I'm still hurting..
It just hit me, reading back on Diy's blog.
It just hit me.

"Fucken hell... i'd rather go out with a mat who goes "u... i sayang u tau...i takkan tinggalkan u", than be in a 'serious' relationship with a guy, or if you prefer, man, who goes to geylang holding hands with a fat blonde minah behind my back."

Now..it's all falling nicely into pieces.

But seriously,
who's telling the truth .. ?
B denied
and
D swore she couldn't been mistaken.
Especially if "I" was there to witness it too..

I'm just lost and so confused, i don't want to be thinking
about it anymore.
Honestly,
even if it happened,
i hope he'll come clean once and for all one day.
I'll pray that the guilt would eat him alive..
cos till that one day comes,
it would be a living stigma..
I've forgiven him for it, deep inside.
Because I've done it with my previous taboo.
And if this is what you call 'retribution' ,
then i'll take it in it's grace.

What goes around, does come around.

I'm just still so overwhelmed by the mere fact of deceit.
This is really,challenging.

A small part says - 'main giler'
while the bigger part is telling me to stay sane.
Keep my dignity,
and not crumble.

Who are you?
Why have you arrived?
What do you want from me?

##

Belle baby..
i love you.
Stay strong and i swear, you're not alone.
You're probably feeling what i felt..
and isn't it just magical?
Have faith in yourself..cos right now,
you need yourself the most.

##

Nycer darling..
I'm so happy for you.
Like i said,
you only deserve the best..
and it's an amazing man you have yourself there..
And i'm only wishing for the best to come..
Hug the Man, but smile at the Rock, huh?
=p

##

God knows,
I've never felt this way before.
This cheebye motherfucking feeling.

##

Oh and to all Insomnia staff who reads this ;
(note : Apparently some Insomnia staff read my blog. GOD KNOW WHO)
your fellow Bouncer,yep,that big guy i used to
ok well 'have feelings' for,
owes me $100 and is reluctant to pay me back.
GOD KNOWS WHY.
and im just sick and tired of him,
and his nonsense.
This brings me no joy or pleasure,
and it's wasting my darn energy but just thought
of broadcasting it.

Jahat eh Mira.

##