?

Flattering, but dude, it's over.

Then there's the after math of the war, where anonymous people who take pride in their privacy come in and share an opinion or two, thinking it's even needed.
Ok, i thank you for being generous and all...but please...don't pull me into this.

GET THIS,WORLD : I AM NOT IMRAN'S GIRLFRIEND.

sheeesh for the love of God.

I am his friend, his buddy. Atleast for now till he gets hitched. Probably soon? *looks at Adibah*

Ok, so after all this.. i'm not tryna defame you, boy. I'm just reminding you that girls will always be girls, whatever you say or blog. And it's best if you don't mention about her (much less post her picture) anymore on flooredflatout even though it's your blog. A mark of respect, shall we? Now we know she's happy and moved on...just be happy for her. Don't need to mention about her, cos that'll only spell trouble.

SO GET YOUR HEAVY BLACK ASS UP AND START GETTING A JOB SO YOU COULD START TREATING A LADY RIGHT.

DON'T BE LAZY UH.

SIDETRACK : VERBAL OUTBURST IN SHOCKING MARKET MALAY LANGUAGE.

Jangan nanti kau naik lemak..buat tu bidadari tunggu macam buah tak jatuh..take for granted she'll always be under the same impression yg kau ni mcm pakai bomoh kat die..which for your genuine info,tak dapat ah Imran pakai bomoh.

Kau lambat, pompan pun jalan.

Time lambat lah pompan nak tunggukan jantan maju, tul tak pompans of the world unite???
Kalau gitu macam criter nyer, nak kene tunggukan jantan kite maju, jantan yg tak nampak berhasil, mampos lah aku berkeladak. Tak dapat ah pompan zaman skarang setia and sanggup or maha penyabar nak tunggukan jantan tu maju, harap2 berhasil satu hari.

Tu satu hari mcm tak tiba2, kalau tu jantan tak bawak balek modal. Sorrie ah bro, kau akan tertinggal. Pasal ape, pompan zaman skarang seme ekspektasi mereka tinggi dok. Pasal kan, nanti kalau dah dewasa kelak kau pikir kite seme nak duk rumah lipat kain baju?? ehhh tak dapat ah. Sorrie time lambat nak dapat bini duk rumah lipat baju beresin hal rumahtangga. Kite seme dah maju dok, pompans of the world seme dah pandai pakai computer...dah pandai carik duit sendiri.

You no untung, i no kangkang. Haha! Sorry eh, Mira jadi lurid and crude siket. Siket jer, tahan jer lah kedi.

You talk no action, i no staying.

You think i love your face, eh sorry ah, you no money also you tak laku mane2 jgn ckp desker rd.

You think you hensem? you think you rich? ok mari sini i love you long time. but if you feeling2 only then sorry lah bawa ketiak mama ah kau pegi.

Jantan feeling2 dah takde tempat lagi eh dlm masyarakat ini where women are determined to outsmart the penises. Jantan2 pasrah nye turn pulak duk rumah gosok baju, tumbok sambal.

##

Real sorry for that segment, just thought i needed to let out some opinions. Wasn't directed at any penis in particular though, was just being generic. Super generic in fact. Was trying to tell Imran something, ended up being all opinionated on how men should be these days.

These days, the men don't get it.

Ok, back to basics, again.

LOVE LIFE

It's amazing how single i've been. It's amazing how relentlessly unbothered i am towards the opposite sex.

There's nothing much to say where dating's concerned, haven't gotten any since i came back from Umrah. Neither complaining, nor asking for any.

Adam though, is in London faaaar away from me. Thaaanks ah i needed him to be thaaat far.
But hey, as much as i try to forget or in some cases accidentally do, i just can't block out what he and i had back then in June. It was something. No, it was alot of things actually. Haha. More so, it was fun.

I remember Capiche, i still remember. I remember how the events of that saturday night went and how i felt throughout the entire night. The memories are still fresh,yay.

LOUSY CONCLUSION TO THE POST

There you have it, one of the longest post thus far. I really enjoy side-tracking. Brings out the most opinionated side of me. Fuck, i've been blogging for an hour? Madness. I better get some sleep. Tmr's sunday and it's the laziest day for me. Balls, can't even remember what i did one sunday ago.

Ok so sorry if i've offended anyone in this post. Didn't mean to yeah.

Gooznait now.

anugerah

2007-07-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

Anugerah 2007.

Attended the results show at MediaCorp last night with Sharrah and her friends. Imran came along as well. Extra baggage lah he, want to cuci mata only. But alas, Wan and Shakillah got bumped out.

Nowsadays i feel so lazy to talk, to blog.

Tootles.

2007-07-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

How do i do this?

I will never switch you off. Never.

lazy to blog

2007-07-07T10:07:00.001-07:00

Kader Sultan family at Jalan Tembaga ; close cousins.

Jamal's family at Telok Bahang ( Batu Ferringhi ) ; kampong cousins.

Sunset at Telok Bahang.

Sunrise at Telok Bahang. (View from family chalet - heaven)

Birthday dinner with the familia at Pizza Hut, Prangin Mall (Penang Town)

Pizza Huuuut...

Yours Truly, Mira.

Happy Birthday to meeee... baby ganyot makan kek *burp*

This year marks simplicity - and a dream come true - birthday cake was a strawberry cheesecake Dad got for me. He walked miles and miles from where we were staying in the middle of the night just to get me this - without my knowledge of course - cake was the works.

Pictures from my most recent trip to Penang.

Because i am on a full tummy, this post will have minimal words.

The tummy's heavy,so are the eyelids.

Swear i'll update on a lighter mood.

So before i go,

it's Sunday tmr and someone please slap me for doing this -

I'll be heading down to East Point to catch Arshad performing his ANUGERAH magic.

beats me, Sharrah wants to go and she's using me to her fullest advantage to get upclose and personal with Arshad.

Will be meeting this ex-bf's aunt.

It's been quite sometime since i met that aunty shidah..wonder how tmr will turn out.

Alright people, this is girl wonder...over and OUT!

miss ristake

2007-07-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

In my own bubble

This is not my time yet, to die. I have for myself, a life ahead. From the first peel of my upper lids to my last waking moment ; i am constantly at thought.

Many smoked sticks, yet my mind still wanders. Thoughts are cloudy ; colours not in resolution as yet. There are still, things i need to hold on to physically.

The world - spins with or without me. But i belong in it. Time passes by even before i could speak another word. My human mind races another thought, another idea, another memory.

Before i know it, it's sunrise again. Just to greet another sunset - another end to a tiring day flushed with gratitude.

But we humans... What do we know about gratitude? Are we always,grateful? Lies..stop lying. Stop lying to oneself.

Lying,everyday of your life.

Faith.

Fuels me. Keeps me going. A man in hope is not a man who runs away from something ; but runs towards it.

Faith.

A swell in your chest when in abundance. Touches you deep and stretches your substance.
In God i have, but in myself...it seems distant. Fight. i fight, everyday of my life to survive yet my biggest enemy is within.

Contradictions.

Meaning something else when what's said was straight forward. There's always two sides of the coin. I'm simple yet complicating. I'm just human.

But,

no ordinary human.
a growing up human.
a female human.
a living,breathing human.
punch me, i'll bleed.

question in my mind - am i in poetry? is my poetry in movement right now?

answer is - no.

i'm being deep. deep in thought. this might confuse you, if you're not deep in thought. but stop, close thy eyes and sense this ; this depth.

do you have it?

i am human.
just like you.
i have a life.
just like yours.
i sleep and i wake up.
i survive every gruelling day though i do not break a sweat.
i think.
i breathe.
i'll die.

But this isn't my time to die, not as yet. Not my time to feel broken.

Thinking makes me feel enervated. But being forbearing is circumvening. To a susbtantial degree, it heals.

So stop, stop thinking. Stop thinking about it. About this mysterious post and the reason behind it. Let it linger.

Savour the after taste of pain.

back balls

2007-07-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hey balls,

I'm back. Just got home, minutes after midnight on tuesday. It was a trip worth every moment, an unforgettable experience. Thank you dearest family for making it a worthwhile and memoriable one.

Will update pics soon, girl wonder needs to rest and recuperate for an awesomelicious tuesday ahead.

I am back with a bang, and i can't wait for what life has to offer me through these remaining months of the year.

Like all other years, once my birthday has passed, the months just come rolling by...no joke. It has become somewhat a mark on the annual time frame for me,having a birthdate that's exactly in the middle of the year.

So let's start rolling,shall we?

Off to dreamland now. Tootles.

my birthday wish is here

2007-06-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

It is the 30th of June.

My 19th birthday.

To be really honest, i feel young. The figure isn't really that of an old age. I am young. I really am.

Ok so yes, 19 years ago i was worming out of my mother's womb and into this world of vice.
And it's only this day that i get called 'baby' by my parents and a good pillow-thrashing from the demonic sisters.

Now i am sleepy. It's been a haspening day in Penang, and i'm looking forward to alot more kickass fun shit today.

Will be getting my birthday haircut, where i'm going G.I.

Ok no, not thaaat short. Just shorter than this short i'm sporting. Not that it matters anyways, i'm a woman in hijab.

So girl wonder has to have her beauty sleep cos travelling really does tire her. For those sweethearts to who wished me an advanced birthday, i thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Also, i'd like to wish all other june babies a belated birthday if i didn't get the chance to do so on time -

Adib, happy belated twentieth. Never been punctual for you for 3 years running.
Nazeem, happy belated twenty-sixth. I'll see you at your house tmr and we can both feeling2 birthday babies.
Sabri, happy belated twenty-third. Though i know you don't read this, no harm to wish you since i've not forgotten.
Nadia darling, happy belated twenty-second. I still owe you the korma from saudi. Heheh. Keep smiling the way you always do.

Ok er who else??

Oh yes. Last but not least, Happy belated twenty-sixth Harry. I love you bro!

To the rest of the world, your girl wonder's nineteen already and her kickass life story's just about to begin.

I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!

birthday weekend

2007-06-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

Goodbye you singaporeans, i'm off to Penang for the weekends!

Celebrating my birthday there with family and cousins. My nineteenth, my last teen year.

Brain jam right now, can't place what to say but take care folks!

Till Mira returns again.

This is girl wonder,

over and out.

mistero

2007-06-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

Hello.

Days have been good.

Been down and dirrrty looking for employment.

Sidetracked a little bit,

caught fantastic four with the other crazy one.

one word : haspening!

Damn good watch,with all the effects and such.

four thumb up.

Dhoby Ghaut's the bomb.

And now i'm getting random.

Snapped a few pics,happy viewing.

Look at that zit. Shitttt it's huge.

I shall end this post with a "muke konek" with the english slang.

Minah tudong tak betol.