good things when short are twice as good.

This is going to be an emotional entry.
So if emo isn't your thing,
STOP READING. NOW.

I just realised that..the need to have the companionship of an opposite sex is merely the work of our bloody hormones.
Imagine, there are kids my age who don't even go out on dates.
And why, oh why, am i not like them?
Why do i open myself to this kind of world?
Just to take in all the atrocities?....dont get me wrong..i aint complaining, just wondering.

Then again...why oh why can't i ever meet a PROPER male? tell me? where the heck are you guys?!?!
you proper males.

proper in a sense ;

nice.
funny.
cute.
outgoing.
earns a stable income.
and downright genuine.

The ones i've met are either...
too stark, a bundle of lies, or just plainly weird.

Then again im asking myself, DO I NEED A MALE?

let me be really honest.
yes.

i need a male COMPANION.
a pleautonic one would do just fine. I am not sexually hungry or whatsoever,ew no.
it's just nice sometimes to have someone to talk to..someone to share your interests and thoughts with.
someone who keeps in constant contact with you.

so for those girlfriends of mine who have someone who's in constant contact with you, fret no more. please oh please feel grateful. atleast....you know someone out there thinks about you twentyfourseven.

as for me,
i have been very independent.
sometimes, to have someone to contact, makes me irk. but after awhile, i get used to it..and when he's quiet, i start to worry.
stupid, i know.
im just born caring,fuck.

i can go on days without keeping in touch with outside frens or date guys.
as long as i have a shelter above my head, food to eat, water to drink and bathe, wany-diy-imran to talk to, and my family for support...I'M FINE.

but does that make me happy?

i don't know.

weird. cos you never know what in the world makes you entirely happy.
and believe me,happiness comes to those who choose to be happy.
and fuck, happiness is just an estatic moment, awaiting to be overwhelmed by another ounce of displeasure.
my babes, that's reality. and it fucking bites to know that.

i have a wonderful room now, one i can stay in and close the door to every single moment.
yes, it's this kinda times that i feel that i need myself the most.
lock myself up in the room...DON'T show me to the world. i think i've had enuf of it.

these the kinda times i wished Wan was here by my side...watching me type this.
i wished i still had Meerwan, no joke.
i missed having a long-term relationship.
tiring, but satisfying at every end of the day.

looking back thru my secondary and tertiary school diary, i told myself "gosh...all these seem so far away...".

i'm still so young...so consumed in what i want in life...have i ever wondered, what life wants out of me???
i was given a second chance at teenagehood, and what am i so far....??

but then again..life (at this stage) isn't about what i don't have and what i should be having or what i want to have...
it's about what i have, what i have done and what i will be doing.
it gets me messed up.

taufik batisah's 'usah lepaskan' hits me bullseye.

i have been like this, feeling all low-self-esteem about myself since the past few months..
since last year siak. it's like a fucking disease.
i allowed myself to have this disease, big dissappointment to myself.
boo mira boo!!!
i gotta start living sia. like seriously.
i'm beginning to be immune to heartbreak.
like i can see it coming from a mile away.
i dont give myself up so easily anymore.

and you know what...i forgot that i once felt like a diva. for the life of me, yah, diva!
ayo.
so drama lah me sometimes.

but oh wells.

Gee, if you're reading this..
please don't go.
i don't want you to go.
you haven't finished telling me your stories..
and you havent shared enuf insight on National Geographic channel with me..
we have so much space left to cover..
too many words to exchange.
Me and you are of the same bloody breed.
the only difference is,
you are Buddist
and i am Muslim.
I wanna see Bangkok with you..
and ride on your bike..(i just had to include that right.)
and visit your temple...
i want to see all your tattoos and draw them out..
i wanna play the saxophone with you, make a 2 piece duet..
and then i wanna spend a night star-gazing with you..
and at the end of the many years...
i still want to be your friend.

just, your friend.

maybe i miss alot of people but i don't know how to confess it to them.
maybe i miss alot of people for the rightest and wrongest reasons.
but heck, i miss people...
i wonder if people miss me too.

there you go.
Mira for 2007.
the beginning seems to suck,
but it will get better as we go along so ride (with) me.
ngyeheh.

i feel much better now, thanks.

Burp

What gets me going,gets me talking. What He brings me to, He brings me through.

Twenty
elegantly bolder&badder
INSANE.
~~fake and dismissive~~

Mira A.

travel.gossip.girls&boys.

Le Comorades.

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and i fly again.